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SageHealth Network is dedicated to promoting the sexual health, socialization and positive aging of older adults and seniors. We offer unique health promotion workshops and social events focusing on older adults and seniors' needs and overall wellbeing.




Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Grey Matters! Trivia Keeps Older Adults and Seniors Active and Engaged


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 23, 2010

(Toronto, ON): Question: What is a fun way for older adults and seniors to meet new people, keep their brains active & improve their memory? Answer: Play Grey Matters! Trivia.

SageHealth Network, an agency providing seniors’ health promotion, has teamed up with PubStumpers Trivia League to launch Grey Matters!, an exciting live-hosted trivia game for older adults and seniors.

With 10 years combined experience in senior care and event planning, SageHealth Network and PubStumpers have been providing fun, interactive and stimulating events to approximately 200 establishments including charitable & healthcare organizations, seniors’ centre, legions, pubs & taverns, and country clubs & golf courses.

Trivia exercises the pathways to long-term memory and mental stimulation which keep brains healthy, functioning and active. Questions exercise listening and verbal skills, strengthen mental and cognitive abilities and encourage seniors’ socialization. Overall, more exposure to non-routine activities demanding the brain to process new information can help lower the risk of diseases such as various forms of dementia and Alzheimer’s for seniors.

Sponsored by RBC, Grey Matters! national debut will be at St. Paul’s Canada Day event on Wednesday, June 30th at Bridlewood Mall (2900 Warden Ave @ Finch Ave E. NE entrance near Price Choppers). The game is divided into 4 quarters: short answer questions, music clips, true or false questions and multiple choice. Plenty of prizes will be awarded for individuals or team players. Grey Matters! will begin at 11:00am and participants can play a game every 45 minutes until the last game at 2:00pm.

Come out and test your memory, have fun and meet new people. Brainiacs welcome. For more information, contact Michele Cauch at SageHealth Network at 647-831-6630. For information on SageHealth Network health promotion workshops for older adults and seniors, visit www.sagehealthnetwork.com.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happiness May Come With Age, Study Says

By Nicholas Bakalar, The New York Times
May 31, 2010


It is inevitable. The muscles weaken. Hearing and vision fade. We get wrinkled and stooped. We can’t run, or even walk, as fast as we used to. We have aches and pains in parts of our bodies we never even noticed before. We get old.

It sounds miserable, but apparently it is not. A large Gallup poll has found that by almost any measure, people get happier as they get older, and researchers are not sure why.

“It could be that there are environmental changes,” said Arthur A. Stone, the lead author of a new study based on the survey, “or it could be psychological changes about the way we view the world, or it could even be biological — for example brain chemistry or endocrine changes.”

The telephone survey, carried out in 2008, covered more than 340,000 people nationwide, ages 18 to 85, asking various questions about age and sex, current events, personal finances, health and other matters.

The survey also asked about “global well-being” by having each person rank overall life satisfaction on a 10-point scale, an assessment many people may make from time to time, if not in a strictly formalized way.

Finally, there were six yes-or-no questions: Did you experience the following feelings during a large part of the day yesterday: enjoyment, happiness, stress, worry, anger, sadness.

The answers, the researchers say, reveal “hedonic well-being,” a person’s immediate experience of those psychological states, unencumbered by revised memories or subjective judgments that the query about general life satisfaction might have evoked.

The results, published online May 17 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, were good news for old people, and for those who are getting old. On the global measure, people start out at age 18 feeling pretty good about themselves, and then, apparently, life begins to throw curve balls.

They feel worse and worse until they hit 50. At that point, there is a sharp reversal, and people keep getting happier as they age. By the time they are 85, they are even more satisfied with themselves than they were at 18.

In measuring immediate well-being — yesterday’s emotional state — the researchers found that stress declines from age 22 onward, reaching its lowest point at 85. Worry stays fairly steady until 50, then sharply drops off. Anger decreases steadily from 18 on, and sadness rises to a peak at 50, declines to 73, then rises slightly again to 85. Enjoyment and happiness have similar curves: they both decrease gradually until we hit 50, rise steadily for the next 25 years, and then decline very slightly at the end, but they never again reach the low point of our early 50s.

Other experts were impressed with the work. Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School in England, who has published several studies on human happiness, called the findings important and, in some ways, heartening. “It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” he said. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”

Dr. Stone, who is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, said that the findings raised questions that needed more study. “These results say there are distinctive patterns here,” he said, “and it’s worth some research effort to try to figure out what’s going on.

Why at age 50 does something seem to start to change?” The study was not designed to figure out which factors make people happy, and the poll’s health questions were not specific enough to draw any conclusions about the effect of disease or disability on happiness in old age.

