Cougars-R-Us: The New World of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Diana Kirschner
Examiner, April 15

MSNBC April 13, 2010, Here is a report from EntertainmentAndShowbiz.com: “Demi Moore says that she wants to have a baby with husband Ashton Kutcher! That is something new. This new revelation has come as a good sign from the couple… she has married someone who is her junior and she is aware of it. So let her enjoy her family life. She says that she has observed it over the years that he is a good father to her daughters from previous marriage to actor Bruce Willis. She says ‘He’s an amazing father to my daughters already, so I have no doubt that if it’s meant to happen, it would be another incredible part of our journey together.’ … She further says “We talk about it and it’s something that we would like.” The couple married in 2005 and has been quite famous ever since then. The only thing is that they have a huge age gap …. Hope the good news comes in no time and we can call someone Ashton junior.”

Starting with the character of forty-something Samantha and her young boyfriend on Sex and The City, the media has helped in recent years to open up a whole new role model: “the cougar,” an older woman who dates or marries a younger guy. There now is an online cougar dating site called Cougared.com. And OnSpeedDating.com has cougar/boy toy speed dating, among many other older women/younger guy speed dating events. And there is also a popular TV show called Cougar Town.

Younger guys are often extremely attracted to cougars, who sometimes known as MILFs, according to the Urban dictionary, a MILF is “a sexy mom, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physically attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them.” MILFs are viewed as being attractive because they are sexually savvy, careful about birth control and can be great teachers for less experienced men.

In this new Demi-Ashton world, many 45+ women have happily broadened their dating choices to include younger guys. But for them it is not just sexual: the rules have changed according to a recent study of 100 self-proclaimed cougars. The dated stereotype of the older man-eating woman, a la Stifler's mom from 'American Pie,' no longer applies. These days it is not about a sugar mama having a boy toy fling. It’s about finding a new form of lasting and fulfilling love, just as Demi has.

Most of these new cougars say they are not simply looking for a casual encounter, but rather a long-term relationship with a younger guy. They filter out the gold diggers and expect the guy to pay his way—to cover dinner or split the check. These women want the full experience of dating someone who is romantic, chivalrous and, best of all, relatively free of the emotional baggage of past relationships. 52% of the cougars in the study were in their 40s and their ideal guy is aged 24-27. 45% were ‘lifestyle cougars’ who have dated more than five younger men. Over-40 women are redefining the rules and roles of cougar dating. They know what they want in love relationships and are opening doors to new possibilities for themselves. And the younger guys are now hunting cougars!

Diana Kirschner Ph.D.’s bestselling dating advice book “Love in 90 Days” is just out in paperback with a chapter on Dating Games Men Play --plus a special section on successful dating for women over 45. Dr. Diana is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show. Connect with Dr. Diana and get her Free Relationship and Dating Advice E-course.


Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-29255-NY-Dating-Over40-Examiner~y2010m4d15-CougarsRUs-The-New-World-of-Demi-Moore-and-Ashton-Kutcher

HIV, AIDS Cases Rise Sharply for N.J. Senior Citizens in Recent Years

By Barry Carter, The Star-Ledger
March 31, 2010




In New Jersey, one out of three people living with HIV is a female.

And one of them could be your grandmother.

Consider a 76-year-old grandmother from Irvington. The man she dated for years tiptoed outside their relationship seven years ago and turned her life upside down. She began to feel weak but had no idea what was wrong, why she didn’t have an appetite, why she felt sick all the time.

"I sure didn’t think I had long to live," she said. "I was fixin’ to leave this place."

Our elders are living longer these days and staying vibrant longer. They are a generation that never dreamed it would be vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. We didn’t think they were in danger, either.

"It all stems from people thinking that seniors are not sexually active,’’ said Caitlyn Flynn, program coordinator of the New Jersey Women & Aids Network. Consequently, doctors do not look for AIDS symptoms. "We are not asking them questions as if they are sexually active and not giving them the information they need."

As of December 2008, state health officials said, there were 1,282 people age 65 and older living with HIV/AIDs — 32 percent of them are women. Seniors have the fastest rate of increase of HIV/AIDS cases in the past few years.

Between 2007 and 2008, people 65 and over with HIV/AIDS grew 17.5 percent, said Marilyn Riley, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health and Senior Services. Much of the problem, she said, is education and seniors not believing they are at risk. They’ve been in long-term relationships, thinking their partner is not out there creeping. That’s what young people do, right?

Our Irvington grandmother lost over 60 pounds in a year, dropping from 160 to 96 pounds before doctors at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey in Newark tested her for the HIV/AIDS virus. The woman asked to remain anonymous for this column because she wants her condition to remain private.

She said she was embarrassed by her illness, which is an additional reason seniors with AIDS are a hidden population. The woman said only two of her children know. None of her friends do, and it’s going to stay that way.

