Aging and Wellness Workshops coming up in October 2014

I'm very excited to be presenting my Aging and Wellness workshops at Centennial College School of Continuing Education.

The New Sex ED 101 Friday Oct 24 @ 12-1:00pm
Pleasures and Pitfalls of  Mature Dating Friday Nov 7 @ 12-1:00pm
Positive Aging Movement  Friday Nov 21 @ 12-1:00pm

To register, please contact School of Con Ed: centennialcollege.ca/ce

Seniors and Sexuality: Enjoying Intimacy and a Healthy Lifestyle Part 1

Most people cannot imagine seniors as being sexual into retirement age and beyond. For many young people, it’s impossible to associate physical intimacy with older adults. Senior sexuality has been branded either an uncomfortable or unbelievable concept. There is the belief that seniors are too old to engage in sexual intimacy or they are undesirable to potential mates. It may be news to many, but it’s time we all realized and rejoiced in the fact the seniors are indeed sexually active well into the Third Age.

The Good and Bad News

Yes, it’s true! Seniors are sexually active and enjoying all forms of intimacy. The latest study by the American Association of Retired Persons estimated that 48% of those surveyed aged 45 and over who are single and dating say they have intercourse at least once a week, and 60% of dating singles are satisfied with their sex lives. Among those surveyed, 40% report having intercourse at least once a month; and  44% report sexual touching and caressing at least once a week (64% if they have a partner). Two-thirds of those surveyed say they have either a current or recent sexual partner.  22% say they engage in self-stimulation at least once a week.  (Sex, Romance and Relationships: AARP Survey of Midlife and Older Adults and 2010).

As encouraging as this revelation is, it also presents cause for concern--individuals 50 and over are at greater risk for contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as genital herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, and HIV/AIDS. There are a variety of reasons why older adults are at risk for contracting STIs: lack of education and awareness campaigns targeting older adults, reliance on outdated information, and common misconceptions about seniors’ sexuality on the part of health care providers.

Many seniors have assumptions and beliefs about sexuality that are difficult to change. There is a danger for older adults not to use condoms as a form of safe sex. A common misconception for not using condoms is that they are associated with  preventing pregnancy—something that is not a concern when in your 70s or 80s. Many seniors may believe that HIV/AIDS is a disease that affects young people or gay men and could not possibly affect them at their age.

Some older adults are perhaps newly single, widowed or divorced after long term monogamous relationships years of marriage and do not know of the sexual health dangers that exist nowadays. These individuals are seeking new partners and are in a vulnerable situation due to lack of information and awareness of sexually transmitted infections and the facts about HIV/AIDS.

The Viagra craze has contributed a lot to the increase in STIs in older adults also. More seniors are having more sex; however drug companies and government agencies have not provided sufficient education on sexual health risks nor safer sexual practices. 

Continued......

Indugle in a little brain candy with trivia

I love trivia. I have accumulated much useless information over my lifetime, it has to be good for something. That plethora of pointless facts does more than get me a good score at my local pub, it keeps the synapses in my brain sharp and firing. Just as jogging, weight-lifting or Zumba class can improve your physical condition, cognitive games can strengthen your brain and keep it functioning and healthy. 

Chess, word and number puzzles, crosswords, jigsaws and memory recall games - all mentally challenging games - are beneficial in stimulating the brain and encouraging new neural connections. 

Trivia has all these benefits plus the social aspect when played in a group setting. 

With respect to cognitive development, trivia exercises the pathways to long-term memory and mental stimulation, which keeps the brain healthy, functioning and active. Exercising memory recall, aural and verbal skills, and using visual cues, not only strengthen mental and cognitive abilities, but they can also help develop new cells. Aging brains have the ability to grow, adapt and develop new cells to compensate for lost ones. 

Trivia also has the added mental and intellectual stimulation resulting from socialization. Meeting new people, forming new attachments and deepening companionships are another benefit from playing trivia in a group setting.   

Socialization through leisure activities and games keeps people engaged and contributes to a higher quality of life and general well-being. 

So if you’re interested in boosting your brain power, meeting new friends and dazzling others with your expert knowledge of useless facts, try playing trivia. 

There are organized trivia games and leagues throughout the city and across Ontario: 

PubStumpers: PubStumpers is a Windsor-based business that creates trivia packages for pubs and restaurants. It is played in more than 200 venues across Canada and the U.S. It’s a weekly, live-hosted socially engaging game that runs for 12 weeks. Players can join any time they like and it’s free to play. 

Depending on where you go, teams can be competitive. Put your thinking cap on and dig in your heels if you’re confident you know the correct answer. There is also a version for the 55-plus demographic called Grey Matters! and a new edition to the games roster is the bingo-based, Zengo.

You can checkout the full roster of games www.thecrowdmakers.com

 

Meetup.com: One of my favourite social networking sites is Meetup.com. This site brings together like-minded people based on your interests and area code. It’s a global network of friendships waiting to happen. You can find trivia and games meet-ups by just typing in your postal code at www.meetup.com

 

Toronto Trivia League: Played at several pubs in the east end, this league started in 1992. You can create your own team or join an existing one. There is a per person charge to play. The new season began Sept. 9. If you want to create your own team or join an existing one, check their website at www.trivialeague.com

 

Retirement residences/community centres: Independent seniors’ centres and retirement residences run their own trivia nights. Some of these residences open up their activities to the community. Ask one in your neighbourhood if you can attend and check out their facilities and services.

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Original link:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/4120341-health-age-well-suggest-indulging-in-a-little-brain-candy-with-trivia/

The slow death of ageism

The problem with “isms” is they never die. I’m referring to the negative kind of isms: sexism, racism and, more recently, ageism. The term ageism has been in use since 1969 when gerontologist Robert Neil Butler used it to describe discrimination against seniors. And here we are, more than 40 years later, still confronted with it. 

