Although this article is from a British paper, it gives excellent,practical advice on dating after 50. It's also inspiring to hear about other women's experiences in the dating world. If you're single and over 50, it's imperative to stay positive, hopeful and optimistic, while still being alert and cautious. I particularly like the line of "be completely honest about yourself but don't expect others to be honest with you." Words to live by and 100% true for any age.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
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Finding Love Over 50...It's Easy!Daily Mirror, UK
By Judy Yorke 22/02/2010
Fiftysomething, suddenly single and sure how to meet a new man? These three women know exactly how you feel - and what you can do about it ...
If you're over 50 suddenly finding yourself back on the singles market may sound like a daunting experience. But in fact this might be the best time of your life to meet someone new.
More and more women are now finding themselves alone later in life, whether due to divorce or a partner's untimely death.
And Government research reveals that they couldn't be happier.
Far from settling for quiet nights in with a good book, Britain's 600,000 single older women are more likely to be hitting the clubs, jetting off on hols and then Tweeting their friends about it afterwards.
Of 1,000 women surveyed, 17% said they were actively dating and looking for a new partner while 20% said they had a great social life.
"Women in their 50s seem to be more open to the possibility of a new relationship," says Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and dating expert for parship.co.uk. "Usually the children have left home and they're thinking what to do for the rest of their lives. And they have so much life ahead."
Jan Rook, 58, had been married for 29 years before separating from her husband in 2003. Three years later she felt ready to start dating again.
"I was looking for a bit of fun at first," says Jan, an administrator from Essex. "I got engaged at 18 and married at 21. Now I wanted to go out, meet lots of people, enjoy myself and see what happened."
Jan joined several dating agencies and estimates she's met about 50 men, several of them younger than her.
"I think men see women in their 50s as non-demanding," she says. "They don't want babies, they don't want to settle down and have a family.
They're enjoying new freedom and are relaxed about things. That's quite appealing to young blokes."
But Dr Lukats warns that there are some pitfalls in dating someone much younger than you. "The bigger the age gap, the less likely it is to work out," she says. "Only 20% of men in their 30s are open to dating a woman 10 or more years older than them, and the proportion actually looking for an older woman is even smaller."
Jan admits she did make some mistakes at the beginning of her dating career, and warns against being too flirtatious early on.
"I was flirting by text with one man even before our first date," she says. "He'd told me he was stout but when I met him he was enormous. Then after our date he lunged at me in the car-park.
"It's also important to remember that anybody can be anybody on-screen. I met up with one bloke who said he was 5ft 3in but was actually 4ft 10in.
"Every time I looked at him I was reminded of Ronnie Corbett in 'Sorry!'
"I've learned to have zero expectations when I'm going on a date. That way anything is a bonus and I don't come away disappointed. Even if a date doesn't go well I usually learn something from it."
At the beginning of the year Jan decided she was ready for a more serious relationship - and in August she met Del, a painter and decorator, at a singles event.
"It's going really well," she says. "He's lovely, caring and thoughtful. I was ready to meet someone special, even though I don't want to move in with someone or get married - at least for the foreseeable future."
Dr Lukats says that internet dating has made it much easier to meet people, but it's good to wait a bit if you've just come out of a long-term relationship.
"It can be tempting to see meeting someone new as a way to boost your confidence. But if it goes wrong you'll feel even worse," she says.
"And you may be tempted to overlook warning signs that this is not the right person."
She also advises reserving judgement on someone until you meet them. "It's easy to get carried away if someone starts saying how great you are but they haven't even met you! Don't be cold, but don't be flirtatious. Your relationship is very artificial at this stage.
"Beware of dating scams too - especially if you've never met the person. However plausible they appear, don't give away money or bank details, and don't give them your home phone number or address."
Georgina Mitzka, 52, emerged from a series of long-term relationships four years ago not quite sure how to set about meeting someone new. "It's hard to meet people in pubs because men always chat up the younger women," says Georgina, from London.
"I tried online dating, speed dating and singles parties. I enjoyed speed dating but it felt a bit like a conveyor belt and although I had a few dates, I didn't meet anyone through it.
"It also tended to be the same people after a while which got a bit embarrassing.
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"I've recently met someone through an agency but I think sometimes it's easier to meet people through sports clubs and activities. That way you have something else in common apart from the fact that you're both single.
"I met some nice people through online dating, but quickly realised that many men are only looking for casual sex. I prefer men who have been married and have children because then you know they're not commitment-phobes.
"But I try to avoid newly-separated ones as they try to use you as a marriage counsellor."
Georgina has met about 30 men in all - but many for only one date. And there was a major problem without half about dozen - they were married.
"There are obvious signs to watch out for," she says.
"Alarm bells should start ringing if they won't give you their home number after a few dates, or if they won't meet you at weekends.
"I've had a few disasters. One guy phoned his coke dealer while we were in the pub - I walked out. Another mentioned using spanking paddles on the second date... all right if you're into that sort of thing but I'm not."
Eileen Gildersleve, 53, was similarly naive when she started dating again a year ago.
"I met my ex-husband when I was 15 and we were married for 30 years," says Eileen, a secretary from Hertfordshire.
"He'd been my only boyfriend.
We separated two years ago.
"Luckily I have a big group of friends who helped me out and suggested ways I could meet people. I tried a couple of singles events but I thought they were a meat market. So I joined some online dating agencies but I was very nervous - I was actually shaking before my first date. Unfortunately, he was an octopus, but I decided I couldn't let one person put me off.
"I've realised it's very important to date people you have something in common with. I prefer to date men who have a family - Bill, who I've been seeing for a couple of months, has children and grandchildren like me."
Eileen is pleased she made the effort to start dating. "It's very easy not to do anything to meet new people but I didn't want to be on my own. I don't have children at home so I can do a lot more things. I think it's good to meet someone in your 50s as it's easier to merge your lives together."
EILEEN'S TOP 3 TIPS
(1) Don't meet anyone until you've talked to them on the phone. I met one chap after a few emails and discovered he was really boring. If I'd spoken to him first I wouldn't have wasted my time.
(2) Make sure you've seen a man's photo before you meet. I don't date anyone who's not smiling in their picture - I always think it means they don't have any teeth.
(3) Tell several people where you're going and who with and phone them at the end of the date to let them know you're OK.
JAN'S TOP 3 TIPS
(1) If you suspect someone is lying about their age, study what they're wearing in their photo - the fashion is often a giveaway that it's an old picture.
(2) Be totally honest about yourself - but assume that the other person isn't being as honest with you.
(3) Take care when meeting someone new - go to a pub where you know lots of people. Don't be persuaded to go somewhere you don't know or don't feel comfortable.
GEORGINA'S TOP 3 TIPS
(1) If you suspect a man may be married, look him up on 192.com - it will tell you who lives at that address.
(2) Don't have too many tick-boxes - give people a chance.
(3) Try different approaches - speed dating and singles parties, for example, to maximise your chances of meeting someone.
Life begins at 40!
Source: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/02/22/finding-love-over-50-it-s-easy-115875-22060776/
