This year has been very exciting for SageHealth Network. From the broadcast of The Current in January on CBC to the rush of conference presentations in October. I had a very busy fall preparing for 4 conferences and spreading the word of senior sexuality and intimacy.
October 19, I attended the Older Adult Centres Association of Ontario Conference. I presented workshops on safer sex over 60 to two enthusiastic groups of administrators, program directors and staff. There was alot of learning and sharing that day. My thanks to the all the staff at the OACAO. I'm glad I had the opportunity to present my work to peers in the field of senior care.
The following Tuesday, October 20, I was a presenter at the Keep on Rockin' Sexuality and Aging Symposium sponsored by the Canadian Research Network for Care in the Community. I presented on my experience implementing a senior speed dating program at St. Paul's L'Amoreaux Centre. I was honoured to be in a lineup of speakers that included two of my heroes in the field of senior sexuality--Dr. Merryn Gott, Professor, Health Sciences, University of Auckland and Peggy Brick, Author and Educator. The impressive list of speakers also included Michael Bauer, Lecturer, La Trobe University; Bill Ryan, Adjunct Professor, McGill University; Devan Nambiar, Education Coordinator, Rainbow Health Ontari. My sincere thanks to the organizers for inviting me and to the conference chairs, A. Paul Williams and Janet M. Lum.
Here is a link to the conference: http://www.ryerson.ca/crncc/sexualityandaging.html
I also presented on the topic of senior speed dating at the OCSA Great Ideas Conference held October 22nd. I talked about the challenges and rewards about implementing a senior speed dating event. Former participants were invited to talk about their experience to the audience. Thank you to Henry, Jenna and Tony for coming to share their stories about Companion Connections.
October 28 I flew to Minneapolis to attend Risky Business, a two day conference sponsored by the Minneapolis Association of Senior Workers. I spoke to about 200 people about The NEW Sex Ed 101:Seniors, Sex and STDs in the 21st Century. I had the audience laughing and enjoying themselves while learning essential tips and techniques for speaking to their older clients about safer sex and health sexuality. I had just enough time after the condom demonstration to rush to the airport to catch the last flight to Toronto! It was a successful event and many thanks to the conference organizers for inviting me. I always welcome every opportunity to speak about sex!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Are you ready to date again?
Another piece by Chelsea Kaplan delves into the trials and tribulations of dating for older adults and seniors. It can be like landing on an alien planet, particularly if one has been in a long term monogamous relationship. There may have been a divorce or loss of spouse and you may feel that you'll never find a new companion. It can take a long time to heal from past relationships. Remember: Don't rush into anything. Take it slow and make sure you're ready and motivated to meet new people. This can be the beginning of an exciting new chapter in your life.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
------------------
Are you ready to date again?
By Chelsea Kaplan
Whether you’ve endured a divorce or the loss of a spouse, deciding on the right time to begin dating again can be difficult. Often it’s emotional baggage that’s keeping you from jumping back into the dating pool, but reasons like lack of confidence and feelings of guilt can also serve as roadblocks on the path to finding new love. How do you choose the right time to take another shot at finding The One? Below, Carole Brody Fleet, author of Widows Wear Stilettos, offers her tips on when you can best gauge the right time to begin dating again.
1. When you have recovered from your grief
“Immediately following divorce or death, at the height of grief or during what may very well be the worst time in your life is not the time to jump headlong back into dating,” Fleet says. Like it or not, before resuming dating, you must first heal from the pain of the divorce or death of your spouse. Unfortunately, such recovery doesn’t occur overnight. “Before dating again, take the time and patience to sufficiently recover from the trauma that you have experienced and to get to know yourself as a single person,” Fleet recommends. Don’t let other people’s urgings that it’s time to get back out there again sway you. Trust yourself that you’ll know when the time is right.
2. When you realize that you are not guilty
When you have been functioning in life as one-half of a couple, you become conditioned to thinking of yourself in those terms, Fleet says. “It’s jarring when all of sudden — whether by divorce or by death — you are single, yet your emotional being is still in the ‘one-half of a couple’ mindset,” she explains. When you find yourself attracted to someone or you make a decision to resume dating, you may feel guilty, almost as if you are cheating on your ex or late spouse, not to mention your children, his family or all of the above.
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While guilt is a perfectly normal emotion to encounter during the healing process, it can nonetheless hold you back from returning to dating. “Your realizing and accepting that your previous relationship has ended and that there is no reason to feel guilty about dating or seeking companionship is a necessary step in the knowledge that you are ready to re-enter the world of dating,” Fleet says.
3. When you’ve let go of your anger
It is absolutely normal to feel angry at whatever circumstances ended your relationship. “Of course you’re going to be angry with an abusive or unfaithful spouse or at the circumstances surrounding a spouse’s death—after all, you’re a good person and you did not deserve this,” Fleet says. Sadly however, Fleet says many choose to stay “in the angry” or “in the bitter” to the point that they are unable to move forward with their lives. “These same people may take this anger out on their children, their friends, their work colleagues and yes, prospective dates as well,” she notes. The resolution of your anger is an important step toward readying yourself for dating again. “When you have made peace with the circumstances that ended your last relationship and you have begun to move forward from that loss into your new life, you are truly ready to begin exploring the world of dating again,” Fleet says.
