SageHealth Network
When you’ve been with your partner for a while, your love life can slow down. Not only the frequency, but the desire and intensity.
Oh to return to the honeymoon phase, the blissful period when you couldn’t get enough of each other. It was a period of exploration trying to uncover what makes your partner happy.
This becomes more a challenge when you’ve been with your partner for years.
Been there, done that, many might say. Life takes it toll on people. Physical, social, emotional changes can affect one’s sexuality and self-esteem. But there are always new avenues to discover and depths to plumb when you’re in a long-term, committed relationship.
This not only refers to physical sexuality, but also emotional fulfillment and satisfaction.
1. Communicate
And the most important of any relationship is and will always be communication. This is true no matter what age you are or how long you’ve been together – one week or 30 years. Communication is the key that unlocks the secrets to happiness, self worth and longevity with a partner.
It is important to be open and discuss sex-related issues with your partner. Talk to your partner about what you like and don’t like. Open and effective communication is essential to any satisfying and honest relationship.
Lack of communication can lead to resentment, fear and anxiety. It is important to keep your lines of communication with your partner open particularly if you experience chronic pain, lack of desire or anxiety following an illness. If you do experience any of these issues, you should also talk to your doctor.
2. Use a lubricant
Personal lubricants are important for older women following menopause. Decreased estrogen leads to a thinner and more fragile vaginal lining. Less lubrication during vaginal intercourse can lead to a good deal of unpleasantness or even downright pain. Water-based personal lubricants are important for comfort and can make sex more enjoyable.
3. Try something new
Some sexual positions may become uncomfortable for older adults particularly if a partner is dealing with chronic pain issues such as arthritis. This is incentive to explore possibilities and try new things that are comfortable and exciting for both partners.
4. Physical touch
Our skin covers an area of about 15 feet and is filled with millions of nerve endings. All these nerve endings transmit the sensation of touch. Many people derive pleasure and emotional satisfaction from physical touch. This includes kissing, cuddling, caressing, hugging, holding hands and massage. These actions also express intimacy and can enhance the emotional bonds with a partner.
5. Timing
It is important to know when the best time is for lovemaking. Some older adults prefer sexual activity in the mornings after a good night’s sleep. This might be the optimal time also for individuals with pain issues when the body is alert and rested. After a warm bath, hot shower or massage after achy muscles and joints are eased also would be a good time to make love.
6. Take your time
Physical arousal time may be slower so it’s important to take some time for both partners to get into the mood. Older adults and seniors need to adjust their expectations of what their bodies can do. Men and women may need a longer time to become aroused. This has nothing to do with desire, but rather physiological changes that happens to bodies as they get older. Be patient: the journey is often more enjoyable than the destination.
7. Engage the senses
Create a romantic atmosphere that engages all your senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and scent. You can create a romantic scene and set the mood by making a candlelit dinner. Play soft jazz, whisper your partner’s name and tell them how much you love them. Share a bubble bath or sensual massage with your partner. When we activate all our senses, we directly stimulate our brain, which is our largest sex organ.
Published by InsideToronto.com August 16, 2012
http://www.zuza.com/blogs/post/1308641-age-well-timing-is-everything-when-it-comes-to-sex-and-older-adults/