But the researchers did look at four possibilities: the sex of the interviewee, whether the person had a partner, whether there were children at home and employment status. “These are four reasonable candidates,” Dr. Stone said, “but they don’t make much difference.”

For people under 50 who may sometimes feel gloomy, there may be consolation here. The view seems a bit bleak right now, but look at the bright side: you are getting old.


Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/happiness_maycome.htm

Friday, June 11, 2010

Tips for Talking about STDs

by Gloria G. Brame
03/31/2009

One of the most difficult conversations for new lovers concerns the sticky issue of sexual health. At the same time, finding out your partner's STD status it is the single most important sexual conversation you may ever have. So here are tips on getting the info you need to make that critical talk go smoothly, and ensure that you are left with a happy memory and not an unhappy disease.

Why You Gotta

No one WANTS to have this conversation. It's clinical and embarrassing and thwarts spontaneity. Unfortunately, you gotta. STDs are at an all-time high in all age groups (particularly college-age kids and the elderly), and some of them (HPV, herpes and HIV) are incurable. If you get one of those diseases, your life will change for the worse. Sterility, pain, cancer, and even death are the price Americans are paying for their inability to talk about STDs. So learn to make the STD conversation a healthy priority in your sex life. The benefits of staying healthy far outweigh any temporary awkwardness.

Time It Right

Talk to your partner about STDs before the sex-play begins. Don't wait until your clothes are off and your desire is boiling. Arousal and nudity have a funny effect on people: it makes them fib, fudge, and get fuzzy about specifics. It also makes them willing to take crazy risks. Talk about it on the drive home; discuss it by phone. Just don't wait until your brain is clouded by lust. Also important: It may be fun to have sex when you're tipsy or high, but this conversation should only take place when you and your partner are stone cold sober.

Take the First Step

A diplomatic approach is to start the conversation by telling your partner about your own status. Remember that if you want honesty, you must give honesty: if you have any concerns about former lovers or if you haven't been tested for something you think you could have picked up, it is your moral obligation to inform a potential partner of the risk. So set the example: give your partner a clear picture of your sexual health. Most people will volunteer the same information in response. If your lover refuses to have this conversation, walk away. In my clinical experience, people who conceal their STD status have something (big) to hide.

Deal With It

It's human nature to want something so much that we overlook red flags. This is especially true when we're dying to sleep with someone. But be prepared to deal with reality if you don't get the answers you were hoping for. Ask how many partners they've had; ask if they regularly use condoms or others types of STD protection; ask if they've been screened for STDs. If your partner is vague or treats the subject as if it isn't important, don't brush it off. If they can't discuss the subject openly with you they probably didn't discuss it with their former partners and that is very bad news for you. Sexually active adults who don't make an effort to prevent STDs usually end up getting them and infecting their partners.

Don't Over-React To It

So your hot and sexy partner just revealed that he or she has an STD. Don't freak out: it doesn't mean you can't have great sex. It just means you have to have safe sex. There are many happy, long-term couples out there where one partner is infected and the other never catches it. Virtually every known STD can be prevented so don't think someone's STD means the end of your sex life together. Educate yourself on the particular STD, and follow the CDC's guidelines on prevention. Meanwhile, don't hesitate to explore safe-sex options, such as mutual masturbation, using adult toys, and role-play.

Source:www.loveandhealth.info

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sex in nursing homes

This is an interesting story about a pair of residents in a long term care facility. Both have Alzheimers disease. It is sad and emotional but it illustrates the plight of individuals in long term and how ignorance and and ageist attitudes can infringe on the rights and freedoms of seniors in long term care. Narrow minded and incorrect beliefs about aging, sexuality and morality not only infringe on human rights but also prevent individuals from attaining moments of happiness and contentment.

Long term care staff and families of residents need more education about Alzheimers and related dementias and how these illnesses can affect the sexuality of seniors. Families in particular need to understand how to handle their emotions when a parent or grandparent or even spouse develops desires and intimacy needs for another resident---one who is not mom or dad. Families need to understand the reality in which their loved one is now living. It's an excruciating process for families to disassociate the loved one they knew, from the loved one who doesn't recognize them anymore. Allowances have to be made to accomodate and acknowledge the sexual and intimacy needs of residents, allowing them freedom of expression all the while trying to find an ethical balance that works for the family. It's a very difficult and tenuous peace and much more work needs to be done in the area of freedom of sexual expression and intimacy of seniors in nursing homes.

My thanks to Kathy McDonald at HEARTH for sending me this article from Slate.