But there’s a new weapon in the arsenal to fight against ageism. Revera Inc., a seniors’ housing corporation, just released a new report on ageism with a companion microsite called www.AgeIsMore.com.

The new site is aimed at not only challenging negative stereotypes of aging, but also celebrating the spirit of aging and the contributions of older people. Revera Inc. has done extensive research on the aging process and the well-being of seniors and have published findings on quality of life concerns including happiness, love and romance and computer technology usage. Now the retirement industry giant turns its attention toward ageism and how to end it. 

With their new study, Revera seeks to alter our perception and misconceptions about aging and seniors. The study proposes adopting a positive and more consistent attitude toward older adults and being more open-minded about the different aspects of aging – two simple approaches that will help us become more optimistic about the inevitable process and more accepting of those experiencing it.

The site invites people to challenge their personal beliefs and assumptions about aging and older adults by submitting their stories and experiences and reading stories of seniors. 

Some of Revera’s findings include: 

• By 2051, one in four people in Canada will be over the age of 65

• one in three Canadians admit they’ve treated someone differently because of their age

• 63 per cent of seniors ages 66 plus say they’ve been treated unfairly or differently because of their age

• 71 per cent agree that Canadian society values younger generations more than older ones

(Revera Report on Ageism) 

Visit www.AgeIsMore.com and share your story about your own experiences, then share the link with others - it’s one more step toward ending ageism. 

Our next step in the ongoing fight against ageism? A 65-plus superhero who is a true champion of our mature population - someone who elevates their dignity, self-worth and contributions and who fights the evil ageism wherever it lurks. 

But that’s a topic for another blog. 

Original link:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/4043129-health-age-well-talks-about-the-slow-death-of-ageism/

Film Review-Sad and uplifting Amour

Amour is a beautiful love story that focuses on aging, patience and responsibility. 

The plot centers on a husband and wife, George and Anne Laurent (played by Jean-Louis Trintignant and Emmanuelle Riva), both in their mid-80s, retired piano teachers who have been married for decades. 

They enjoy a simple, comfortable life and are content to grow old together. But when Anne suffers a stroke, the couple faces one challenge after another. Yet through their entire ordeal, their bond remains unbroken.  

Not only is Amour a film about a long-lasting love affair over decades, it also illustrates the stresses and difficulties of caregiving. 

After Anne’s first stroke, George assumes responsibility for her care-giving needs. Anne is paralyzed on one side and needs assistance with her activities of daily life – bathing, toileting, dressing, ambulation. The two soldier on with Anne coming to terms with her growing dependence on her husband, and George shouldering the responsibility of meeting his wife’s growing needs.

The two deal with their own depression, resentment and anxiety. Both try to hold themselves together so the other doesn’t witness an emotional breakdown from increasing stress. Anne loses her independence and her ability to make music, while George becomes overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for his wife. 

When Anne suffers a second stroke, she completely loses her ability to communicate. She begins to suffer from aphasia and complete loss of mobility. George still is her primary caretaker and her advocate, firing an in-home nurse who is abusive and dealing with relatives who visit occasionally demanding better care without a thorough understanding of her condition.   

As Anne declines rapidly, George is always nearby. Feeding her, stroking her hand to calm her restlessness, telling her stories, singing to her and patiently teaching her to sound out words.

The film mirrors what all caregivers experience. With an aging population, there has been an increase in the numbers of individuals performing unpaid caregiving. Spouses, children and friends are stepping into the role once reserved by health-care professionals. 

The results of family caregiving can be very rewarding as individuals are able to act with the well-being of their loved one in mind and be strong advocates for them. However, the emotional, physical and financial costs associated with caregiving for individuals with chronic and complex health issues can be overwhelming.  

Informal caregivers can suffer emotional issues such as anxiety, depression, guilt and resentment, and burn out from overwhelming responsibility.  

Stress, exhaustion and repetitive tasks such as bending, lifting and  carrying can result in long-term physical ailments. And financial costs resulting from lost work time and out-of-pocket expenses can take a huge toll on people trying to do the right thing. 

According to the Canadian Caregiver Association, there are approximately four to five million Canadians who provide care for a family member with long-term health problems. As unpaid, informal caregiving, this is equivalent to $5 billion of unpaid labour annually.

 

No matter the good intentions of family and friends in taking responsibility of care, there will be conflicting emotions of resentment and affection - feelings of helplessness, feelings of unworthiness and feelings of loneliness. Like many others before him, this is the string of emotions that the film’s protagonist, George, is plagued by. 

Amour is beautifully sad and tragic, but romantic and full of hope. It shows that love is powerful and binds us to one another. It shows that caring for the needs of another, while stressful and demanding, is also one of the greatest gifts we can give to another. 

Original link:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/3845871-health-age-well-talks-about-the-sad-and-tragic-but-uplifting-movie-amour/

Volunteering for social change with the Canadian Association of Retired Persons

I’m a huge fan of volunteering. I love volunteering. If I didn’t have to work full time, I’d be spending my days and weekends volunteering. There are so many causes I believe in and want to support, I wish I had two more lifetimes in my pocket. 

All non-profits rely on this selfless group of individuals who donate their time, willingly, with the greatest of intentions. And now, this section will benefit from a major windfall. 

According to Volunteer Canada, there are more than five million seniors age 65 and close to 10 million baby boomers making up 43 per cent of the population. Although the majority of 45-plus tend to volunteer within sports and recreation, social services, education and religious non-profits, there is an area that is beginning to show growth. 

The truth is, not many will think of political advocacy right off the bat when it comes to volunteering and giving back.   Boomers and seniors are increasingly showing more interest in having a strong voice in political and social issues. It is expected that more individuals in this demographic will become more engaged in citizen advocacy and civic participation. 