4. When you’ve left the “ghost of marriage past” in the past
Fleet points out that many people who are widowed or divorced have “selective amnesia” when it comes to their previous relationship: Remembering only the good in the person no longer in their lives, the good times that they had with them and the good memories that they’ll have always. Sometimes, the case is just the opposite, and only bad memories remain. “Avoid using your previous relationship as a ‘yardstick’ against which you are measuring prospective dates—they will not be able to compete,” Fleet cautions. By all means, treasure the wonderful memories that you have and try as best as you can to let go of the painful ones, but before you begin dating again, you must put the ghost of relationships past in its proper place in order to enjoy someone new.”
5. When you’re happy being on your own
Are you content within yourself as a single person, on your own without the necessity of the presence of another person? Being happy by yourself means a contentment to be in your home by yourself—with or without children, and that you have a life that is your own and is fulfilling in its own right, Fleet says. “Do you have your own career, your own hobbies, your own pursuits, your own set of friends with whom you play sports, lunch, drink or dine?” Fleet asks. “When you are content with yourself, you are genuinely ready to begin the dating process again, because you are not simply filling the void that your last partner left behind; you are instead opening your heart and your mind to the possibility of a new relationship.”
6. When you can go out alone and have fun
The “companion” element to being happy on your own is the ability to go out alone and enjoy yourself, Fleet says: “As a society, we are accustomed to either traveling in packs or with a spouse or significant other; however, you must be happy and content with your own company both within your four walls as well as in the outside world before you should begin dating again.” To get to this point of self-sufficiency, Fleet suggests going out to dinner or to a movie by yourself. “Finding this contentment will enable you to make wise decisions in your dating choices and when you do meet that someone special, it will be for all of the right reasons,” she says.
7. When you’re truly emotionally available
According to Fleet, your emotional availability will have everything to do with not only the amount of time that you have spent recovering from your divorce or the death of your spouse, but also your willingness to make yourself emotionally available. “I once dated a man who had not recovered from being broken up with in high school—30 years earlier!” she remembers. “This gentleman made a conscious decision not to make himself emotionally available to anyone else because of a prior bad experience.” Her advice: Ask yourself if you are truly ready for the dating experience and if you are capable of making yourself emotionally available to another. “If you don’t feel quite ready yet, back up and take more time for you, but please don’t take 30 years!” she advises.
8. When you’re capable of trusting again
Nearly everyone has been taken advantage of and otherwise treated shabbily by a former mate. Should we learn from our past experiences in order to avoid repeating history? Definitely. Should we take our past out on our future? Absolutely not, says Fleet: “To make the unilateral decision that ‘All men lie and cheat’ or ‘All women are gold-digging opportunists’ rather unfairly condemns an entire sex because of the actions of a few.” Regardless of your history, you must have the ability to trust others before you begin dating again. If you judge others on the misdeeds and wrongdoings of the last person in your life, Fleet says you’ll be doomed to disappointment on the dating front.
Put all this advice together, and here’s the bottom line: The whole process of re-entering the dating world after divorce or death is rather like testing a bruise to see if it still hurts, Fleet says: “Have you ever had a really nasty, awful-looking bruise? After time, it may look like the bruise is all cleared up, yet when you push on the spot, it still smarts a bit. By the same token, there is a bruise of sorts on your heart as you recover from the loss of your spouse; whether by divorce or by death.” As with a bruise, Fleet advises that from time to time, you push on that spot in your heart. “If it’s still too painful… quit pushing—it means that it’s not time for you to be dating yet!” she says. However, she says that just like with a bruise, eventually that tender spot in your heart does heal—and so will you. “You will know when the time is right if you listen to and trust in yourself,” she asserts.
Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor at thefamilygroove.com. Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.rumymother.blogspot.com.
Source: http://dating.ca.msn.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/en-ca/landing/msnca/articles/article.html&articleid=7550&menuid=1&lid=429&ap=1&TrackingID=525771&BannerID=666611
MCauch
SageHealth Network
------------------
Are you ready to date again?
By Chelsea Kaplan
Whether you’ve endured a divorce or the loss of a spouse, deciding on the right time to begin dating again can be difficult. Often it’s emotional baggage that’s keeping you from jumping back into the dating pool, but reasons like lack of confidence and feelings of guilt can also serve as roadblocks on the path to finding new love. How do you choose the right time to take another shot at finding The One? Below, Carole Brody Fleet, author of Widows Wear Stilettos, offers her tips on when you can best gauge the right time to begin dating again.
1. When you have recovered from your grief
“Immediately following divorce or death, at the height of grief or during what may very well be the worst time in your life is not the time to jump headlong back into dating,” Fleet says. Like it or not, before resuming dating, you must first heal from the pain of the divorce or death of your spouse. Unfortunately, such recovery doesn’t occur overnight. “Before dating again, take the time and patience to sufficiently recover from the trauma that you have experienced and to get to know yourself as a single person,” Fleet recommends. Don’t let other people’s urgings that it’s time to get back out there again sway you. Trust yourself that you’ll know when the time is right.
2. When you realize that you are not guilty
When you have been functioning in life as one-half of a couple, you become conditioned to thinking of yourself in those terms, Fleet says. “It’s jarring when all of sudden — whether by divorce or by death — you are single, yet your emotional being is still in the ‘one-half of a couple’ mindset,” she explains. When you find yourself attracted to someone or you make a decision to resume dating, you may feel guilty, almost as if you are cheating on your ex or late spouse, not to mention your children, his family or all of the above.
