By Jessica Bennett, Newsweek Web
September 18, 2008
Bob McCoy is a youthful, active 78-year-old. He sings in his church choir, takes a weekly computer class, and regularly attends social gatherings organized by a gay senior citizens group in Brooklyn, N.Y., where he lives. But McCoy worries about a day when he can no longer care for himself: he has no close family, no partner, and he's outlived most of his friends. "I'm used to having friends I can call up and say, 'Let's go to [a movie],'" he says. "But now there's nobody to call."
Newly engaged, Jim Fetterman, 62, and Ilde Gonzalez-Rivera, 56, look forward to growing old together at their home in Queens, N.Y., where they share a garden and a green Cadillac. But the couple isn't sure if or when they'll be able to marry. Their house is in Rivera's name, but because the couple can't legally wed in New York, Fetterman won't automatically inherit it, should his partner die. And even though they are registered domestic partners in New York City, neither man will have access to the other's Social Security, because the federal government doesn't recognize their relationship. "It's not something we like to think about, but there's a certain amount of anxiety that comes with not having those things," says Fetterman.
These are typical faces of the gay and aging—a growing population often overlooked by mainstream advocates. Gerontologists haven't traditionally viewed sexual orientation as relevant to their work—and, according to a study by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, most national health surveys of elderly citizens fail to assess sexual orientation. But gay seniors confront unique challenges: they're twice as likely as straights to live alone, and 10 times less likely to have a caretaker should they fall ill. Older gay men are at high risk for HIV, and many suffer the psychological effects of losing friends to the AIDS crisis. Many face discrimination in medical and social services, and on top of it all, they're less likely to have health insurance: one survey, by the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law, at UCLA, estimates that gay seniors are half as likely to have coverage as their straight counterparts.
"In many ways, this population is a mirror opposite of what the mainstream aging community looks like," says Karen Taylor, director of advocacy and training for the New York-based Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Elders, or SAGE, the nation's oldest senior network. "The average senior in the United States lives with one other person; two-thirds of LGBT seniors live alone. If you don't have those informal support networks built into your life, then everything else becomes a bigger issue. Who forces you to go to the doctor? What happens if you fall?"
As this community grows, in both population and visibility, those questions are becoming harder to ignore. Over the next 25 years, persons in America who are 65 and older are expected to grow from about 12 to 20 percent of the total population, and various estimates indicate that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will comprise 7 to 10 percent of that senior population. Meanwhile, like the Baby Boomers of all stripes, aging gays and lesbians are radically redefining what it means to be a senior—and how they fit into the larger community. They're coming out of the closet, vocalizing their experiences and needs, and, most importantly, demanding public recognition. "If you go back 40 years, there were virtually no openly gay seniors," says Gary Gates, a senior research fellow and demographer at the Williams Institute. "But now you have a large enough group that people are paying attention."
This year, SAGE is celebrating its 30th anniversary, and running an ad campaign in New York to raise awareness about their constituents. And when the organization holds its national conference on aging next month, it will be sponsored for the first time by the AARP. Just that acknowledgement, say advocates, is huge: with 40 million members, the AARP is considered one of America's most powerful lobbying groups—and an influential voice on health care and social policy. "When we look to the future, we know we cannot progress if we don't bring in these other communities," says the Washington-based organization's chief diversity officer, E. Percil Stanford. "The [gay and lesbian] community is quite often invisible and overlooked."
That recognition is much needed—especially for older seniors, many of who spent years hiding their sexuality, and in some sense, still do. Many of today's seniors were already in their 20s and 30s when the Stonewall riots took place in 1969, considered the birth of the gay rights movement. Until 1973, homosexuality was still considered a mental illness, and in some jurisdictions in the United States, gays could be prosecuted as recently as five years ago, before the Supreme Court struck down a Texas sodomy law. Attitudes may have changed, but many seniors harbor chilling memories of being shunned, isolated, and in fear for their physical safety.
Social worker Lee Chew, 59, remembers, in junior high school, looking up "gay" in the dictionary, to find out just how "sick" he was—and deciding, until he was in his mid-20s, "to keep this to myself." At 90, Jerre Kalbas, one of SAGE's original female members, tells stories of growing up in the 1930s, when women weren't supposed to even wear pants. She describes men hooting at her on the street, yelling "dyke"—and even though she had relationships with other women, she was terrified she'd be exposed to her family, or fired from her job. McCoy, who spent years as an Army communications official, remembers going to a bar in Greenwich Village in the late 1960s, and climbing out a bathroom window to escape police officers during a surprise raid. Fetterman, who came out to his wife and the Episcopal church where he was a priest just six years ago, was dismissed from his job and kicked out of his home. "My entire life came crashing down," he says.
Some seniors, like McCoy, still won't offer up their orientation willingly. (Though McCoy considers himself out, he still hasn't told his doctor, therapist or social worker he is gay.) And in some cases, that internalized fear may actually prevent lesbian and gay seniors from accessing public services. One study, by the Milwaukee County Department On Aging, found that gay seniors who feared they wouldn't be welcome at an aging center were five times less likely to step foot in the door.
For those who can afford it, there are gay-specific retirement communities and free service centers dotted around the nation, mostly in urban areas. But most regular nursing homes give shared-room preference to their married clients, and only a few states require employers to give leave for employees caring for same-sex partners. Inside care centers, advocates tell stories of social workers using gloves to treat only their gay patients, or those patients being shuffled around from room to room to avoid harassment from other residents. In rare cases, social workers say that couples have gone to the extent of agreeing not to visit each other, for fear the staff will treat them differently. And many patients revert back into the closet to protect themselves. "If you can imagine a situation where you're 80 years old, with no kids, a partner passed, no cousins or relatives and not one service that will provide you help with an emoticon of respect, that's what most LGBT seniors in this country face right now," says Michael Adams, SAGE's executive director.