With this major demographic shift in our worldwide population, organizations such as the Canadian Association of Retired Persons (CARP) are so important.

I’m familiar with CARP’s mission, which is committed to a new vision of aging for Canada, promoting social change that will bring financial security, equitable access to health care and freedom from discrimination, among other statements. 

The mission and vision of CARP reflects the mission I created for my agency, SageHealth Network, which focuses on health promotion, positive aging and social connections.  CARP works with 55-plus volunteer-run chapters across Canada that build stronger, more informed, more cohesive communities. The chapters also encourage engagement and advocacy in support of CARP’s areas of focus: finances, health and rights. By volunteering, attending meetings and events, it generates a sense of belonging and increases social participation and connections. And by volunteering with CARP, you’re part of a larger movement that is creating positive change across Canada.

CARP does good work in the community and across Canada. Advocating for the rights of older adults and seniors is advocating for the rights of all Canadians. 

For more information on CARP, contact www.carp.ca or call 416-363-8748. 

Original link:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/3241532-health-volunteering-for-social-change-with-the-canadian-association-of-retired-persons/

Retirement is the perfect time to further your education

By Michele Cauch

So you’ve enjoyed retirement and are now looking to further your education, just for fun. You’ve looked at some university and college options, but it’s too much of a commitment or just too serious.

Perhaps you had something less mentally taxing and less of a time eater in mind. Fear not, fair knowledge seekers, there are lots of special-interest courses out that don’t require jostling shoulder-to-shoulder against freshmen while standing in line for a Timmy’s before your 8:30 a.m. psych class.

Behold, the easiest place to start might be the best well-kept secret – The Toronto District School Board (TDSB) offers continuing education courses after school lets out. 

With 33 sites across the city, you’re bound to find something that appeals to every taste – sewing, pottery, languages, real estate, cake decorating, ballroom dancing, start your own business and drawing for people who can’t draw (yes, that’s the actual name of the course).  Regular courses run for about two months and there are discounts for those 65 plus. 

York District School Board also offers continuing education classes and seniors get a 15 per cent discount. However, you’ll have to grapple with a non-user friendly website to see the course listing. 

Hidden educational gems

 

Two months too long still? Consider reconnecting with one of the oldest treasures in our city, The Toronto Public Library (TPL).  The TPL offers an impressive lecture series that covers an extensive list of subjects from culture, arts and entertainment, health and wellness, history and genealogy and hobbies, crafts and games. You can also join a modern salon and engage in conversation and debate with writers, artists and innovators that come together for conversation and debate. 

Ryerson’s Chang School of Continuing Education offers Ryerson LIFE Institute. LIFE provides opportunities for education, leadership, personal growth and social activities for people 50 plus. The institute offers courses and study groups on a range of topics such as current affairs, art, history, culture, music and film for the 50 plus group. There are also learning travel programs available also. Membership cost is $80 a year and you need to be a member to register for courses.

Fitness junkies can take their enthusiasm to whole new level. 

Transform yourself from gym rat to fitness instructor at the YMCA. The YMCA Fitness Leadership program offers a nationally accredited course to certify instructors as group fitness leader, individual conditioning leader and aquatics fitness leader. The program consists of five elements that lead to certification: basic theory, applied theory, apprenticeship , on-the-floor training and evaluation and certification. 

Be the talk of the town

 

Toastmasters International is a leader in communication and leadership development. Their members improve their skills by attending one of the 13,500 clubs in 116 countries.  Members engage in public speaking exercises and leadership development in a supportive environment. People are encouraged to drop in to a meeting and see if it’s your style before committing to join. 

Whatever your interests are, there’s a course or program that awaits you. You can invest as little as two hours to enjoy a one-off workshop on travel photography in the Arctic. Or you can commit to a program that will give you skills to share your interests with others and help them attain their educational goals.  

It might not be easy to find it, but if you have perseverance and do your sleuthing, you’ll find what you’re looking for. 

Visit http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/2502045-health-you-re-never-too-old-to-hit-the-books-and-go-back-to-school-says-age-well to read the first part of this series about continuing your education. 

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Original link from InsideToronto.com:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/2519069-health-retirement-is-the-perfect-time-to-further-your-education-says-age-well/

Hit the books and go back to school

By Michele Cauch

If you’re retired or close to this life milestone, now is the perfect time to think about going back to school.
Today, there are so many options for continuing education for older adults and seniors. There’s never been a better time to fill your head with learning.

From university degrees to one-off special-interest courses, the world of education is your oyster. There are so many options nowadays for older adults and seniors to pursue educational opportunities, such as affordability, location and program type. Really, the only question now is not why would you go back to school but rather, why wouldn’t you?

Moving into the Ivory Tower
If you’ve ever dreamed of getting a degree or diploma, some colleges and universities now offer reduced rate tuition for people 65 plus. For those who pursue this option of post-secondary education, you’ll get the full-on, in-class experience – rubbing shoulders with freshman, burning the midnight oil writing papers and cramming before exam time. If that sounds like what you’re looking for, check out these post-secondary institutions.

For individuals who are Canadian citizens or permanent residents age 60 or older at time of registration, York academic fees at the domestic rate will be waived. 

Ryerson Chang School of Continuing Education waves tuition fees for students who are 60 years of age or over at the start of the term for undergraduate credit courses/programs. You still have to pay departmental ancillary fees though.
McMaster University in Hamilton has a similar program for undergraduates more than 65. In addition, McMaster reduces fees by 50 per cent for seniors registered in continuing education courses.