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While guilt is a perfectly normal emotion to encounter during the healing process, it can nonetheless hold you back from returning to dating. “Your realizing and accepting that your previous relationship has ended and that there is no reason to feel guilty about dating or seeking companionship is a necessary step in the knowledge that you are ready to re-enter the world of dating,” Fleet says.
3. When you’ve let go of your anger
It is absolutely normal to feel angry at whatever circumstances ended your relationship. “Of course you’re going to be angry with an abusive or unfaithful spouse or at the circumstances surrounding a spouse’s death—after all, you’re a good person and you did not deserve this,” Fleet says. Sadly however, Fleet says many choose to stay “in the angry” or “in the bitter” to the point that they are unable to move forward with their lives. “These same people may take this anger out on their children, their friends, their work colleagues and yes, prospective dates as well,” she notes. The resolution of your anger is an important step toward readying yourself for dating again. “When you have made peace with the circumstances that ended your last relationship and you have begun to move forward from that loss into your new life, you are truly ready to begin exploring the world of dating again,” Fleet says.
4. When you’ve left the “ghost of marriage past” in the past
Fleet points out that many people who are widowed or divorced have “selective amnesia” when it comes to their previous relationship: Remembering only the good in the person no longer in their lives, the good times that they had with them and the good memories that they’ll have always. Sometimes, the case is just the opposite, and only bad memories remain. “Avoid using your previous relationship as a ‘yardstick’ against which you are measuring prospective dates—they will not be able to compete,” Fleet cautions. By all means, treasure the wonderful memories that you have and try as best as you can to let go of the painful ones, but before you begin dating again, you must put the ghost of relationships past in its proper place in order to enjoy someone new.”
5. When you’re happy being on your own
Are you content within yourself as a single person, on your own without the necessity of the presence of another person? Being happy by yourself means a contentment to be in your home by yourself—with or without children, and that you have a life that is your own and is fulfilling in its own right, Fleet says. “Do you have your own career, your own hobbies, your own pursuits, your own set of friends with whom you play sports, lunch, drink or dine?” Fleet asks. “When you are content with yourself, you are genuinely ready to begin the dating process again, because you are not simply filling the void that your last partner left behind; you are instead opening your heart and your mind to the possibility of a new relationship.”
6. When you can go out alone and have fun
The “companion” element to being happy on your own is the ability to go out alone and enjoy yourself, Fleet says: “As a society, we are accustomed to either traveling in packs or with a spouse or significant other; however, you must be happy and content with your own company both within your four walls as well as in the outside world before you should begin dating again.” To get to this point of self-sufficiency, Fleet suggests going out to dinner or to a movie by yourself. “Finding this contentment will enable you to make wise decisions in your dating choices and when you do meet that someone special, it will be for all of the right reasons,” she says.
7. When you’re truly emotionally available
According to Fleet, your emotional availability will have everything to do with not only the amount of time that you have spent recovering from your divorce or the death of your spouse, but also your willingness to make yourself emotionally available. “I once dated a man who had not recovered from being broken up with in high school—30 years earlier!” she remembers. “This gentleman made a conscious decision not to make himself emotionally available to anyone else because of a prior bad experience.” Her advice: Ask yourself if you are truly ready for the dating experience and if you are capable of making yourself emotionally available to another. “If you don’t feel quite ready yet, back up and take more time for you, but please don’t take 30 years!” she advises.
8. When you’re capable of trusting again
Nearly everyone has been taken advantage of and otherwise treated shabbily by a former mate. Should we learn from our past experiences in order to avoid repeating history? Definitely. Should we take our past out on our future? Absolutely not, says Fleet: “To make the unilateral decision that ‘All men lie and cheat’ or ‘All women are gold-digging opportunists’ rather unfairly condemns an entire sex because of the actions of a few.” Regardless of your history, you must have the ability to trust others before you begin dating again. If you judge others on the misdeeds and wrongdoings of the last person in your life, Fleet says you’ll be doomed to disappointment on the dating front.
Put all this advice together, and here’s the bottom line: The whole process of re-entering the dating world after divorce or death is rather like testing a bruise to see if it still hurts, Fleet says: “Have you ever had a really nasty, awful-looking bruise? After time, it may look like the bruise is all cleared up, yet when you push on the spot, it still smarts a bit. By the same token, there is a bruise of sorts on your heart as you recover from the loss of your spouse; whether by divorce or by death.” As with a bruise, Fleet advises that from time to time, you push on that spot in your heart. “If it’s still too painful… quit pushing—it means that it’s not time for you to be dating yet!” she says. However, she says that just like with a bruise, eventually that tender spot in your heart does heal—and so will you. “You will know when the time is right if you listen to and trust in yourself,” she asserts.
Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor at thefamilygroove.com. Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.rumymother.blogspot.com.
Source: http://dating.ca.msn.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/en-ca/landing/msnca/articles/article.html&articleid=7550&menuid=1&lid=429&ap=1&TrackingID=525771&BannerID=666611
Boomers: What do you want from a relationship?
As SageHealth is moving in senior dating and relationships, this on relationships for older adults and seniors. Dating is difficult at any age. There's just a different set of issues involved when people enter the dating waters at 50+.
We know ourselves alot better than we did as teenagers. There is a more stable balance between compatibility and independence and family responsibilities. Read on for some timely advice on looking for love and romance.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
------------------
Boomers: What do you want from a relationship?By Chelsea Kaplan
When you’re dating in midlife, it soon becomes obvious that your — not to mention your date’s — idea of a good relationship has most likely changed since you were first single. Whether it’s that great sex has taken a backseat to great conversation or that desire to start a family has been replaced with a desire to blend families, midlife singles have different priorities when it comes to their idea of what makes a perfect partnership, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author and host of Detroit’s popular “Love Doctor” television and radio programs. Ready for a real-deal midlife relationship? Below, learn the relationship components that she says are most desired by midlife singles looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. You’ll gain great insights into what you should be searching for, too!