Financial and estate-planning matters can complicate things further. In most cases, gay survivors don't have rights to a partner's pension plans, and are taxed on 401(k)s and IRAs they might inherit. Same-sex couples must also pay federal estate taxes on jointly owned homes where married couples don't. Sometimes they even have to fight with blood relatives over how to dispose of a partner's remains. To approximate some of the protections of marriage, many gay couples have to set up extra legal frameworks, such as powers or attorney and joint tenancy agreements. "Senior citizens have enough of a challenge just figuring out all the paperwork for health insurance—but gays and lesbians have this added layer," says attorney David Buckel, the director of the Marriage Project at the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, a civil rights group. "It can be overwhelming."
The good news, of course, is that attitudes are changing. At New York's gay pride parade earlier this year, SAGE made the rounds in two purple trolleys, amid 90-degree heat, with walking canes and colorful streamers waving out the windows. Some had been coming to the parade for years; for others, it was their first time. One couple, in matching T-shirts, held a sign that read: "Together 51 Years"—to raucous cheers from the crowd. "The fact is," says Adams, "the [gay and lesbian] community is going through a sea change in terms of the way we live our lives." For gay seniors, there's no time to waste.
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/2008/overlooked.htm
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Who Are You Calling Old?
By June Kronholz, World Street Journal
August 26, 2008
In 1996, Bob Dole, the Republican Party's presidential nominee, battled criticism that, at 73 years old, he was too old to be president. Now 85, Mr. Dole is working "pretty much every day" at a Washington law firm, says the firm's spokesman.
Age is certain to be an issue in this election, too. Republican Sen. John McCain, who turns 72 this week, would be the oldest man elected president should he win. Democratic Sen. Barack Obama, at 47, would be the fourth-youngest.
But in a country that is rapidly aging while staying healthy longer, what does old age mean, and how much should it matter?
The average U.S. life expectancy is now age 78, up 30 years since 1900 and up 10 years since 1950, according to the Census Bureau. Geriatricians now talk of those younger than 80 as the "young old," and of those younger than 65 as the "near old."
U.S. businesses still seem wary of older people. The Corporate Library, a business-research firm, says that seven of the largest 500 public companies, including News Corp. -- owner of Dow Jones & Co., publisher of The Wall Street Journal -- have chief executives who are 72 or older. Some corporate recruiters warn about the memories, energy levels and technological savvy of older executives.
By that standard, businessman Warren Buffet, one-quarter of U.S. senators and four Supreme Court justices are over the over-72 hill.
In corporate America, "there's a code word -- how much 'runway' does a guy have" left in his career, said Hal Reiter, chairman of Herbert Mines Associates, which recruits executives for the retail industry. An executive in his 60s probably has five to seven years left on his runway, Mr. Reiter said.
Some who study aging say such fears are misplaced. A 45-year-old and a 75-year-old "absolutely" have the same mental capacity, and energy is a function of health rather than aging, said Neil Resnick, chief of geriatric medicine at the University of Pittsburgh.
"Aging has such a small impact on how we function that it is of minimal importance" compared with experience, personality and the advisers a president or chief executive surrounds himself with, Dr. Resnick added.
Geriatricians say most people begin losing organ function -- which means they start aging -- somewhere between 18 and 30. After that, the heart, kidneys and other organs lose about 1% of their function each year. The world record for a 75-year-old marathon runner is about 50% longer than the world record for a runner who is 50 years younger.
But organs have from four to six times more capacity than most people need. That excess capacity is why we can run marathons or endure other extraordinary mental or physical challenges.
Brain function declines at the same rate as other organs, and especially affects how fast older people can retrieve information -- the explanation for that maddening "senior moment."
Our genes influence how much and how fast we decline: They account for about 30% of longevity and perhaps half of age-related changes in the brain, said John Rowe, a physician and former Aetna Inc. chairman who now heads a MacArthur Foundation research program on aging.
But life experience and accumulated wisdom can help offset normal brain decline and compensate for slowed retrieval time. "The great benefit of aging is 'been there, done that and learned from it,' " said David Reuben, head of geriatric medicine at the University of California at Los Angeles. Mathematicians do their best work in their 20s; orchestra conductors and diplomats peak in their 60s or 70s, he added.
On the other hand, Robert Butler, who founded the government's National Institute on Aging and now heads the International Longevity Center research group, credits judgment over experience when it comes to making sound decisions. He points to Abraham Lincoln, who was 52 and had just 10 years of government experience before becoming president.
Dr. Butler added, though, that brain cells can continue to "flourish" and grow in people in their 80s. Vocabularies expand as people age; older brains develop unconscious work-arounds to diminish the effects of slowed retrieval speed.
Despite Sen. McCain's admitted aversion to technology, there is no research that shows older people are less willing to take up new ideas. "If he's averse to technology now, he probably always was," said Dr. Resnick.
UCLA's Dr. Reuben insists that commentators are asking the wrong question when they focus on age: It isn't how old, but how healthy the candidates are.
Almost everyone knows a 75-year-old who sky-dives, hikes the Grand Canyon or runs a family business. Census Bureau data suggest that Americans generally are staving off disability to the very end of life: Those at age 65 can expect that half their remaining years will be disability free.
About one in eight men age 70 or older is working, and among those who aren't, poor health is one of the less-important reasons. Even though age-discrimination laws often prevent mandatory retirement, twice as many say they were "forced" to retire for one reason or other as those who said they were sidelined by illness.
But most people also know someone who died in his or her 50s from a heart attack or cancer. The risks of disease and the effects of a lifetime of exposure to sun, pollution, cigarettes and other life shorteners catch up with us as we age.
The percentage of people with Alzheimer's disease doubles every five years after age 65, and while heart-related deaths are down in the past four decades, cancer deaths are rising.
The backdrop for all this is an over-65 population that will double to 80 million in 30 years as the tidal wave of baby boomers sweeps through. One in five people will be older than 65, up from one in eight now, and Dr. Rowe predicts a future in which as many Americans push walkers as strollers.
Longer life will have a huge effect on everything from immigration policy to public transit to housing. Where will we find all the home health aides, how do we get 85-year-olds off the highways and what is to become of those four-bedroom houses?
Retirement at age 65 made sense when most workers poured steel, plowed fields and mined coal. Today's workers -- still vital and healthy, for the most part -- want nothing to do with lowering their Social Security-benefits age.