Hopefully you’ll find what you’re searching for at York or Ryerson because you’ll have to pay big bucks to attend University of Toronto. The U of T only waves nominal ancillary fees for seniors. Across Canada, there are other universities that offer free or reduced rate tuition for 65 plus such as:

• University of Guelph
• University of Calgary
• University of Western Ontario
• University of British Columbia
• University of Lethbridge
• Mount Allison University

Study through cyber space
If the fast-paced, caffeine-drenched life of a full-time student is not for you, you might be interested in online educational options. The advent of the Internet has changed the way we communicate with each other, how we do business and how we socialize.

It also revolutionized the way we learn. Online courses make studying convenient and flexible right from the privacy of your very own Internet connection. The dress code is much more relaxed when you study at home, too - jeans, ballgown, pajamas are optional.

One of my favourite online sites is Coursera.org
Coursera is leading the way of MOOCs (massive online open courses). Coursera partners with leading educational institutions across the globe to offer courses that were once the privilege of the few. Partner universities include Stanford, Duke, Berklee College of Music, University of Edinburgh, University of Geneva and Johns Hopkins to name only a few.

Coursera partners with 62 universities to offers 92 courses in five languages across four continents. There are 2.7 million students currently studying through coursera.org

And best of all, it’s free!

From introduction to mechanical engineering to songwriting, human physiology to improv, Coursera brings you learning options you never thought you’d be able to take advantage of.

While you won’t earn your degree through Coursera, you will get a certificate of completion when you finish the course. All you need is an Internet connection. Coursera also connects students to meetup groups based on course. So if you’re one 400 people who signed up for Introduction to Mathematical Thinking and live in Toronto, Coursera gives you the option of connecting to Mathematical Thinking Toronto Meetup.com to get together with other individuals in the same course.

Coursera has pioneered online learning, making education possible for millions of people.

Next, special-interest courses


Original link:  http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/2502045-health-you-re-never-too-old-to-hit-the-books-and-go-back-to-school-says-age-well/

How do I love ME , let me count the ways

Write a love letter to yourself this Feb. 14th.

By Michele Cauch

As millions of people get ready to go in search of that perfect Valentine’s gift for their sweetie (or sweeties) it leaves the rest of us to reflect on singlehood. You may feel frustrated being single. You may be searching for a companion and settling for people who are not ideal mates.

But my advice for Valentine’s Day 2013 is to pause and remember there is something more important than having a romantic partner – you.

Single. It’s not a dirty word. Although some are petrified of saying the “S” word, looking at the situation from a different perspective, it is a state of empowerment and strength.

To be worthy of someone else’s love, you need to begin a love affair with yourself first. Romantic love is a nice to have, but self love is a must.

No one is going to love you if you don’t love yourself.

Your first love should always be you.

You come into this world with yourself and you’re going to be leaving this world together. So you are your first and last love. Only when we love ourselves fully and completely can we truly love another person. Loving ourselves with all our faults, quirks and frailties is important in accepting who we really are.

But remember, all those faults, quirks and frailties are accompanied by our special talents, gifts and unique perspectives. We all have wonderful things that make us special.

To show how much you are loved and appreciated, here are some Valentine’s activities you can do with yourself:

1. Don’t wait for someone to send you flowers. Send yourself a bouquet with a note, “Hey beautiful. Happy Valentine’s Day.” Or feel good about making someone else’s day by sending your best friend flowers.

2. Take yourself on a date. How about a movie no one else wants to see. Or take yourself out to a nice restaurant for dinner and drinks. Bring a magazine or a journal. You can write about the funny awkward looks people throw your way.

3. Make a list. Make a list of things you admire about yourself and post them where you can see them. It’s OK to brag about your best qualities. If you don’t brag, who will?

4. Exercise: Respect and take care of your body and it will treat you well for the rest of your life. Go the gym, go to the spa, go for a walk or dance around your room. Besides when you’re physically active, your body releases endorphins — our own natural feel good drug.

5. Write yourself a love letter. You are your first true love. Write it all down and state the wonderful qualities you possess.

If you’re single, don’t get frustrated or feel blue on Feb. 14. Valentine’s Day is strange occurrence on our calendar. It’s a grand marketing ploy developed to offer vendors of chocolates, flowers and jewelers a golden opportunity to pay their bills. It puts people under a lot of pressure to find something that tangibly illustrates their devotion to their significant other.

They can have their one big day of the year to prove their love. You have a full 365 days to celebrate yourself. Why limit that to one day of the year?

Original link for Inside Toronto: http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/1937934-health-how-do-i-love-me-let-me-count-the-ways-says-age-well/
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Michele Cauch is the executive director of SageHealth Network, an agency dedicated to promoting seniors’ sexual health and positive. Cauch holds a master’s degree in social work specializing in older adults and end-of-life care. Cauch has been featured on various programs and publications. Visit www.sagehealthnetwork.com, info@sagehealthnetwork.com or by calling 647-831-6630.

Parks and Recreation offering much-need sex education for seniors

By Michele Cauch

Parks and Recreation is now offering sex education for seniors. No, not City of Toronto Parks and Recreation, but one of my favourite TV sitcoms, Parks and Recreation with comedienne Amy Poehler.

Parks and Recreation Season 5, Episode 4 focused on the rising rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STD), particularly chlamydia, among seniors in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana.

The parks and rec staff, dubbed the Sex Avengers by Councilwoman Leslie Knope (played by Poehler), puts together a sex education seminar targeting seniors.

Naturally, jokes, ageist comments and expressions of disgust at the thought of older people having sex are woven throughout the episode. Yet, it can be too easy to assume the producers are ageist in their portrayal of senior sexuality. 

The characters are used to represent different views of the same conversation. 

For example, Andy captures the stereotypical attitude that most people have toward seniors and sexuality. He expresses a lot of “ewwws” and shivers in revulsion at the educational seminar when seniors are talking openly about sex.