1. A perfectly independent person
For many single boomers, finding a mate who is self-sufficient is paramount, says Orbuch. “Singles over 50 who are looking for love are usually turned off by a date who is unable to do things on his or her own or is dependent on others when it comes to performing general household tasks,” she explains. Larry, 57, a retired teacher in Bronxville, NY, remembers recently dating a woman who had never paid her own bills or balanced her own checkbook: “It really surprised me that she had lived her entire life being completely in the dark when it came to managing her finances. These days, I’m looking for someone who’s more independent than that — a woman who doesn’t need me to take care of her.”
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Carol, 61, a social worker in Englewood, NJ, feels similarly: “I’m always surprised at how many men my age can’t cook for themselves or even do their own laundry. I’ve already raised three kids; I’m not interested in ‘mothering’ anyone else. I need a man who is self-sufficient enough to take care of himself, someone who’s looking for a real companion and lover and not a caretaker in the domestic sense of the word.”
2. An understanding of the ex factor
When you’re dating in midlife, there’s a good chance your date’s been married before and, as a result, comes with some strings attached. Because of this, most midlife singles are looking for partners who are willing to take an interest in their kids — or at the very least coexist peacefully with their offspring and, in many circumstances, their ex and former in-laws. Gina, 58, a real estate agent in Bellevue, WA, says it’s vital that a partner accept the fact that her ex and his family are still a big part of her life: “My ex-husband and I actively share custody of our kids, so he and I frequently communicate about them. Additionally, because his parents and I are still close and they are a big part of my kids’ lives, I see them a good amount, too. If the man I date is threatened by this, our relationship won’t last.”
3. More romance, which doesn’t always mean more sex
Midlife singles say their definition of physical or sexual intimacy may have changed as they’ve gotten older, observes Orbuch, noting that touch, affection and other forms of intimacy are equally important to midlife singles. “I’ve had great sex in the past, sure, but getting into relationships that were not fueled by much more than physical passion led me to two divorces,” says Mary, 50, an office manager in Hendersonville, TN. “Now I need more from a guy to feel like we’re really connecting on a meaningful level, or at least one that qualifies itself as relationship-worthy. He’s got to be genuinely affectionate with me — holding my hand, kissing me sweetly and hugging me after a long day to really keep my attention and communicate to me that he loves me. I guess I’ve realized that sex doesn’t mean love and that this other kind of stuff does.”
As men age, they often discover the joys of nonsexual displays of affection too. “I’m all for cuddling these days, certainly in a way that I wasn’t when I was younger,” says Ben, 65, a writer in Hacienda Heights, CA. “Maybe it’s because I’m not the hormonal devil I was in my youth, or maybe because it’s that I’ve realized that establishing a really intimate connection with someone needs to exist in places other than just between the sheets.” While science suggests that a decline in testosterone production accounts for this shift, other doctors chalk it up to a mature man’s ability to better express himself emotionally.
4. Keep it harmonious, please
For many midlife singles, the emotional aftermath of a messy divorce leads them to seek as easy and pleasant a relationship as possible. “Toward the end of my relationship, my wife and I were fighting like cats and dogs, saying really hurtful things to each other. It had become like that movie The War of the Roses. The last thing I wanted was another relationship roller coaster,” says David, 52, a landscaper in Rockville, MD. “The number one quality I’m looking for in a partner is that she’s a caring, warm person.” Robin, 54, an executive assistant in Kansas City, MO, also says that her painful divorce caused her to truly value supportiveness. “My ex and I really battled it out in court; it was very one side against the other. I’ve had enough drama to last a lifetime! What I want is for it to be smooth sailing — none of this fiery stuff.”
Orbuch said she’s heard these types of sentiments repeatedly. “When I speak with singles over 50, they, especially the ones who’ve been divorced, always say they need and want someone who is emotionally mature,” she says. “When pushed to clarify, they laugh and say, ‘You know, someone who isn’t afraid to be loving, kind and understanding.’”
5. Excitement!
Who says excitement is only for the young? “I’m 58, but deep down I feel 35,” says Diane, a real estate agent in Pittsburgh, PA. “I want to meet someone with whom I can have fun and enjoy life. I once dated this guy who just wanted to stay inside and watch CBNC all day. What kind of fun is that? I’ve got a cabin at the lake and I love hiking, mountain biking and kayaking up there. I want to meet someone who will be able to participate in those activities with me.”
Randy, 60, an automobile-dealership owner in Lake Forest, IL, says he’s looking for someone adventurous enough to share his love of exotic travel. “At this point in my life, I’ve already put my kids through school and am now able to travel a lot for pleasure,” he says. “I want to enjoy traveling to all the places I’ve always wanted to see, like Belize to bonefish and Tibet to climb mountains and go on a yoga retreat. In the past, I’ve met ladies who, when I mentioned these ideas, said things like ‘Fishing?’ or ‘I’m too old for mountain climbing!’ I don’t feel too old at all! And it doesn’t have to be that exotic — just trying a new, exotic restaurant is fun. It’s about taking some risks and growing. Now is the best time of your life to do this kind of thing. Savor it!”
Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of The Family Groove and a regular guest on Sirius XM Radio's “Broadminded.” Read more from Chelsea on her blog, “The Momtourage.”
Source: http://dating.ca.msn.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/en-ca/landing/msnca/articles/article.html&articleid=10426&menuid=1&lid=429&ap=1&TrackingID=525771&BannerID=666611
We know ourselves alot better than we did as teenagers. There is a more stable balance between compatibility and independence and family responsibilities. Read on for some timely advice on looking for love and romance.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
------------------
Boomers: What do you want from a relationship?By Chelsea Kaplan
When you’re dating in midlife, it soon becomes obvious that your — not to mention your date’s — idea of a good relationship has most likely changed since you were first single. Whether it’s that great sex has taken a backseat to great conversation or that desire to start a family has been replaced with a desire to blend families, midlife singles have different priorities when it comes to their idea of what makes a perfect partnership, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author and host of Detroit’s popular “Love Doctor” television and radio programs. Ready for a real-deal midlife relationship? Below, learn the relationship components that she says are most desired by midlife singles looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. You’ll gain great insights into what you should be searching for, too!
1. A perfectly independent person
For many single boomers, finding a mate who is self-sufficient is paramount, says Orbuch. “Singles over 50 who are looking for love are usually turned off by a date who is unable to do things on his or her own or is dependent on others when it comes to performing general household tasks,” she explains. Larry, 57, a retired teacher in Bronxville, NY, remembers recently dating a woman who had never paid her own bills or balanced her own checkbook: “It really surprised me that she had lived her entire life being completely in the dark when it came to managing her finances. These days, I’m looking for someone who’s more independent than that — a woman who doesn’t need me to take care of her.”
View photos of singles in your area - FREE
Meet nearby singles - See profiles & pics now
Complete Chemistry's personality quiz & get matches
Carol, 61, a social worker in Englewood, NJ, feels similarly: “I’m always surprised at how many men my age can’t cook for themselves or even do their own laundry. I’ve already raised three kids; I’m not interested in ‘mothering’ anyone else. I need a man who is self-sufficient enough to take care of himself, someone who’s looking for a real companion and lover and not a caretaker in the domestic sense of the word.”
2. An understanding of the ex factor
When you’re dating in midlife, there’s a good chance your date’s been married before and, as a result, comes with some strings attached. Because of this, most midlife singles are looking for partners who are willing to take an interest in their kids — or at the very least coexist peacefully with their offspring and, in many circumstances, their ex and former in-laws. Gina, 58, a real estate agent in Bellevue, WA, says it’s vital that a partner accept the fact that her ex and his family are still a big part of her life: “My ex-husband and I actively share custody of our kids, so he and I frequently communicate about them. Additionally, because his parents and I are still close and they are a big part of my kids’ lives, I see them a good amount, too. If the man I date is threatened by this, our relationship won’t last.”
3. More romance, which doesn’t always mean more sex
Midlife singles say their definition of physical or sexual intimacy may have changed as they’ve gotten older, observes Orbuch, noting that touch, affection and other forms of intimacy are equally important to midlife singles. “I’ve had great sex in the past, sure, but getting into relationships that were not fueled by much more than physical passion led me to two divorces,” says Mary, 50, an office manager in Hendersonville, TN. “Now I need more from a guy to feel like we’re really connecting on a meaningful level, or at least one that qualifies itself as relationship-worthy. He’s got to be genuinely affectionate with me — holding my hand, kissing me sweetly and hugging me after a long day to really keep my attention and communicate to me that he loves me. I guess I’ve realized that sex doesn’t mean love and that this other kind of stuff does.”
As men age, they often discover the joys of nonsexual displays of affection too. “I’m all for cuddling these days, certainly in a way that I wasn’t when I was younger,” says Ben, 65, a writer in Hacienda Heights, CA. “Maybe it’s because I’m not the hormonal devil I was in my youth, or maybe because it’s that I’ve realized that establishing a really intimate connection with someone needs to exist in places other than just between the sheets.” While science suggests that a decline in testosterone production accounts for this shift, other doctors chalk it up to a mature man’s ability to better express himself emotionally.
4. Keep it harmonious, please
For many midlife singles, the emotional aftermath of a messy divorce leads them to seek as easy and pleasant a relationship as possible. “Toward the end of my relationship, my wife and I were fighting like cats and dogs, saying really hurtful things to each other. It had become like that movie The War of the Roses. The last thing I wanted was another relationship roller coaster,” says David, 52, a landscaper in Rockville, MD. “The number one quality I’m looking for in a partner is that she’s a caring, warm person.” Robin, 54, an executive assistant in Kansas City, MO, also says that her painful divorce caused her to truly value supportiveness. “My ex and I really battled it out in court; it was very one side against the other. I’ve had enough drama to last a lifetime! What I want is for it to be smooth sailing — none of this fiery stuff.”
Orbuch said she’s heard these types of sentiments repeatedly. “When I speak with singles over 50, they, especially the ones who’ve been divorced, always say they need and want someone who is emotionally mature,” she says. “When pushed to clarify, they laugh and say, ‘You know, someone who isn’t afraid to be loving, kind and understanding.’”
5. Excitement!
Who says excitement is only for the young? “I’m 58, but deep down I feel 35,” says Diane, a real estate agent in Pittsburgh, PA. “I want to meet someone with whom I can have fun and enjoy life. I once dated this guy who just wanted to stay inside and watch CBNC all day. What kind of fun is that? I’ve got a cabin at the lake and I love hiking, mountain biking and kayaking up there. I want to meet someone who will be able to participate in those activities with me.”