An aging society also may affect elections, although that is less clear. Researchers who study prejudice say that Americans are more biased against the elderly than against any other group, including those identified by their race or sexual orientation. Even the elderly are biased against the elderly.
Voters ages 65 and older account for more than one-quarter of the electorate and vote at higher rates than other age groups. In presidential elections, young voters "always go for the new face," said Robert Binstock, a professor of aging at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, but older voters vote much like everyone else.
That means that, even in an aging society, Sen. McCain can't count on the oldster vote, even as Sen. Obama is relying on the youth vote. Being older is one thing; it could be that voting for an older president is another.
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/2008/who.htm
August 26, 2008
In 1996, Bob Dole, the Republican Party's presidential nominee, battled criticism that, at 73 years old, he was too old to be president. Now 85, Mr. Dole is working "pretty much every day" at a Washington law firm, says the firm's spokesman.
Age is certain to be an issue in this election, too. Republican Sen. John McCain, who turns 72 this week, would be the oldest man elected president should he win. Democratic Sen. Barack Obama, at 47, would be the fourth-youngest.
But in a country that is rapidly aging while staying healthy longer, what does old age mean, and how much should it matter?
The average U.S. life expectancy is now age 78, up 30 years since 1900 and up 10 years since 1950, according to the Census Bureau. Geriatricians now talk of those younger than 80 as the "young old," and of those younger than 65 as the "near old."
U.S. businesses still seem wary of older people. The Corporate Library, a business-research firm, says that seven of the largest 500 public companies, including News Corp. -- owner of Dow Jones & Co., publisher of The Wall Street Journal -- have chief executives who are 72 or older. Some corporate recruiters warn about the memories, energy levels and technological savvy of older executives.
By that standard, businessman Warren Buffet, one-quarter of U.S. senators and four Supreme Court justices are over the over-72 hill.
In corporate America, "there's a code word -- how much 'runway' does a guy have" left in his career, said Hal Reiter, chairman of Herbert Mines Associates, which recruits executives for the retail industry. An executive in his 60s probably has five to seven years left on his runway, Mr. Reiter said.
Some who study aging say such fears are misplaced. A 45-year-old and a 75-year-old "absolutely" have the same mental capacity, and energy is a function of health rather than aging, said Neil Resnick, chief of geriatric medicine at the University of Pittsburgh.
"Aging has such a small impact on how we function that it is of minimal importance" compared with experience, personality and the advisers a president or chief executive surrounds himself with, Dr. Resnick added.
Geriatricians say most people begin losing organ function -- which means they start aging -- somewhere between 18 and 30. After that, the heart, kidneys and other organs lose about 1% of their function each year. The world record for a 75-year-old marathon runner is about 50% longer than the world record for a runner who is 50 years younger.
But organs have from four to six times more capacity than most people need. That excess capacity is why we can run marathons or endure other extraordinary mental or physical challenges.
Brain function declines at the same rate as other organs, and especially affects how fast older people can retrieve information -- the explanation for that maddening "senior moment."
Our genes influence how much and how fast we decline: They account for about 30% of longevity and perhaps half of age-related changes in the brain, said John Rowe, a physician and former Aetna Inc. chairman who now heads a MacArthur Foundation research program on aging.
But life experience and accumulated wisdom can help offset normal brain decline and compensate for slowed retrieval time. "The great benefit of aging is 'been there, done that and learned from it,' " said David Reuben, head of geriatric medicine at the University of California at Los Angeles. Mathematicians do their best work in their 20s; orchestra conductors and diplomats peak in their 60s or 70s, he added.
On the other hand, Robert Butler, who founded the government's National Institute on Aging and now heads the International Longevity Center research group, credits judgment over experience when it comes to making sound decisions. He points to Abraham Lincoln, who was 52 and had just 10 years of government experience before becoming president.
Dr. Butler added, though, that brain cells can continue to "flourish" and grow in people in their 80s. Vocabularies expand as people age; older brains develop unconscious work-arounds to diminish the effects of slowed retrieval speed.
Despite Sen. McCain's admitted aversion to technology, there is no research that shows older people are less willing to take up new ideas. "If he's averse to technology now, he probably always was," said Dr. Resnick.
UCLA's Dr. Reuben insists that commentators are asking the wrong question when they focus on age: It isn't how old, but how healthy the candidates are.
Almost everyone knows a 75-year-old who sky-dives, hikes the Grand Canyon or runs a family business. Census Bureau data suggest that Americans generally are staving off disability to the very end of life: Those at age 65 can expect that half their remaining years will be disability free.
About one in eight men age 70 or older is working, and among those who aren't, poor health is one of the less-important reasons. Even though age-discrimination laws often prevent mandatory retirement, twice as many say they were "forced" to retire for one reason or other as those who said they were sidelined by illness.
But most people also know someone who died in his or her 50s from a heart attack or cancer. The risks of disease and the effects of a lifetime of exposure to sun, pollution, cigarettes and other life shorteners catch up with us as we age.
The percentage of people with Alzheimer's disease doubles every five years after age 65, and while heart-related deaths are down in the past four decades, cancer deaths are rising.
The backdrop for all this is an over-65 population that will double to 80 million in 30 years as the tidal wave of baby boomers sweeps through. One in five people will be older than 65, up from one in eight now, and Dr. Rowe predicts a future in which as many Americans push walkers as strollers.
Longer life will have a huge effect on everything from immigration policy to public transit to housing. Where will we find all the home health aides, how do we get 85-year-olds off the highways and what is to become of those four-bedroom houses?
Retirement at age 65 made sense when most workers poured steel, plowed fields and mined coal. Today's workers -- still vital and healthy, for the most part -- want nothing to do with lowering their Social Security-benefits age.
An aging society also may affect elections, although that is less clear. Researchers who study prejudice say that Americans are more biased against the elderly than against any other group, including those identified by their race or sexual orientation. Even the elderly are biased against the elderly.
Voters ages 65 and older account for more than one-quarter of the electorate and vote at higher rates than other age groups. In presidential elections, young voters "always go for the new face," said Robert Binstock, a professor of aging at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, but older voters vote much like everyone else.