"I have several patients, women in their late 50s who can’t tell their children," said Sally L. Hodder, executive vice chair and director of HIV Programs at the UMDNJ-New Jersey Medical School in Newark. "They wouldn’t know how to explain it."

The Irvington grandmother is better. Her T-cells, the ones that protect the body from infection, are up. So is her weight at 146 pounds. Vegetables never tasted better. She hopes seniors use protection, something she doesn’t worry about anymore. She’s finished with intimacy.

"I’m all by myself now,’’ she said.


Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/HIVJersey.htm

Feeling Lonely Adds to Rate of Blood Pressure Increase in People 50 Years Old and Older

It's not a surprise to hear loneliness is a common problem in older adults and seniors. However, this article addresses how high blood pressure can be a result of loneliness and lack of satisfying relationships. Silver Sparks Speed Dating for seniors was developed to address the issue of loneliness and companionship among older adults and seniors. The opportunity for social network is an exciting, innovative way to meet new people and establish friendships and enhance social and mental wellbeing.

MCauch
SageHealth Network
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University of Chicago
March 17, 2010


Chronic feelings of loneliness take a toll on blood pressure over time, causing a marked increase after four years, according to a new study at the University of Chicago.

A new study shows, for the first time, a direct relation between loneliness and larger increases in blood pressure four years later—a link that is independent of age and other factors that could cause blood pressure to rise, including body-mass index, smoking, alcohol use and demographic differences such as race and income.

The researchers also looked at the possibility that depression and stress might account for the increase but found that those factors did not fully explain the increase in blood pressure among lonely people 50 years and older.

"Loneliness behaved as though it is a unique health-risk factor in its own right," wrote researcher Louise Hawkley in an article, "Loneliness Predicts Increased Blood Pressure," published in the current issue of the journal Psychology and Aging.

Hawkley, Senior Research Scientist with the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, is part of a University of Chicago research team that has been doing pioneering work on the impact of loneliness on health and quality of life issues. It includes Ronald Thisted, Chairman of Health Studies; Christopher Masi, Assistant Professor in Medicine; and John Cacioppo, the Tiffany & Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology.

High blood pressure, often called a silent threat as it has few symptoms, undermines health in many ways. It increases the risk for heart attack and stroke and impairs kidney function. A systolic blood pressure measurement greater than 140 mm, also called hypertension, is the most common primary diagnosis in the United States and is the primary or contributing cause of about 18 percent of deaths in this country. It is estimated to cost $73.4 billion per year. However, any measurement greater than 115 mm increases risk for cardiovascular disease, according to a 2003 report by the Joint National Committee on Prevention, Detection, Evaluation and Treatment of High Blood Pressure.

Like blood pressure, loneliness is sometimes not easy to detect. People who have many friends and a social network can feel lonely if they find their relationships unsatisfying, Hawkley said. Conversely, people who live rather solitary lives may not be lonely if their few relationships are meaningful and rewarding.

The team based its research on a study of 229 people aged 50 to 68. The randomly chosen group included whites, African Americans and Latinos who were part of a long-term study on aging. Members of the group were asked a series of questions to determine if they perceived themselves as lonely. They were asked to rate connections with others through a series of topics, such as "I have a lot in common with the people around me," "My social relationships are superficial" and "I can find companionship when I want it."

During the five-year study, Hawkley found a clear connection between feelings of loneliness reported at the beginning of the study and rising blood pressure over that period. "The increase associated with loneliness wasn't observable until two years into the study, but then continued to increase until four years later," she said.

Even people with modest levels of loneliness were impacted. Among all the people in the sample, the loneliest people saw their blood pressure go up by 14.4 mm more than the blood pressure of their most socially contented counterparts over the four-year study period.

Lonely people's apprehension about social connections may underlie the blood pressure increase.

"Loneliness is characterized by a motivational impulse to connect with others but also a fear of negative evaluation, rejection and disappointment," Hawkley said. "We hypothesize that threats to one's sense of safety and security with others are toxic components of loneliness, and that hypervigilance for social threat may contribute to alterations in physiological functioning, including elevated blood pressure."

Contact: William Harms
w-harms@uchicago.edu
773-702-8356 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 773-702-8356 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
University of Chicago


Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/Lonely.htm

Seniors and STDs on Scrubs

I've been searching for this video clip-- an old episode from 2008--from the TV show, Scrubs. I was so impressed that the writers of this show actually address this subject and educate viewers on some important facts on aging and sexuality. It's a great example of how sexually transmitted diseases in the elderly can be misdiagnosed and also undiagnosed. Physicians may not address the issue of sexuality with their older patients due to embarrassment on their part and for their patients, and myths that seniors are asexual. As Dr. Cox so eloquently puts it, "the one thing they damn sure can do is have sex until they croak. The fact of the matter is thanks to a variety of male enhancement drugs, stds have increased among the elderly by 300%" Eliot's comment that "old people sex is disgusting!" sadly, is an attitude that is common among many health care professionals due to long held sterotypes of the elderly.