Randy, 60, an automobile-dealership owner in Lake Forest, IL, says he’s looking for someone adventurous enough to share his love of exotic travel. “At this point in my life, I’ve already put my kids through school and am now able to travel a lot for pleasure,” he says. “I want to enjoy traveling to all the places I’ve always wanted to see, like Belize to bonefish and Tibet to climb mountains and go on a yoga retreat. In the past, I’ve met ladies who, when I mentioned these ideas, said things like ‘Fishing?’ or ‘I’m too old for mountain climbing!’ I don’t feel too old at all! And it doesn’t have to be that exotic — just trying a new, exotic restaurant is fun. It’s about taking some risks and growing. Now is the best time of your life to do this kind of thing. Savor it!”
Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of The Family Groove and a regular guest on Sirius XM Radio's “Broadminded.” Read more from Chelsea on her blog, “The Momtourage.”
Source: http://dating.ca.msn.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/en-ca/landing/msnca/articles/article.html&articleid=10426&menuid=1&lid=429&ap=1&TrackingID=525771&BannerID=666611
Sunday, October 18, 2009
SageHealth Network Conference Line Up
SageHealth Network Executive Director, Michele Cauch, will be appearing at several conferences this month presenting on topics covering senior speed dating and senior sexuality. See calendar below:
Monday, October 19, 2009: OACAO Conference(Older Adult Centres' Association)
Doubletree Hotel Airport, Toronto ON
Tuesday, October 20, 2009: Keep on Rockin' Sexuality and Aging Symposium (Canadian Research Network for Care in the Community)
Sheraton Parkway North, Richmond Hill ON
Thursday, October 22, 2009: OCSA Great Ideas Conference (Ontario Community Support Association).
Sheraton Parkway North, Richmond Hill ON
Thursday, October 29, 2009: Risky Business- 35th Annual Fall Aging Conference, Minneapolis Area Senior Workers' Association & St. Paul Senior Workers' Association
Earl Brown Heritage Center, Brooklyn Center MN
Monday, October 19, 2009: OACAO Conference(Older Adult Centres' Association)
Doubletree Hotel Airport, Toronto ON
Tuesday, October 20, 2009: Keep on Rockin' Sexuality and Aging Symposium (Canadian Research Network for Care in the Community)
Sheraton Parkway North, Richmond Hill ON
Thursday, October 22, 2009: OCSA Great Ideas Conference (Ontario Community Support Association).
Sheraton Parkway North, Richmond Hill ON
Thursday, October 29, 2009: Risky Business- 35th Annual Fall Aging Conference, Minneapolis Area Senior Workers' Association & St. Paul Senior Workers' Association
Earl Brown Heritage Center, Brooklyn Center MN
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The CFLE's Bringing Laughs to Sex Ed
By Joy O'Donnell, NSRC director of outreach
Created 10/07/2009 - 14:03
Let's face it: Old school sex ed, which focused on scare tactics and tales of “disease, disaster, and dysfunction” within a clinical presentation format, is so over.
The NSRC and many of our allies—including Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey's Center for Family Life Education [1](CFLE)—are increasingly promoting fresh ways to teach people about sexuality throughout the lifespan. At NSRC we have incorporated film, spoken word, Internet resources, comic books, and board games into sex education in order to engage people of all ages and ensure that the lessons learned actually stick.
But really until now, despite these and other new creative approaches, using humor as a tactic in and of itself hadn’t been explored. That's why I was completely thrilled when I learned of CFLE's 2009 annual conference theme “Using Humor to Teach Sex Ed [2].” I just had to take a few minutes and ask CFLE Director Bill Taverner, What's so funny?
Clearly, as Bill describes below, humor is one more powerful tool in our quest to give nationwide, lifelong sexuality education an A+. Hopefully, this will spark some ideas for your own work, and Bill’s words will inspire you to attend the conference on October 29 [2]!
NSRC: Why did the CFLE Annual Conference choose this year to focus on humor as a strategic approach to sex ed?
Bill Taverner: I think humor is a valuable resource for sexuality educators in any year. Sex ed is often presented in somber terms, whether it’s abstinence-only speakers using scare tactics or other teachers droning on with lectures about various aspects of sexuality. Even some teachers who present sex ed in a positive, comprehensive way would benefit by taking a step back and recognizing that while there is a serious side to sex, there is also a lot about it that is funny.
NSRC: What are some of the challenges and opportunities of using humor in a sex ed classroom? What about using it to teach adults and older adults?
Bill Taverner: While my copresenters, Allyson Sandak and Ashley Generallo, and I were preparing for our plenary session, we were very fortunate to come across someone who had done her dissertation on humor and sex ed. The research of Marcy Vogel greatly informed our presentation. The first thing we learned was actually kind of funny: That conferences on humor are some of the most boring conferences around. Of course we were determined not to have a boring presentation!
Dr. Vogel researched the use of humor in sex ed with sixth graders. One of her most significant findings was that the use of humor increased student comfort with the subject as the sex ed classes progressed. Dr. Vogel also explored the use of “tendentious” (disparaging, put-down) humor and “nontendentious” humor. She found that the use of nontendentious humor facilitated learning to the greatest extent. In short, when teachers used humor in their classes, students learned more than when their teachers taught the subject matter without humor.