That means that, even in an aging society, Sen. McCain can't count on the oldster vote, even as Sen. Obama is relying on the youth vote. Being older is one thing; it could be that voting for an older president is another.
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/2008/who.htm
Sex and the 75-year-old woman
As we are all aware, whenever a news item hits the media about sexuality and seniors, the buzz goes off the scale. It still is newsworthy that seniors can be sexual and enjoy intimacy. As I've noted before, thankfully times are changing with the increasing number of Baby Boomers revamping the horizon on many fronts. We are now beginning to see more older actresses on the silver screen reflecting the life changes of real life women. Casting actresses in romantic leading roles with contemporary actors who are the same age really brings to life the reality of our society and indeed population statistics. Just as Dove's Real Beauty campaign is breaking new ground with its Real Women advertising, Hollywood has finally gotten on board and is showing how ordinary women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s are a visible force affecting the societal landscape. Noteworthy names like Helen Mirren, Diane Lane, Meryl Streep, Diane Keaton and Glenn Close portray women who are sexy, romantic and comedic...Ordinary women are beginning to recognize themselves in cinema in movies that are believable and real--they are more inclusive of age and gender differences rather than fantastical and unobtainable story lines.
Thanks to Linda Barnard for her piece on the 2008 film, Lovely, Still, about seniors finding love. The film was released during the Toronto International Film Fest.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
----------------------------
TheStar.com - Film Fest - Sex and the 75-year-old woman
September 14, 2008
Linda Barnard, Movie Editor
Maybe it's because thinking about our parents having sex still creeps us out no matter how old we are, actor Ellen Burstyn mused over a cup of tea in Yorkville last week.
"I heard Jay Leno make a joke that latest studies show that people are having sex into their seventies, eighties," she said with a wry smile. "He made a joke with a punch line, but it's true. People continue having sex and I don't think young people know that."
Looking at least a decade younger than her 75 years, her skin glowing against a hot pink silk scarf, the star of The Exorcist, Same Time Next Year and last year's fest film The Stone Angel brought her new movie Lovely, Still to TIFF.
It's what they call a "small movie" and has yet to pick up a distributor, but it's a worthy effort thanks to outstanding work by Burstyn and fellow screen vet, Martin Landau, 77. They play Mary and Robert, two lonely people in their seventies who find love, romance and, yes, intimacy during the Christmas holidays. But the story takes a dramatic twist that takes the movie to an extraordinary place.
The fact Lovely, Still is written and directed by first-timer Nik Fackler, 24, makes the project all the more remarkable.
Sex always has a starring role at TIFF, some of it energetic, some disturbing, some thrilling and sensual, and some just plain weird.
But as willing as filmmakers are to push sexual boundaries onscreen, there remains one taboo: sex and seniors. In fact, it seems Hollywood would have us believe 40 sounds the death knell for sex.
And then there was this year's Cloud 9, Andreas Dresen's frankly sexual movie that explores the affair between Inge, a married retired seamstress and her 70-something client, Karl. Dubbed Old People F---ing by some, the surprise with this German flick was just how steamy the sex scenes were.
The film opens with a breathless coupling, something we're not used to seeing on the big screen between a pair with fleshy folds of skin, grey hair and wrinkles around eyes closed in ecstasy. It also explores the attendant hurt and betrayal experienced by Inge's cuckolded husband, wounds as sharp as if they were teenage lovers.
Landau, a veteran stage actor perhaps best known for his work on TV's Mission: Impossible as master of disguise Rollin Hand, refers to director Fackler as "the kid" with great fondness. He's passionate about his role in Lovely, Still in a way he hasn't been for a part in a long time.
"I love this movie," he said, tall and still handsome in a dark suit. "I absolutely love it. It's hard for me to say I love something that I'm in; I don't love it usually. It's a very good movie and I think of it with joy, and I love this movie. Everything I wanted it to be. I trusted this kid, and Ellen, well, she's Ellen."
Landau sees the movie as "a picture about two teenagers, it's basically a teenaged romance."
Adds Burstyn, "there are a lot of people who are single who find love later in life."
She ought to know, having been in a relationship for the past four years with a theatre professor she met through her work at The Actors Studio in Los Angeles.
So life – and a love life – gets better with age?
"I think so, yeah," she says with a smile.
Are you listening, Hollywood?
Original link: http://www.thestar.com/article/498918
Thanks to Linda Barnard for her piece on the 2008 film, Lovely, Still, about seniors finding love. The film was released during the Toronto International Film Fest.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
----------------------------
TheStar.com - Film Fest - Sex and the 75-year-old woman
September 14, 2008
Linda Barnard, Movie Editor
Maybe it's because thinking about our parents having sex still creeps us out no matter how old we are, actor Ellen Burstyn mused over a cup of tea in Yorkville last week.
"I heard Jay Leno make a joke that latest studies show that people are having sex into their seventies, eighties," she said with a wry smile. "He made a joke with a punch line, but it's true. People continue having sex and I don't think young people know that."
Looking at least a decade younger than her 75 years, her skin glowing against a hot pink silk scarf, the star of The Exorcist, Same Time Next Year and last year's fest film The Stone Angel brought her new movie Lovely, Still to TIFF.
It's what they call a "small movie" and has yet to pick up a distributor, but it's a worthy effort thanks to outstanding work by Burstyn and fellow screen vet, Martin Landau, 77. They play Mary and Robert, two lonely people in their seventies who find love, romance and, yes, intimacy during the Christmas holidays. But the story takes a dramatic twist that takes the movie to an extraordinary place.
The fact Lovely, Still is written and directed by first-timer Nik Fackler, 24, makes the project all the more remarkable.
Sex always has a starring role at TIFF, some of it energetic, some disturbing, some thrilling and sensual, and some just plain weird.
But as willing as filmmakers are to push sexual boundaries onscreen, there remains one taboo: sex and seniors. In fact, it seems Hollywood would have us believe 40 sounds the death knell for sex.