Public health nurse, Ann, acknowledges STDs are increasing because seniors aren’t practicing safer sex. Politician Leslie wants to educate the senior population on safer sex practices to protect the health of the citizens. And then there are Marcia and Marshall Langman, who represent the abstinence-only front and do all that they can to prevent sex education of any kind.

But most importantly, the Parks and Recreation main characters, writers and producers, acknowledge seniors are sexually active and need health education. One lady in the audience actually requests to see the condom demonstration.

The latest stats from Public Health Canada show 12.4 per cent (2,644) of all reported AIDS cases occurred in people 50 years of age or older (www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/aids-sida/publication/epi/2010/6-eng.php). 

In the U.S., one in five newly diagnosed HIV cases is someone 50 or older (The Body, www.thebody.com/content/69471/washington-dc-tailors-hiv-and-aids-talk-to-seniors.html). 

Seniors want sexual health information. They are either not getting it or they’re only getting the cookie-cutter one-sized fits all sex ed, which doesn’t benefit them.

They need honest, realistic, customized education in order to make informed decisions about their own health. We need more politicians such as Leslie Knope who will brave government censure in order to educate and protect the public health.


Original link: http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/1490632-health-parks-and-recreation-offering-much-needed-sex-education-for-seniors/

Hope Springs for older married couples, Age Well says

Hope Springs, a much anticipated film (anticipated by me any way), is a charming, yet serious movie about how a marital relationship changes over time.

Kay and Arnold (played by Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep respectively) have been married for more than 30 years. As what happens with many couples who have weathered the ups and downs of marriage over decades, Kay feels the spark is gone. She feels lonely and that she’s lost the romance in her marriage.

There’s nothing to look forward to any more. Her awkward attempts to kindle romance and intimacy with her husband are thwarted.

When one partner finds excuses to delay or prevent intimacy, this can leave the other feeling rejected, undesirable and unloved. Yet Kay doesn’t want to accept this and decides to do something about it. What would seem out of character for this middle-aged woman who is humble, quiet and reserved, is quite impressive.

She embarks on a quest to reignite her marriage.

The couples’ therapist, played by funny man Steve Carell, takes on the mission of setting the couple back on the right track. Carrell plays it straight and barely cracks a smile throughout the entire film. As a big fan of Carrell’s comedic prowess, I’m always surprised and delighted to see him do drama.

Aside from the feeling the two leads seem oddly mismatched - one wonders how this pair ever fell in love with each other in the first place  - the film takes a realistic look at how marriage evolves and transforms over the years. The familiar challenge many couples face  over time is deciding whether to stay in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship because they’ve invested huge chunks of time or part ways and separate.

Is time and shared history enough to keep two people together? Kay’s lament is that she feels there’s “nothing left to look forward to any more.” For Arnold, it’s status quo. He’s content to live out the rest of his days in the same routine with no expectations.  They sleep in different bedrooms, have superficial conversations and basically live as roommates. This couple who has spent more than 30 years together have become strangers to each other.

The theme that is central to the film is really the issue of intimacy, not merely sexuality.
Intimacy is defined as closeness, either physical, emotional or spiritual. It is intimacy that binds us to one another in both platonic and romantic relationships. In a romantic partnership, intimacy is result of mutual self-disclosure, commitment and desire.   The physical desire to touch, hold, caress, smell our beloved. The power of touch is something that keeps us connected and feeling alive. It warms our soul.

When intimacy fades, it can result in feelings of loneliness, isolation, depression and resentment.

The secret to happy relationships
The key to a successful, long-term relationship may be as simple as keeping two important points in mind - always communicate with each other and never stop learning about each other.

Even though Arnold and Kay speak to each other every day, they don’t really talk. Communication is tremendously important in any type of relationship. Share your feelings, concerns, fears with each other.

You can then tackle these issues together and resolve them rather than sweeping these under the rug and forgetting about them.   The other key is to always maintain intimacy with each other.

In long-term relationships, we may think that there’s nothing left to discover, nothing new to say to each other. An exasperated Arnold points out, “What is there that I don’t know about you?”

However, although you may feel that you know your partner inside out and know their deepest secrets, they’re still their own person. They will always have private thoughts and fantasies you may never find out. This is the first step for Kay and Arnold - to recognize they have ceased learning about each other and they’ve lost intimacy. 

Now, they must work on re-establishing it again.

Hope Springs is not a film masterpiece. Nor will the actors receive Oscars (on second thought, Meryl Streep may win because she just happens to be Meryl Streep). But it’s an inspiring movie that draws attention to the real issues that long-time married couples may face. It could inspire others to seek help and address loss of intimacy and reignite their marriage.

What do you think? What is your piece of advice for keeping a relationship alive?

What advice do you wish you had received when you were younger on how to have a successful relationship?


Original link on InsideToronto.com: http://www.insidetoronto.com/blogs/post/1470460-health-hope-springs-for-older-married-couples-age-well-says/

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Michele Cauch is the executive director of SageHealth Network, an agency dedicated to promoting seniors’ sexual health awareness and positive aging. Cauch holds a master’s degree in social work specializing in older adults and end-of-life care. Cauch has been featured on various programs and publications. Visit www.sagehealthnetwork.com, info@sagehealthnetwork.com or by calling 647-831-6630.

AGE WELL: Twists and turns--The benefits of yoga for older adults and seniors

Physical fitness for older adults is incredibly important to maintain an independent and healthy life. But for many older adults, the thought of pumping iron or pounding the pavement every day seems overwhelming and....painful. Such high-impact activities can cause injury and speed up wear and tear on joints and bones.

And though doing laundry is considered exercise, it probably doesn’t get you excited and eager to jump in. Perhaps you should think about yoga.