MCauch
SageHealth Network
---------------------------
An Affair To Remember
She was 82. He was 95. They had dementia. They fell in love. And then they started having sex.

By Melinda Henneberger, Slate
Posted Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Bob's family was horrified at the idea that his relationship with Dorothy might have become sexual. At his age, they wouldn't have thought it possible. But when Bob's son walked in and saw his 95-year-old father in bed with his 82-year-old girlfriend last December, incredulity turned into full-blown panic. "I didn't know where this was going to end," said the manager of the assisted-living facility where Bob and Dorothy lived. "It was pretty volatile."

Because both Bob and Dorothy suffer from dementia, the son assumed that his father didn't fully understand what was going on. And his sputtering cell phone call reporting the scene he'd happened upon would have been funny, the manager said, if the consequences hadn't been so serious. "He was going, 'She had her mouth on my dad's penis! And it's not even clean!' " Bob's son became determined to keep the two apart and asked the facility's staff to ensure that they were never left alone together.

After that, Dorothy stopped eating. She lost 21 pounds, was treated for depression, and was hospitalized for dehydration. When Bob was finally moved out of the facility in January, she sat in the window for weeks waiting for him. She doesn't do that anymore, though: "Her Alzheimer's is protecting her at this point," says her doctor, who thinks the loss might have killed her if its memory hadn't faded so mercifully fast.

But should someone have protected the couple's right to privacy—their right to have a sex life?

"We were in uncharted territory," the facility manager said—and there's a reason for that. Even the More magazine-reading demographic that thinks midlife is forever (and is deeply sorry to see James Naughton doing Cialis ads) seems to believe that while sex isn't only for the young, exceptions are only for the exfoliated. We're squeamish about the sex lives of the elderly—and even more so when those elderly are senile and are our parents. But as the baby boom generation ages, there are going to be many more Dorothys and Bobs—who may no longer quite recall the Summer of Love but are unlikely to accept parietal rules in the nursing home. Gerontologists highly recommend sex for the elderly because it improves mood and even overall physical function, but the legal issues are enormously complicated, as Daniel Engber explored in his 2007 article "Naughty Nursing Homes": Can someone with dementia give informed consent? How do caregivers balance safety and privacy concerns? When families object to a demented person being sexually active, are nursing homes responsible for chaperoning? This one botched love affair shows the incredible intensity and human cost of an issue that, as Dorothy's doctor says, we can't afford to go on ignoring.

Dorothy's daughter, who contacted me, said that, in a lucid moment, her mother asked her to publicize her predicament. "We're all going to get old, if we're lucky," said the daughter, who is a lawyer. And if we get lucky when we're old, then we need to have drawn up a sexual power of attorney before it's too late. Who controls the intimate lives of people with dementia? Unless specific provision has been made, their families do. And for Dorothy, which is her middle name, and Bob, which isn't his real name at all, that quickly became a problem.

"Who do you love?" Dorothy asked me, right after her daughter introduced us. She'd married her first—and only other—sweetheart, a grade-school classmate she'd grown up with in Boston and waited for while he flew daylight bombing raids over Germany during World War II. Together they had four children, built a business, and traveled all over the world, right up until she lost him to a heart attack 16 years ago. But she never mentions him now and doesn't like it when anyone else does, either, because how could she not remember her own husband? Her daughter visits every evening, and because Dorothy loves kids, her daughter pays the housekeeper to bring hers over every afternoon, "and she thinks they're her grandchildren, and it makes her happy."

But even showing me around her well-appointed, little apartment in the nice-smelling assisted-living facility was an exercise in frustration for Dorothy: She joked and covered, but she might as well have been guiding me through Isabella Stewart Gardner's house, because all around were tokens from her past that have lost their meaning for her. There were tiny busts of Bach and Brahms, a collection of miniature porcelain pianos, Japanese woodcuts, and some Thomas Hart Benton lithographs she picked up for a few dollars in the '40s. "These are all my favorites," she said, pointing to shelves of novels by the Brontes and books about Leonardo da Vinci and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. But her expression said that she couldn't recall why she liked these volumes best, and what I think she wanted me to know is that she once was a person who could have told me. When her daughter mentioned Bob's name—Bob, who was led away in January, shouting, "What's going on? Where are you taking me?" right in front of her—it wasn't clear how much she remembered: "He came and he went, and there's nothing more to say."

So it was left to her daughter, her doctor, and the woman who runs the assisted-living facility to explain how this grown woman, who lived through the Depression and survived breast cancer, managed a home and mourned a mate, wound up being treated like a child. "Come back anytime," Dorothy told me sweetly.