And then there was this year's Cloud 9, Andreas Dresen's frankly sexual movie that explores the affair between Inge, a married retired seamstress and her 70-something client, Karl. Dubbed Old People F---ing by some, the surprise with this German flick was just how steamy the sex scenes were.
The film opens with a breathless coupling, something we're not used to seeing on the big screen between a pair with fleshy folds of skin, grey hair and wrinkles around eyes closed in ecstasy. It also explores the attendant hurt and betrayal experienced by Inge's cuckolded husband, wounds as sharp as if they were teenage lovers.
Landau, a veteran stage actor perhaps best known for his work on TV's Mission: Impossible as master of disguise Rollin Hand, refers to director Fackler as "the kid" with great fondness. He's passionate about his role in Lovely, Still in a way he hasn't been for a part in a long time.
"I love this movie," he said, tall and still handsome in a dark suit. "I absolutely love it. It's hard for me to say I love something that I'm in; I don't love it usually. It's a very good movie and I think of it with joy, and I love this movie. Everything I wanted it to be. I trusted this kid, and Ellen, well, she's Ellen."
Landau sees the movie as "a picture about two teenagers, it's basically a teenaged romance."
Adds Burstyn, "there are a lot of people who are single who find love later in life."
She ought to know, having been in a relationship for the past four years with a theatre professor she met through her work at The Actors Studio in Los Angeles.
So life – and a love life – gets better with age?
"I think so, yeah," she says with a smile.
Are you listening, Hollywood?
Original link: http://www.thestar.com/article/498918
Sunday, August 24, 2008
HIV Risk Rises Among Older Brazilians
By Gary Duff, BBC News Sao Paulo, Brazil
July 29, 2008
Walking down a street or through a shopping centre in Sao Paulo, Lucia looks like any other mother or grandmother going about her normal business.
But this 71-year-old woman carries a burden that few know about. She is HIV-positive and the virus was passed on to her by her husband.
Lucia discovered she was infected in 1999, four years after he died of a heart attack.
"I nearly went crazy. I even tried to commit suicide," she says. "I couldn't believe it."
"Some marks appeared on my skin and I went to a doctor who asked me to do some tests and it was confirmed.
"I got it from my husband. As part of his work he stayed away from home for four months and I think it was then that he got it."
Lucia is one of many older people who are treated for HIV at the Emilio Ribas Hospital, the leading centre for infectious diseases in Latin America.
Research among older patients there has found that among women of more than 60 years of age, 75% were infected by their husbands.
Among the men, 80% contracted the virus through sex outside marriage.
Lucia refuses to blame her husband for what happened in her life, and even goes so far as to shoulder some of the responsibility herself.
"He was very good to me. He was an excellent husband. I didn't feel anger against him.
"We never used condoms because we never thought we would get this disease. I don't think he knew he had this virus."
'Guilt'
At the clinic for elderly people in Emilio Ribas, doctors see 100 patients a month, 10% to 15% of whom are new cases.
Jean Gorinchteyn, a specialist in infectious diseases who was responsible for the research, says he has found it is common for men to feel guilty for infecting the wife, while wives tend to forgive the husband.
"These men symbolise a role within the family, as a father, as a grandfather, as a reassuring figure. Suddenly they discover they have HIV," he says.
"It's a problem because it reveals other things, such as that he has sexual vigour and that he had sex outside the family environment."
Another woman who had to endure this experience was 65-year-old Luciene. She watched as her husband, already ill with diabetes, began to lose weight and his hair, until after repeated tests a doctor indicated he was HIV-positive.
When he was admitted to hospital in 1998, she said he was so shocked and scared by witnessing the illness among Aids patients in that period.
"He was so sad, so sad, that he stopped talking. It was like he was paralysed."
After he died, Luciene had to confront another reality.
"I underwent tests secretly. I was ashamed. My husband was very well known and I never told anyone."
She, too, was diagnosed as HIV-positive, but like Lucia she will not blame her husband.
"I never had the courage to discuss it with him," she says.
"I even asked my daughter not to say anything to anyone that he was carrying the virus and that he died of it. He would be ashamed in front of his friends."
'Education'
Pedro, 73, is among the older male HIV patients at the clinic. He arrived with a walking stick to give him support.
Pedro says he doesn't know how he contracted HIV
"I had a problem with dizziness and went to the doctor. I found out that I was HIV-positive after I had some tests done."
Pedro, whose wife died years ago, says he does not know how he contracted the virus, but he never used condoms.
"I never used to think about using condoms. I was married," he says.
"Nowadays I think that people are well-informed."
For Dr Gorinchteyn, looking after the needs of older people who have HIV and even spotting that they may be carrying the virus represents a major challenge, especially when late diagnosis can add to the problems.
"When you have a young patient with a serious pneumonia being hospitalised, the first thing you ask is whether an HIV (test) has been done. When an older person has serious pneumonia we imagine it could be because his immune system is weakened."
He has found older patients adhere much more closely to their medical treatment than younger ones.
It is as if they suddenly realise that death is closer than they thought, says Dr Gorinchteyn.
Many of those diagnosed with HIV in their 60s were infected a decade earlier, and the doctor says it is important to include older people in sexual health campaigns.
Marginalisation
"Today, someone in their 60s or 70s is still in good physical condition. If they feel physically well they will have sex. If they are going to have sex they run the risk of being exposed," Dr Gorinchteyn says.
The problem is that older patients are overlooked and not targeted by government campaigns, he says.
For Luciene, what matters most now is getting on with her life as best as she can.
Luciene was infected by her husband, but does not blame him
"My life continues well because I have a loving family. I don't want for anything. The doctors here are better than in the private sector," she says.
"The worst thing is the sadness that we have because we feel humiliated."
*The names of the patients have been changed to protect their identity.
July 29, 2008
Walking down a street or through a shopping centre in Sao Paulo, Lucia looks like any other mother or grandmother going about her normal business.
But this 71-year-old woman carries a burden that few know about. She is HIV-positive and the virus was passed on to her by her husband.
Lucia discovered she was infected in 1999, four years after he died of a heart attack.
"I nearly went crazy. I even tried to commit suicide," she says. "I couldn't believe it."