I tried yoga many times and at different points in my life. I never got it. I thought I was the only person who wasn’t into yoga.
But after many years, I was coerced into trying it again by a beloved colleague. Much to my amazement, I actually liked it. I guess sometimes it takes a while to learn to like things.

I learned to like yoga after 20 years of trying. And the more I do it, the more I understand and appreciate the health benefits.
There are so many benefits to practising yoga. I discover new things the more I practise. However, for older adults and seniors, it seems the benefits are nearly endless.  

Older participants have reported improvements in some common ailments such as arthritis, hypertension and osteoporosis. The very definition of yoga means “union,” and this refers to the union of mind and body – something we all need more of.

Benefits for the mind
• Regular practise of yoga improves mood and reduces anxiety. Yoga releases endorphins into the body – the feel good biochemical. This promotes a sense of well-being, happiness and alleviates pain.
• Yoga promotes more peaceful, restful sleep through greater relaxation and increasing oxygen into the body through breathing exercises.
• Yoga alleviates depression resulting from stress and chronic pain such as arthritis.
• Yoga involves a meditative component that enhances self awareness and helps participants manifest positive energy.

Benefits for the body
• Stretching and practising proper body alignment improves posture, flexibility, endurance and balance. This can in turn, reduce the risk of falls in older adults.
• Breathing exercises can help control blood pressure. Controlled breathing promotes relaxation and creates an almost meditative state, which reduces stress and has a positive impact on maintaining blood pressure.
• Using your own body weight and maintaining poses strengthens bones and tones muscles.
No matter what your age, yoga offers something for everyone. It balances mind and body that promotes greater self awareness, inner peace and physical fitness.

Part 2 - What else you need to know

Originally published by InsideToronto.com October 11, 2012
http://www.zuza.com/blogs/post/1311691-age-well-twists-and-turns-the-benefits-of-yoga-for-older-adults-and-seniors/

Age Well: Online community created to talk about what you don't want to talk about..Aging

Are you afraid of getting older? Or are you prepared for what life will bring you?
No matter you’re your answer is, you’ll find others who feel the same way. There’s a great new online community initiative called GettingOld.com that wants to hear about how you feel about aging.

It was started by drug manufacturer, Pfizer (yes, that’s right, the makers of Viagra).

The site features a questionnaire asking readers how they feel about getting older. There are four options to choose from: optimistic; angry; prepared; and uneasy. You can click on whichever one suits you and you have an opportunity to share your personal story.

Along with your testimonial, you can also add a video or photo and comment on other posts or share posts through Facebook and Twitter.

Something in common
As humans, we share one common trait. As Dr. Freda Lewis-Hall, Pfizer’s chief medical officer states, “We all have one thing in common - each day we get older. At every age and stage of our lives, we can make choices and take actions that will help us live longer and better. There are so many positive role models today who are changing how people think about aging.”

The gettingold.com site is unique in another way. The site equally validates the positive and the negative aspects of aging.
Aging may not be all rosy and silver linings; however, it’s not the end of the world either. We’re able to get a multifaceted perspective from people of all ages and with varying degrees of attitudes.

The good, the bad and the ugly
But the site is special in another way. It seeks to create a dialogue on an unappealing topic. If we’re to remove the fear and anxiety and associated with aging, we need to talk openly about it – the good the bad and the ugly aspects of aging – so we can greet it head on.

Aging is a natural progression and no matter how we fight it and hide from it, it will always be with us.
Let’s the get conversation moving so we can begin to change our attitudes toward aging. We can’t be afraid of aging anymore.

Check out www.gettingolder.com and share your story.

Originally published by InsideToronto.com September 27, 2012 at http://www.zuza.com/blogs/post/1310766-age-well-online-community-created-to-talk-about-what-you-don-t-want-to-talk-about-aging/

Timing is everything when it comes to sex and older adults

By Michele Cauch
SageHealth Network

When you’ve been with your partner for a while, your love life can slow down. Not only the frequency, but the desire and intensity.

Oh to return to the honeymoon phase, the blissful period when you couldn’t get enough of each other. It was a period of exploration trying to uncover what makes your partner happy.

This becomes more a challenge when you’ve been with your partner for years.

Been there, done that, many might say. Life takes it toll on people. Physical, social, emotional changes can affect one’s sexuality and self-esteem. But there are always new avenues to discover and depths to plumb when you’re in a long-term, committed relationship.

This not only refers to physical sexuality, but also emotional fulfillment and satisfaction.

1. Communicate
And the most important of any relationship is and will always be communication. This is true no matter what age you are or how long you’ve been together – one week or 30 years. Communication is the key that unlocks the secrets to happiness, self worth and longevity with a partner.

It is important to be open and discuss sex-related issues with your partner. Talk to your partner about what you like and don’t like. Open and effective communication is essential to any satisfying and honest relationship.

Lack of communication can lead to resentment, fear and anxiety. It is important to keep your lines of communication with your partner open particularly if you experience chronic pain, lack of desire or anxiety following an illness. If you do experience any of these issues, you should also talk to your doctor.

2. Use a lubricant
Personal lubricants are important for older women following menopause. Decreased estrogen leads to a thinner and more fragile vaginal lining. Less lubrication during vaginal intercourse can lead to a good deal of unpleasantness or even downright pain. Water-based personal lubricants are important for comfort and can make sex more enjoyable.

3. Try something new
Some sexual positions may become uncomfortable for older adults particularly if a partner is dealing with chronic pain issues such as arthritis. This is incentive to explore possibilities and try new things that are comfortable and exciting for both partners.

4. Physical touch
Our skin covers an area of about 15 feet and is filled with millions of nerve endings. All these nerve endings transmit the sensation of touch. Many people derive pleasure and emotional satisfaction from physical touch. This includes kissing, cuddling, caressing, hugging, holding hands and massage. These actions also express intimacy and can enhance the emotional bonds with a partner.