Downstairs, in her bright, tidy office, I met the woman who runs the facility—one of the nicest I've seen, with tea service in the lobby and white tablecloths in a dining room that's dressed up like a restaurant. In 30 years of taking care of the elderly, she's seen plenty of couples, but none as "inspiring" or heartbreaking as Dorothy and Bob. Which is why she keeps a photo of the two of them on her desk. In the picture, Dorothy is sitting at the piano in the lobby, where she used to play and he used to sing along—with gusto, usually warbling, "I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair," no matter what tune she was playing. She is all dolled up, wearing a jangly red bracelet and gold lamé shoes, and they are holding hands and beaming in a way that makes it impossible not to see the 18-year-olds inside them.

Before Dorothy came along, the manager said, Bob was really kind of a player and had all the women vying to sit with him on the porch. But with Dorothy, she said, "it was love." One day, the staff noticed that they were sitting together, then before long they were taking all their meals together, and over a matter of weeks, it became constant. Whenever Bob caught sight of Dorothy, he lit up "like a young stud seeing his lady for the first time." Even at 95, he'd pop out of his chair and straighten his clothes when she walked into the room. She would sit, and then he would sit. And both of them began taking far greater pride in their appearance; Dorothy went from wearing the same ratty yellow dress all the time to appearing for breakfast every morning in a different outfit, accessorized with pearls and hair combs.

Soon the relationship became sexual. At first, Dorothy's daughter and the facility manager doubted Dorothy's vivid accounts of having intercourse with Bob. But aides noticed that Bob became visibly aroused when he kissed Dorothy good night—and saw that he didn't want to leave her at her door anymore, either. (Note to James Naughton: Bob did not need what you are selling.) His overnight nurse was an obstacle to sleepovers, but the couple started spending time alone in their apartments during the day. When Bob's son became aware of these trysts, he tried to put a stop to them—in the manager's view because the son felt that old people "should be old and rock in the chair." When I called Bob's son and told him I was writing about the situation without using any names, he passed on the opportunity to explain his perspective. "I don't choose to discuss anything that involves my father," he said, and he put the phone down.

But according to the facility manager, the son was convinced that Dorothy was the aggressor in the relationship, and he worried that her advances might be hard on his father's weak heart. He wasn't the only one troubled by the physical relationship. The private-duty nurse who had been tending Bob also had strong feelings about the matter, said the manager: "At first, she thought it was cute they were together, but when it became sexual, she lost her senses" for religious reasons and asked staff members to help keep the two of them apart.

Employees wound up choosing sides—as did other residents, including some women who were apparently jealous of Dorothy's romance. And because the couple now had to sneak around to be together—for instance, cutting out when they were supposed to be in church—their intimacy became more and more open and problematic. At one point, the manager had to make Bob stop "pleasuring her" right in the lobby, where Dorothy sat with a pillow placed strategically over her lap. In all of her years of working with elderly people, the manager said, this was not only her worst professional experience but was the only one that left her feeling she had failed her patients. She had a particularly hard time staying neutral and detached, she said, because she kept thinking that "if that was my mom or dad, I'd be grateful they'd found somebody to spend the rest of their lives with."

One day when Dorothy's daughter arrived to visit, she found Bob sitting in the lobby, surrounded by a wheelchair brigade of dozing people who had been posted around him by the private-duty nurse to block Dorothy from approaching him. That's when Dorothy's daughter got the state involved and started throwing around the word lawsuit, which only made things worse, the manager said. "Once she started talking legal, that pushed things over the edge." The state did send someone in to try to mediate the situation—but then the mediator was diagnosed with cancer and died just five weeks later. Though the mediator's replacement tried to pick up where he had left off, she was never able to establish a rapport with Bob's son.

Finally, Bob's family decided to move him and insisted that neither he nor Dorothy be told in advance. No one in either family was there the morning Bob's nurse hustled him out the door. Later, the manager called his son and asked if there was any way Dorothy might come and visit just briefly, to say goodbye. The son thought about it for a few days and then said no, his father was already settled into his new home and was not thinking about her at all anymore. The lawyers told Dorothy's family that there was no way they could make the legal case that Bob's rights were being violated by his family, because you couldn't put people with dementia on the witness stand.