Some teachers might avoid using humor because they don’t consider themselves funny. But teachers don’t have to worry about being standup comics! One example of humor that helps students retain information is the use of “comic action”. A teacher might employ this technique by making an exaggerated swimming motion to show how and where sperm travel. Students remember such information because the delivery is out of the ordinary. It catches them off guard and facilitates attentiveness as they await the next such moment.
As for using humor with older adults, my coauthors—Peggy Brick, Jan Lunquist, and Allyson Sandak—and I devoted an entire lesson plan to humor in our book Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter. In that lesson participants listen to examples of jokes about sex and senior citizens. Here’s a sample:
An eighty-five-year-old man tells his doctor that he plans to marry a twenty-five-year-old. The doctor warns him that too much sex could be fatal. The old man replies, “If she dies, she dies!”
After most people laugh we ask participants to examine the joke a little more carefully. Why is it funny? In this process we can explore stereotypes rooted in sex, gender, and aging.
NSRC: Could you share a couple of other examples of how you have used humor to teach sex ed? What were the results?
Bill Taverner: My colleagues at Answer developed an animated interactive learning program with Elizabeth Schroeder doing the voiceover in a funny German accent. (This is another example of comic action.) I am sure that the learning is enhanced because the students will want to continue the activity to see what Elizabeth says next!
Parody and satire provides great opportunities for introducing or exploring different sexual topics. Voluminous examples can be found on television, such as The Colbert Report [3], The Simpsons [4], Saturday Night Live [5], and whatever other comedy shows your audience might be watching. There are plenty of movies, too, such as a number of great scenes in The 40-Year-Old Virgin [6]. The Onion [7] news repeatedly tackles sexual topics, too.
One of my favorite ways to introduce the topic of menstruation is with a funny, ninety second video on YouTube [8] that features singing droplets of blood. Such a video relaxes the class, makes them laugh, before proceeding into a discussion about the mechanics of ovulation and menstruation. For that matter a careful examination of YouTube for sexual topics is a terrific idea for teachers because this is what young people are really watching.
Sometimes humor is intentional and strategic and sometimes it’s accidental. Peggy Brick was once asked what might make a condom fail. She replied, “Well, I suppose if there’s a little prick in it . . .” She was referring, of course, to a puncture, but the students took it the other way and had a good laugh!
NSRC: Are there any existing humor related resources out there for sexuality educators?
Bill Taverner: Humor resources are all at our fingertips: the email jokes we receive (often about sex), comics that can be accessed quickly using “Google Images”, videos on YouTube [9] and Hulu [10].
We also need to recognize students as important allies in using humor in sex ed. Let them laugh, let them be funny! We can explore the subject of sexuality seriously while maintaining a balance between somber and giddy.
We also have the stories we can tell. Elizabeth Schroeder told me once she was buying a series of seemingly unrelated items at Wal-Mart— markers, greeting cards, a bag of chocolates, Play-Doh, and . . . four boxes of condoms. When the checkout person continued to scan the items nonchalantly, Elizabeth stopped her and asked, "Ok, seriously? Aren't you dying to know what I do for a living?" Telling such a story lightens the mood and reminds participants that the presenter recognizes the innate humor in the subject.
Bill Taverner, M.A., is the director of The Center for Family Life Education at Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, editor-in-chief of the American Journal of Sexuality Education [11], and special projects consultant for the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality [12]. He has coauthored many sex ed teaching resources, including Making Sense of Abstinence [13]; Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter; and Sex Ed 101. He has received national awards recognizing his leadership in sexuality education, including AASECT’s first “Schiller Prize” for best workshop using interactive strategies and the “Golden Apple Award,” given by the Association for Planned Parenthood Leaders in Education.
Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/article/bill_taverner_bringing_laughs_sex_ed_2
Created 10/07/2009 - 14:03
Let's face it: Old school sex ed, which focused on scare tactics and tales of “disease, disaster, and dysfunction” within a clinical presentation format, is so over.
The NSRC and many of our allies—including Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey's Center for Family Life Education [1](CFLE)—are increasingly promoting fresh ways to teach people about sexuality throughout the lifespan. At NSRC we have incorporated film, spoken word, Internet resources, comic books, and board games into sex education in order to engage people of all ages and ensure that the lessons learned actually stick.
But really until now, despite these and other new creative approaches, using humor as a tactic in and of itself hadn’t been explored. That's why I was completely thrilled when I learned of CFLE's 2009 annual conference theme “Using Humor to Teach Sex Ed [2].” I just had to take a few minutes and ask CFLE Director Bill Taverner, What's so funny?
Clearly, as Bill describes below, humor is one more powerful tool in our quest to give nationwide, lifelong sexuality education an A+. Hopefully, this will spark some ideas for your own work, and Bill’s words will inspire you to attend the conference on October 29 [2]!
NSRC: Why did the CFLE Annual Conference choose this year to focus on humor as a strategic approach to sex ed?
Bill Taverner: I think humor is a valuable resource for sexuality educators in any year. Sex ed is often presented in somber terms, whether it’s abstinence-only speakers using scare tactics or other teachers droning on with lectures about various aspects of sexuality. Even some teachers who present sex ed in a positive, comprehensive way would benefit by taking a step back and recognizing that while there is a serious side to sex, there is also a lot about it that is funny.
NSRC: What are some of the challenges and opportunities of using humor in a sex ed classroom? What about using it to teach adults and older adults?