5. Timing
It is important to know when the best time is for lovemaking. Some older adults prefer sexual activity in the mornings after a good night’s sleep. This might be the optimal time also for individuals with pain issues when the body is alert and rested. After a warm bath, hot shower or massage after achy muscles and joints are eased also would be a good time to make love.

6. Take your time
Physical arousal time may be slower so it’s important to take some time for both partners to get into the mood. Older adults and seniors need to adjust their expectations of what their bodies can do. Men and women may need a longer time to become aroused. This has nothing to do with desire, but rather physiological changes that happens to bodies as they get older. Be patient: the journey is often more enjoyable than the destination.

7. Engage the senses
Create a romantic atmosphere that engages all your senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and scent. You can create a romantic scene and set the mood by making a candlelit dinner. Play soft jazz, whisper your partner’s name and tell them how much you love them. Share a bubble bath or sensual massage with your partner. When we activate all our senses, we directly stimulate our brain, which is our largest sex organ.


Published by InsideToronto.com August 16, 2012
http://www.zuza.com/blogs/post/1308641-age-well-timing-is-everything-when-it-comes-to-sex-and-older-adults/

Age Well: Boyd Lee Dunlop proves you're never too old to dream

By Michele Cauch
SageHealth Network

Talent can be discovered in the strangest places and in the most unlikely of people. It's a gift that is bestowed on individuals. No matter how old you are, once you are blessed with it, talent is yours forever. Neglected by some, cherished by others, but mostly envied by all.

Boyd Lee Dunlop, 85, possesses an innate talent that would be the envy of any aspiring musician.
He had his own jazz band during the heyday of Buffalos' jazz scene in the 1940s. But it was his brother, Frankie Dunlop, who achieved fame as a drummer playing with such icons as Thelonius Monk and Charlie Mingus.

That is until one day in the fall of 2011.

It was a chance encounter when photojournalist, Brendan Bannon, visited the Delaware Nursing Home in Buffalo to do a story on seniors. Dunlop simply sat down next to Bannon after coming in from a walk and asked if he was here to see someone. Exchanging pleasantries, Bannon said he was a photographer and Boyd stated he was a musician.

This was the beginning of a unique friendship between the two men. Bannon started recording Dunlop on an old out-of-tune piano and then sent it to a friend in the recording business. All he had wanted was to make an album. Dunlop said, "I waited my whole life for this day and I was gonna do it if it killed me." Dunlop's dream of making a record came true in the winter of 2011. Boyd's Blues was released in December to rave reviews.

Since that time, Dunlop has grabbed media headlines and picked up hundreds of fans along the way. He went from playing two concerts a day to an empty room in a nursing home to filling a 600-seat hall with standing room only.

The extraordinary thing about Dunlop is not that he's 85 years old, but rather he's 85 years old and he had held on to his dream of one day making an album. And that's exactly what he did.
Dunlop is a perfect example of holding on to your hopes and never giving up. You just never know what opportunities lie ahead to help you realize your goals. A little faith goes a long way.
In Dunlop's words, "people don't understand, life is what you make it. Never knock it."

Dunlop's story is about not just about nurturing talent and realizing your goals, but it's also about friendship and opening up yourself to new people. You never know who you will meet, what role they will play in your life and what road they will lead you down.

In May 2012, Dunlop and Bannon started work on Dunlop's second album.

For more information on Boyd Lee Dunlop, visit http://boydleedunlop.com/
Listen to That's Me Playing, Man on CBC Radio: www.cbc.ca/thesundayedition/shows/2012/06/24/hour-2-doc-thats-me-playing-man-and-author-peter-behrens/#igImgId_43482



Originally published by Inside Toronto: 
 http://www.insidetoronto.com/community/life/article/1396319--age-well-boyd-lee-dunlop-proves-you-re-never-to-old-to-dream

The Best Exotic Seniors' Movie

Movie Review- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
 

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There has been a slow trickle of movies made for and about older adults and seniors recently. These movies are a wonderful change of pace in that they depict this age group in leading romantic roles – a nice alternative from films of the past that showed the unpleasant side of aging and later life challenges.

Recently, I watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a low budget picture with major star attraction. The film is based on These Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach and while it probably won’t win an Academy Award for best picture, it sure does leave you with a smile on your fac

Seven seniors facing a crossroads
The film looks at seven seniors facing a crossroads. One woman is left to pick up the pieces after discovering that her late husband’s mismanagement of their money has left her in a financial crisis; two lonely senior singletons set off in search of love and sex and an unhappily married couple are forced to re-evaluate their relationship and self identity after becoming bankrupt. There is also an embittered, socially isolated bigot and a well respected high court judge who finally decides to face his dark past.

This random group of mismatched travellers somehow get thrown together when they all wind up at the same rundown hotel in Rajasthan India. Amidst the backdrop of a loud, chaotic and vibrant India, they each learn how to cope with their personal issues which sets the stage for the next chapter in their lives.

The most surprising character
For me, the most surprising person is played by Tom Wilkinson. The character is a renowned figure in the legal world and viewers may be surprised at his story and the path he takes in the film. What is so refreshing is how matter-of-fact the character is about his personal life choices as an older man. When he is able to rid himself of shame and guilt, the end result is a beautiful and romantic emotional tragedy for the viewer.

The movie is full of optimism and passion. It’s about self discovery and understanding your true worth. It’s about facing obstacles and overcoming them. And it’s about finding love when you’ve given up all hope.

It doesn’t matter how old you are to relate to this film. Life throws curve balls and you need to figure out how to handle each mess that you find yourself in. On the bright side, you also need to celebrate your own victories, no matter how small.