"Some marks appeared on my skin and I went to a doctor who asked me to do some tests and it was confirmed.
"I got it from my husband. As part of his work he stayed away from home for four months and I think it was then that he got it."
Lucia is one of many older people who are treated for HIV at the Emilio Ribas Hospital, the leading centre for infectious diseases in Latin America.
Research among older patients there has found that among women of more than 60 years of age, 75% were infected by their husbands.
Among the men, 80% contracted the virus through sex outside marriage.
Lucia refuses to blame her husband for what happened in her life, and even goes so far as to shoulder some of the responsibility herself.
"He was very good to me. He was an excellent husband. I didn't feel anger against him.
"We never used condoms because we never thought we would get this disease. I don't think he knew he had this virus."
'Guilt'
At the clinic for elderly people in Emilio Ribas, doctors see 100 patients a month, 10% to 15% of whom are new cases.
Jean Gorinchteyn, a specialist in infectious diseases who was responsible for the research, says he has found it is common for men to feel guilty for infecting the wife, while wives tend to forgive the husband.
"These men symbolise a role within the family, as a father, as a grandfather, as a reassuring figure. Suddenly they discover they have HIV," he says.
"It's a problem because it reveals other things, such as that he has sexual vigour and that he had sex outside the family environment."
Another woman who had to endure this experience was 65-year-old Luciene. She watched as her husband, already ill with diabetes, began to lose weight and his hair, until after repeated tests a doctor indicated he was HIV-positive.
When he was admitted to hospital in 1998, she said he was so shocked and scared by witnessing the illness among Aids patients in that period.
"He was so sad, so sad, that he stopped talking. It was like he was paralysed."
After he died, Luciene had to confront another reality.
"I underwent tests secretly. I was ashamed. My husband was very well known and I never told anyone."
She, too, was diagnosed as HIV-positive, but like Lucia she will not blame her husband.
"I never had the courage to discuss it with him," she says.
"I even asked my daughter not to say anything to anyone that he was carrying the virus and that he died of it. He would be ashamed in front of his friends."
'Education'
Pedro, 73, is among the older male HIV patients at the clinic. He arrived with a walking stick to give him support.
Pedro says he doesn't know how he contracted HIV
"I had a problem with dizziness and went to the doctor. I found out that I was HIV-positive after I had some tests done."
Pedro, whose wife died years ago, says he does not know how he contracted the virus, but he never used condoms.
"I never used to think about using condoms. I was married," he says.
"Nowadays I think that people are well-informed."
For Dr Gorinchteyn, looking after the needs of older people who have HIV and even spotting that they may be carrying the virus represents a major challenge, especially when late diagnosis can add to the problems.
"When you have a young patient with a serious pneumonia being hospitalised, the first thing you ask is whether an HIV (test) has been done. When an older person has serious pneumonia we imagine it could be because his immune system is weakened."
He has found older patients adhere much more closely to their medical treatment than younger ones.
It is as if they suddenly realise that death is closer than they thought, says Dr Gorinchteyn.
Many of those diagnosed with HIV in their 60s were infected a decade earlier, and the doctor says it is important to include older people in sexual health campaigns.
Marginalisation
"Today, someone in their 60s or 70s is still in good physical condition. If they feel physically well they will have sex. If they are going to have sex they run the risk of being exposed," Dr Gorinchteyn says.
The problem is that older patients are overlooked and not targeted by government campaigns, he says.
For Luciene, what matters most now is getting on with her life as best as she can.
Luciene was infected by her husband, but does not blame him
"My life continues well because I have a loving family. I don't want for anything. The doctors here are better than in the private sector," she says.
"The worst thing is the sadness that we have because we feel humiliated."
*The names of the patients have been changed to protect their identity.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Three Cheers for National Sex Day!
If all goes well, the creative geniuses at Hallmark will be hard at work thinking of greeting cards for this hoped for holiday observance. National Sex Day was an idea conceived by a Vancouver student. It's slated to be celebrated August 21, 2008. A great idea that consenting adults of all ages (within legal parameters) can enjoy. It might be a little more difficult to find a greeting card for this occasion than Grandparent's Day!
MCauch
SageHealth Network
-----------------------
Unzip and unwind for National Sex Day
August 10, 2008
By Terrine Friday, THE CANADIAN PRESS
OTTAWA — Here’s one holiday you won’t want to miss.
A Vancouver student has launched an Internet campaign to create a National Sex Day.
And while it won’t be an official holiday, it’s sure to be fun.
Jonathan Yaniv, a computer science student at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., wants to make Aug. 21 a day devoted to the art of love.
The 21-year-old is trying to get at least one million Canadians to join the Facebook event “National Sex Day 2008.” If he’s successful, it will likely be the biggest organized sex event ever.
The Facebook group already has over 130,000 people getting ready to unzip and unwind.
“I thought a special day, just for this type of activity, (would) be the best,” said Yaniv.
He has been preparing his guests by promoting safer sex, even sending out free condoms on request.
March 21 was initially slated to be the first National Sex Day, but it didn’t go over well with Christians — it was also Good Friday.
Despite that misstep, Yaniv hopes to set a new record with the upcoming mix and mingle.
Vancouver sexologist Dr. Pega Ren thinks the idea is long overdue and wants more Canadians to hop in the sack.
“People should call in well rather than call in sick (that day),” she said.
Ren said a day devoted to sex and sexual well-being is important because it “de-emphasizes hatred and promotes kindness, loving and sexuality.”
She also said that if Canadians don’t get the day off, they should “at least get a long lunch.”
Brittany, a 19-year-old student in St. Catharines, Ont. — who requested her last name not be used — said she can’t wait to “make the best“ of the informal holiday. But she added that participants should be careful.
“If you’re silly enough to find a partner just for the day, don’t be upset when you get a sexually transmitted disease,” she said.
Mike Haymes, spokesman for sexualityandu.ca, reminds participants to make smart decisions about sex and sexual health.
Sexualityandu.ca, which is run by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, provides Canadians of all ages with online resources to lead a healthy sex life.
Haymes said he will probably take part in National Sex Day, especially since it coincides with his wedding day.