Bill Taverner: While my copresenters, Allyson Sandak and Ashley Generallo, and I were preparing for our plenary session, we were very fortunate to come across someone who had done her dissertation on humor and sex ed. The research of Marcy Vogel greatly informed our presentation. The first thing we learned was actually kind of funny: That conferences on humor are some of the most boring conferences around. Of course we were determined not to have a boring presentation!
Dr. Vogel researched the use of humor in sex ed with sixth graders. One of her most significant findings was that the use of humor increased student comfort with the subject as the sex ed classes progressed. Dr. Vogel also explored the use of “tendentious” (disparaging, put-down) humor and “nontendentious” humor. She found that the use of nontendentious humor facilitated learning to the greatest extent. In short, when teachers used humor in their classes, students learned more than when their teachers taught the subject matter without humor.
Some teachers might avoid using humor because they don’t consider themselves funny. But teachers don’t have to worry about being standup comics! One example of humor that helps students retain information is the use of “comic action”. A teacher might employ this technique by making an exaggerated swimming motion to show how and where sperm travel. Students remember such information because the delivery is out of the ordinary. It catches them off guard and facilitates attentiveness as they await the next such moment.
As for using humor with older adults, my coauthors—Peggy Brick, Jan Lunquist, and Allyson Sandak—and I devoted an entire lesson plan to humor in our book Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter. In that lesson participants listen to examples of jokes about sex and senior citizens. Here’s a sample:
An eighty-five-year-old man tells his doctor that he plans to marry a twenty-five-year-old. The doctor warns him that too much sex could be fatal. The old man replies, “If she dies, she dies!”
After most people laugh we ask participants to examine the joke a little more carefully. Why is it funny? In this process we can explore stereotypes rooted in sex, gender, and aging.
NSRC: Could you share a couple of other examples of how you have used humor to teach sex ed? What were the results?
Bill Taverner: My colleagues at Answer developed an animated interactive learning program with Elizabeth Schroeder doing the voiceover in a funny German accent. (This is another example of comic action.) I am sure that the learning is enhanced because the students will want to continue the activity to see what Elizabeth says next!
Parody and satire provides great opportunities for introducing or exploring different sexual topics. Voluminous examples can be found on television, such as The Colbert Report [3], The Simpsons [4], Saturday Night Live [5], and whatever other comedy shows your audience might be watching. There are plenty of movies, too, such as a number of great scenes in The 40-Year-Old Virgin [6]. The Onion [7] news repeatedly tackles sexual topics, too.
One of my favorite ways to introduce the topic of menstruation is with a funny, ninety second video on YouTube [8] that features singing droplets of blood. Such a video relaxes the class, makes them laugh, before proceeding into a discussion about the mechanics of ovulation and menstruation. For that matter a careful examination of YouTube for sexual topics is a terrific idea for teachers because this is what young people are really watching.
Sometimes humor is intentional and strategic and sometimes it’s accidental. Peggy Brick was once asked what might make a condom fail. She replied, “Well, I suppose if there’s a little prick in it . . .” She was referring, of course, to a puncture, but the students took it the other way and had a good laugh!
NSRC: Are there any existing humor related resources out there for sexuality educators?
Bill Taverner: Humor resources are all at our fingertips: the email jokes we receive (often about sex), comics that can be accessed quickly using “Google Images”, videos on YouTube [9] and Hulu [10].
We also need to recognize students as important allies in using humor in sex ed. Let them laugh, let them be funny! We can explore the subject of sexuality seriously while maintaining a balance between somber and giddy.
We also have the stories we can tell. Elizabeth Schroeder told me once she was buying a series of seemingly unrelated items at Wal-Mart— markers, greeting cards, a bag of chocolates, Play-Doh, and . . . four boxes of condoms. When the checkout person continued to scan the items nonchalantly, Elizabeth stopped her and asked, "Ok, seriously? Aren't you dying to know what I do for a living?" Telling such a story lightens the mood and reminds participants that the presenter recognizes the innate humor in the subject.
Bill Taverner, M.A., is the director of The Center for Family Life Education at Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, editor-in-chief of the American Journal of Sexuality Education [11], and special projects consultant for the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality [12]. He has coauthored many sex ed teaching resources, including Making Sense of Abstinence [13]; Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter; and Sex Ed 101. He has received national awards recognizing his leadership in sexuality education, including AASECT’s first “Schiller Prize” for best workshop using interactive strategies and the “Golden Apple Award,” given by the Association for Planned Parenthood Leaders in Education.
Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/article/bill_taverner_bringing_laughs_sex_ed_2
Adventures in Adult Sex Education
By Amanda Robb from O, The Oprah Magazine, July 2009
With memories of mortifying class discussions led by the gym teacher, what grown-up in her right mind would sign up for another round of sex ed? Turns out, lots of them. Only this time, the lessons are intimate, the questions are provocative, and the homework is electrifying.
Nine middle-aged men and women are sitting in a circle in a cluttered, colorful classroom in a church annex in Austin. Judith, the oldest, is an artist, and her long, curly gray hair is piled into a messy halo atop her head. Larry is a gregarious man who works for the U.S. government. Elizabeth, an information technology manager at a local government agency, is an athletic woman, efficient in her movements. Her husband, Eugene, sitting nearby, was raised in Spain and has handsome features and courtly manners.
The teacher, Barbara Tuttle, begins class. "Touch one of your hands with the other," she says. "Feel the smoothness and roughness of all the various parts, the places where it's dry or moist." Some of the students close their eyes as they follow her instructions. