Talking about sexuality with older clients

By MCauch
SageHealth Network

I was delighted to receive a question from a social work intern. When approached by elderly clients asking for information on sexuality, she tried to divert the topic because she was embarrassed. She asks how she could have handled the situation.

Response: Thank you for your email. I'm glad you contacted me. Asking for help and becoming aware of older adult sexuality are positive steps in altering society's perspectives on aging.

I think the most important thing we can do when caught off guard in a surprise situation is to stay calm and be completing accepting of the question. Or, if you are speechless, quickly compose yourself and apologize by admitting you were caught off guard and you'd like to try and help. This will help your client feel that they are not being judged and help them feel comfortable. Your client is perhaps also nervous and embarrassed and may have come to you because you are a student rather than a professional and this makes them feel less intimidated.

Thank your client for trusting you with such sensitive information but it's important to remind your client that you are a student intern. Ask if they would prefer to be referred to the social worker who may have more expertise in the area. If they don't want to speak to a social worker or other health care professional, it may be up to you to get them the resources that could help them. Get some basic points from your client so you can direct them to the appropriate person/resource/department, for example, decide whether it is medical (ie resuming sexual activity after a heart attack or sex and disability; physical or biological changes (ie prescription medications to enhance sexual activity or biological changes); emotional (issues with intimacy with a partner or self esteem issues). I need to stress communication with your supervisor is key. Either by referring your client to your supervisor or having your supervisor coach how you deal with the situation--your supervisor is their to guide you.

Being a social worker means we are advocates for change, so... read up on elder sexuality,speak to other healthcare professionals on how THEY would have handled the situation, speak to other interns about your experience and make them aware of elder sexuality.

Because of this experience,you're now more sensitive to the subject and better equipped to handle the next time. You may still be embarrassed when asked, but you will be more in control of your reactions. You will be an invaluable resource for the next client who confides in you because you're now more aware of elder sexuality.

Best of luck in your career as a social worker!

Regards,
Michele Cauch
SageHealth Network