But not everybody is as eager to get it on.
Guinness World Records decided not to take track the online effort.
“We try to stay away from explicit types of records,” Guinness said, citing responsibility to younger readers as their main reason for staying chaste. 14:37ET 10-08-08
MCauch
SageHealth Network
-----------------------
Unzip and unwind for National Sex Day
August 10, 2008
By Terrine Friday, THE CANADIAN PRESS
OTTAWA — Here’s one holiday you won’t want to miss.
A Vancouver student has launched an Internet campaign to create a National Sex Day.
And while it won’t be an official holiday, it’s sure to be fun.
Jonathan Yaniv, a computer science student at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., wants to make Aug. 21 a day devoted to the art of love.
The 21-year-old is trying to get at least one million Canadians to join the Facebook event “National Sex Day 2008.” If he’s successful, it will likely be the biggest organized sex event ever.
The Facebook group already has over 130,000 people getting ready to unzip and unwind.
“I thought a special day, just for this type of activity, (would) be the best,” said Yaniv.
He has been preparing his guests by promoting safer sex, even sending out free condoms on request.
March 21 was initially slated to be the first National Sex Day, but it didn’t go over well with Christians — it was also Good Friday.
Despite that misstep, Yaniv hopes to set a new record with the upcoming mix and mingle.
Vancouver sexologist Dr. Pega Ren thinks the idea is long overdue and wants more Canadians to hop in the sack.
“People should call in well rather than call in sick (that day),” she said.
Ren said a day devoted to sex and sexual well-being is important because it “de-emphasizes hatred and promotes kindness, loving and sexuality.”
She also said that if Canadians don’t get the day off, they should “at least get a long lunch.”
Brittany, a 19-year-old student in St. Catharines, Ont. — who requested her last name not be used — said she can’t wait to “make the best“ of the informal holiday. But she added that participants should be careful.
“If you’re silly enough to find a partner just for the day, don’t be upset when you get a sexually transmitted disease,” she said.
Mike Haymes, spokesman for sexualityandu.ca, reminds participants to make smart decisions about sex and sexual health.
Sexualityandu.ca, which is run by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, provides Canadians of all ages with online resources to lead a healthy sex life.
Haymes said he will probably take part in National Sex Day, especially since it coincides with his wedding day.
But not everybody is as eager to get it on.
Guinness World Records decided not to take track the online effort.
“We try to stay away from explicit types of records,” Guinness said, citing responsibility to younger readers as their main reason for staying chaste. 14:37ET 10-08-08
Intimacy is important in the lives of seniors
Scarborough Mirror
June 11, 2008 09:23 AM
MARIA TZAVARAS
Whether we like it or not it happens to each of us: we get older.
If we're lucky, we will live long enough to survive our golden years enjoying retirement and with a rich personal life. That's right, a personal life.
Nowhere does it say that when we hit a certain age that our desire to be in an intimate relationship with a special someone diminishes. But that is one of the misconceptions of seniors - they don't date, let alone have sex.
"People cannot put those two concepts together (seniors and dating)," said Michele Cauch, executive director of SageHealth Network, a Toronto-based sexual health promotion and education company that hosts workshops for seniors. "They cannot imagine it and if they do they're disgusted by it and it's so pathetic, and it's sad and discouraging."
Cauch said she hopes that through her work with the SageHealth Network she'll change those misconceptions about seniors.
"We're all going to get older and for God sake's if anyone judges me because of how I look because I have wrinkles or grey hair, I think that's horrible, you're really dehumanizing a person because of their age," she said.
Ruth Goodman, senior social worker at Baycrest Geriatric Health Care Centre in North York, agreed. She said many people have stereotypes about seniors, with the impression they are somehow different when it comes to love.
"There is a lot of misunderstanding and gender bias as well," she said. "If older men have grey hair that's an attribute, but a woman with grey hair is seen as somehow losing her sexuality and that's unfair."
According to Statistics Canada, the 65-plus age group accounts for 13.1 per cent of Canada's total population, which means, Cauch said, for the first time ever this country will have more older than younger people. By 2050, that number will be at 26.3 per cent.
This number can be attributed to people living longer, advances in medicine and healthier lifestyles, and, Cauch said, a solid emotional and social life certainly adds to that longevity.
Goodman said meeting a new person, having someone being interested in you and having fun are things many older people are hungry for and it contributes to their general emotional well-being.
"Some things are core for everyone no matter the age and that is you want to be acknowledged, validated, and we get that through our relationships," Goodman said. "These things are lifelong, the need to love and be loved, cared about and wanted."
That's not to say that seniors may not face challenges.
For example, if a person has been out of the dating game for awhile she may not only may not only be hesitant, but out of practice.
Goodman said once a senior is ready to date again, the No. 1 thing to do is be socially involved so you have the opportunity to meet people.
Cauch's workshops touch upon all kinds of topics, including the best places for seniors to meet people.
"Volunteering, it's a great way to feel good about yourself and give back to the community; special interest classes; there's going out with friends; faith-based groups; singles travel, which is huge right now; and senior centres," Cauch said.
One area that has exploded, Cauch said, is online dating for seniors, which recently has expanded to include online speed dating.
Goodman also suggested meeting people at church or synagogue, as any social gathering equals opportunity.
That being said, if a senior has been absent from the dating game for 30 to 50 years, some things have changed.
June 11, 2008 09:23 AM
MARIA TZAVARAS
Whether we like it or not it happens to each of us: we get older.
If we're lucky, we will live long enough to survive our golden years enjoying retirement and with a rich personal life. That's right, a personal life.
Nowhere does it say that when we hit a certain age that our desire to be in an intimate relationship with a special someone diminishes. But that is one of the misconceptions of seniors - they don't date, let alone have sex.
"People cannot put those two concepts together (seniors and dating)," said Michele Cauch, executive director of SageHealth Network, a Toronto-based sexual health promotion and education company that hosts workshops for seniors. "They cannot imagine it and if they do they're disgusted by it and it's so pathetic, and it's sad and discouraging."
Cauch said she hopes that through her work with the SageHealth Network she'll change those misconceptions about seniors.