Looking for love
We’re all looking for love and companionship. We all want to feel good about ourselves. We all seek companionship from lovers and friends. To feel loved, to belong, to feel valued and respected—these are things that we can sometimes lose along the way as we make our way through the world. But we continually seek them out because these are what make us human and bind us to others.


By Michele Cauch, Executive Director, SageHealth Network

Published in Comfort Life Magazine http://www.comfortlife.ca/blog/review-the-best-exotic-seniors-movie-8068/

Tech-Savvy Seniors Bridging the Digital Divide: Revera Report

Social connectivity and, independent living key benefits, say seniors; new research partnership with U of T to explore age-friendly technologies

TORONTO, Canada, June 20, 2012 – Digital communications may once have been the domain of the young, but Canada’s senior citizens are increasingly crossing the digital divide, according to new research from Revera, a Canadian leader in seniors' accommodation, care and services.  The Revera Report on Tech-Savvy Seniors reveals that a growing army of online seniors, aged 75 and older, are using digital technology for everything from independent living to online shopping and more face time with friends and family using platforms like Skype. Further, three-quarters surveyed say they believe technology has the potential to make their lives easier.

According to Statistics Canada, only five per cent of seniors 75 and older were online in 2000^[i]; today, that number has grown more than fivefold to 27 per cent^[ii]. Recent data from Pew Research Center, a U.S.-based think-tank, showed 34 per cent of American seniors 75-plus are now online^[iii].

“The computer is invaluable to me. I don’t know what I would do without it,” said Bertha Kronenberg, 88, who stays in touch with family living in South Africa from her computer at Revera’s Forest Hill Place Retirement Residence in Toronto. “The internet is a wonderful record of what is going on in the world.”

Revera Report on Tech-Savvy Seniors: Key Findings

·      Canadian online seniors 75 and older are most inclined to use technology to keep socially active.  In fact, email has surpassed face to face contact as a primary way to keep in contact with friends and family.

·      Fifty-three per cent are socializing via social networking sites like Facebook, and one in five uses Skype or Facetime to speak with friends and family.  

·      Eighty-eight per cent go online at least once a day.

·      Seven in 10 believe technology plays an important role in helping them live in their homes for as long as possible.

In response to this growth, Revera is teaming up with the University of Toronto’s Technologies for Aging Gracefully Lab (TAGlab) in a three-year, $50,000/year research partnership. Along with research and development at the University, the partnership will see TAGlab researchers visiting Revera residences to conduct focus groups and test new technologies.

“Our shared goal is to create new advances in technology that will have a positive impact on the lives of Canadian seniors,” says Trish Barbato, Senior Vice President of Home Health and Business Development at Revera Inc. “There is such vast potential for technology to play a pivotal role in helping seniors stay socially active and independent - both benefits of the digital age that seniors say are key.”

Dr. Ronald Baecker, Founder and Lead Researcher at the TAGlab says while not all seniors are currently embracing technology, the emerging trends illustrate the growing place for digital in helping seniors live their lives, the way they choose.

“We know for instance that Canadians want to age at home,” says Dr. Baecker. “One of the ways we can help them do this is by creating new innovations that will address some of the big challenges they face like isolation and home health care monitoring.  Our partnership with Revera will help us in our mission to advance technology for health, well-being and graceful aging.”

TAGlab is currently working on numerous devices to help social interaction including a touch screen photo frame that sends messages to a loved one’s email saying “I’m thinking of you”.  This message prompts the relative to record a video that is transmitted back to the photo frame for viewing by the senior.  New kinds of electronic books that enhance the experience of reading is another area of focus for TAGlab.

About the Revera Report on Tech-Savvy Seniors

Revera, in partnership with Leger Marketing, surveyed online Canadians aged 55-64, 65-74 and seniors 75+ to find out their attitudes and behaviours around technology use.   The survey was completed online from January 23, 2012 to February 3, 2012 using Leger Marketing’s online panel, LegerWeb, with a sample of 1532 Canadians in the following age groups: 500 Canadians age 55 to 64, 513 Canadians ages 65 to 74; and 519 Canadians age 75+.  A probability sample of the same size would yield a margin of error of ±2.5 per cent, 19 times out of 20.  The Revera Report on Tech-Savvy Seniors is one in a series of reports that will be issued by Revera exploring different topics relevant to the aging experience of Canadian seniors. 

About Revera Inc.

Revera is a leading provider of seniors’ accommodation, care and services; built on 50-year history of helping seniors live life to the fullest. Our nearly 30,000 dedicated employees continually strive to serve a diverse group of clients and to offer choices to meet their individual preferences.  With more than 250 sites across Canada and parts of the U.S., we work to enhance lives in our retirement communities, long term care homes, U.S. nursing and rehab centres and through the provision of home health services.  Canadian-owned and operated, Revera serves approximately 30,000 clients every day, with the core values of respect, integrity, compassion and excellence at the heart of our business.  Find out more about Revera at www.reveraliving.com or find us on Facebook and Twitter.

About TAGlab

TAGlab is a research team in the Department of Computer Science at the University of Toronto that collaborates with clinicians and researchers from the health sciences across North America.  TAGlab conducts research for the journey through life (see also http://taglab.utoronto.ca/).  TAGlab's mission is to enable full participation in society by normally aging senior citizens, and by individuals with special needs — e.g., people afflicted by Alzheimer’s disease (AD), mild cognitive impairment (MCI), aphasia, strokes, multiple sclerosis (MS), or vision loss.  This is done by identifying "sweet spots" where technology seems relevant to human needs, envisioning ways in which the technology could address a problem, then designing, building, testing, and where possible commercializing solutions.

For further information please contact:

Kristen Marano                                                                                                                                                             

Environics Communications                                                                                                                                   

(416) 969-2730                                                                                                                                                          

kmarano@environicspr.com