Dorothy's son-in-law, who is a doctor, suspects Bob's son of fearing for his inheritance. Bob had repeatedly proposed for all to hear and called Dorothy his wife, but his son called her something else—a "gold digger"—and refused to even discuss her family's offer to sign a prenup. According to Dorothy's daughter, Bob's son told her, "My father has outlived three wives, including the one he married in his 80s, and your mother is just one of many." But surely Bob's safety was a true concern, too, and maybe his son had religious or moral qualms? "I don't think so," the manager said. "I don't think he meant his dad any harm, but he couldn't see what his dad needed. … He wanted his dad to have a relationship but on his terms: You can sit together at meals, but you can't have what really makes a relationship, and be careful how much you kiss and don't retire to a private place to do what all of us do."

Though Dorothy might or might not remember what happened, "there's a sadness in her" that wasn't there before, the manager said. Bob "gave her back something she had long lost—to think she's pretty, to care about her step and her stride." She eats in her room now rather than in the dining room where she shared meals with Bob. And she no longer plays the piano. A new couple in the facility has gotten together in the last few weeks. The manager called their families in right away and was relieved to see that they were happy for their parents, and the families have been taking them on outings together. As a result of the whole experience, the manager, who is 50, recently had a different version of "the talk" with her 25-year-old daughter, instructing her never, ever to let such a thing happen to her or her husband: "I hope I get another shot at it when I'm 90 years old."

Dorothy's doctor also took their experience personally. "Can you imagine as a clinician, treating a woman who's finally found happiness and then suddenly she's not eating because she couldn't see her loved one? This was a 21st-century Romeo and Juliet. And let's be honest, because this man was very elderly, I got intrigued; my respects to the gentleman." His patient was happier than he could ever remember; she was playing the piano again, and even her memory had improved.

And though the doctor never laid eyes on Bob, in general, he said, the fear of sex causing heart attacks is wildly overblown: "If you've made it to age 95, I'm sorry, but having sex is not going to kill you—it's going to prolong your life. It was as if someone had removed the sheath that was covering [Dorothy], and she got to live for a while." But after the trauma of losing Bob, Dorothy's doctor came close to losing his patient, he said, adding that most people her age would not have survived the simultaneous resulting insults of depression, malnutrition, and dehydration. "We can't afford the luxury of treating people like this. … But we don't want to know what our parents do in bed."

Then the daughter interjected that Bob's son certainly didn't want to see them having oral sex, and the doctor proved his own point. Holding a hand up to stop her from saying any more, he told her, "I didn't need to know that." But maybe the rest of us do.

Melinda Henneberger is a Slate contributor and the author of If They Only Listened to Us: What Women Voters Want Politicians To Hear.

Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2192178/

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Launching Grey Matters ~ Seniors Trivia

Q: What is a fun way for older adults and seniors to meet new people, keep their brains healthy and active and improve their memory?

A: Play Grey Matters Trivia

SageHealth Network has teamed up with PubStumpers Trivia League to launch Grey Matters Seniors Trivia Games. Grey Matters offers recreational trivia events for mature adults. It is a fun and exciting way to boost your memory power and engage all your mental faculties while making new friends.

With 10 years combined experience in senior care and event planning, SageHealth Network and PubStumpers have been providing fun, interactive and stimulating events to approximately 200 establishments including charitable & healthcare organizations, seniors’ centre, legions, pubs & taverns, and country clubs & golf courses.

Like to see how it's played? Come out on Wednesday, June 30th to St. Paul's Canada Day Event at Bridlewood Mall (2900 Warden Ave NW corner of Finch and Warden). Grey Matters will be played from 11:00am until 1:30pm.

You can also ask us about a promotional game to your residents and clients. Call us at 647-831-6630 or email: info@sagehealthnetwork.com for more details.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Scott Thomas blasts 'ageist' filmmakers

May 29, 2010
By WENN.com

(WENN.com)
Kristin Scott Thomas prefers making films in France because she's convinced movie bosses in her native Britain are too "terrified" to cast older women in leading roles.

The English Patient star was born in Cornwall, England but has gained French nationality since moving to the country when she was a teenager.

And the 50 year old admits she has become disillusioned with the British film industry, where mature actresses are snubbed in favour of younger stars.

Scott Thomas tells Easy Living magazine, "I think it's because England tends to follow America so strongly or they're making films for children - and when I say children I mean anyone under 25. I'm really getting evil in my old age!

"French cinema is not afraid of women of my age. I think it's less terrified of disobeying the rules of what is beautiful and what is acceptable to look at...

"In fact, strangely, I feel much more confident about my appearance now, even with wrinkles on my face, than I did when I was 25. Which is bizarre, isn't it? If one could preserve oneself at 45 then I think that would probably be ideal - but you can't. Unfortunately lots of women try to do just that and that's where they come a cropper (fail) because it doesn't really work, does it?" (PAW/WNTEX/LR)


Original link: http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2010/05/29/pf-14183586.html