"We're all going to get older and for God sake's if anyone judges me because of how I look because I have wrinkles or grey hair, I think that's horrible, you're really dehumanizing a person because of their age," she said.
Ruth Goodman, senior social worker at Baycrest Geriatric Health Care Centre in North York, agreed. She said many people have stereotypes about seniors, with the impression they are somehow different when it comes to love.
"There is a lot of misunderstanding and gender bias as well," she said. "If older men have grey hair that's an attribute, but a woman with grey hair is seen as somehow losing her sexuality and that's unfair."
According to Statistics Canada, the 65-plus age group accounts for 13.1 per cent of Canada's total population, which means, Cauch said, for the first time ever this country will have more older than younger people. By 2050, that number will be at 26.3 per cent.
This number can be attributed to people living longer, advances in medicine and healthier lifestyles, and, Cauch said, a solid emotional and social life certainly adds to that longevity.
Goodman said meeting a new person, having someone being interested in you and having fun are things many older people are hungry for and it contributes to their general emotional well-being.
"Some things are core for everyone no matter the age and that is you want to be acknowledged, validated, and we get that through our relationships," Goodman said. "These things are lifelong, the need to love and be loved, cared about and wanted."
That's not to say that seniors may not face challenges.
For example, if a person has been out of the dating game for awhile she may not only may not only be hesitant, but out of practice.
Goodman said once a senior is ready to date again, the No. 1 thing to do is be socially involved so you have the opportunity to meet people.
Cauch's workshops touch upon all kinds of topics, including the best places for seniors to meet people.
"Volunteering, it's a great way to feel good about yourself and give back to the community; special interest classes; there's going out with friends; faith-based groups; singles travel, which is huge right now; and senior centres," Cauch said.
One area that has exploded, Cauch said, is online dating for seniors, which recently has expanded to include online speed dating.
Goodman also suggested meeting people at church or synagogue, as any social gathering equals opportunity.
That being said, if a senior has been absent from the dating game for 30 to 50 years, some things have changed.
Sexually transmitted infections are on the rise for seniors
Scarborough Mirror
June is Seniors Month
June 11, 2008 09:23 AM
MARIA TZAVARAS
Seniors who have been out of the dating game have a new set of things to think about.
While they don't have to worry about getting pregnant any more, sexually transmitted infections are on the rise for older people.
Michele Cauch, executive director of SageHealth Network, a Toronto-based sexual health promotion and education company that hosts workshops for seniors, said there are many reasons for this, including people not using protection.
"Just because they're (seniors) beyond child-bearing years people aren't using condoms, they think 'Why should I use condoms I'm not going to get pregnant, I'm 75'...," she said.
Another reason is that 50 years ago, diseases were curable and AIDS was not an issue.
Cauch said the number of HIV cases are also going up because individuals with the disease are living longer and are aging with their illness.
"So there are people acquiring sexually transmitted infections later in life because they're not practising safe sex but there are also people who have acquired STIs earlier in life and they're living longer," Cauch said.
Another interesting fact to note is that with the advent of Viagra, there has been an increase in older married women getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
"A lot of these older men are taking Viagra and then cheating on their spouses, pick up an STD and bring it back to their wives," Cauch said
Caution aside, Cauch said senior dating is often more about meeting friends and having companionship more than it is about dating and having sex in the traditional sense. That's because some seniors may have mobility issues and medication can affect desire and ability.
"With respect to sexuality, seniors I think have a different interpretation about what sex is," Cauch said. "It may not be penetrative sex but it's more what I like to call outercourse."
Ruth Goodman, senior social worker at Baycrest Geriatric Health Care Centre in North York, said sexuality and intimacy should definitely be present in a senior's life, but it should be defined more broadly.
"Intercourse is not the only way to be close to someone, ... it's affection, touch, hugging, kissing caressing. With older people where there may be certain physical losses so it means lovemaking takes a different shape," Goodman said.
Whether you're 65 or 95, Goodman said the richer your social network is the better off you will be. Because seniors go through a number of mental and physical changes, a great support system will help them to better navigate through those changes and be more resilient.
June is Seniors Month
June 11, 2008 09:23 AM
MARIA TZAVARAS
Seniors who have been out of the dating game have a new set of things to think about.
While they don't have to worry about getting pregnant any more, sexually transmitted infections are on the rise for older people.
Michele Cauch, executive director of SageHealth Network, a Toronto-based sexual health promotion and education company that hosts workshops for seniors, said there are many reasons for this, including people not using protection.
"Just because they're (seniors) beyond child-bearing years people aren't using condoms, they think 'Why should I use condoms I'm not going to get pregnant, I'm 75'...," she said.
Another reason is that 50 years ago, diseases were curable and AIDS was not an issue.
Cauch said the number of HIV cases are also going up because individuals with the disease are living longer and are aging with their illness.
"So there are people acquiring sexually transmitted infections later in life because they're not practising safe sex but there are also people who have acquired STIs earlier in life and they're living longer," Cauch said.
Another interesting fact to note is that with the advent of Viagra, there has been an increase in older married women getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
"A lot of these older men are taking Viagra and then cheating on their spouses, pick up an STD and bring it back to their wives," Cauch said
Caution aside, Cauch said senior dating is often more about meeting friends and having companionship more than it is about dating and having sex in the traditional sense. That's because some seniors may have mobility issues and medication can affect desire and ability.
"With respect to sexuality, seniors I think have a different interpretation about what sex is," Cauch said. "It may not be penetrative sex but it's more what I like to call outercourse."
Ruth Goodman, senior social worker at Baycrest Geriatric Health Care Centre in North York, said sexuality and intimacy should definitely be present in a senior's life, but it should be defined more broadly.
"Intercourse is not the only way to be close to someone, ... it's affection, touch, hugging, kissing caressing. With older people where there may be certain physical losses so it means lovemaking takes a different shape," Goodman said.
Whether you're 65 or 95, Goodman said the richer your social network is the better off you will be. Because seniors go through a number of mental and physical changes, a great support system will help them to better navigate through those changes and be more resilient.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)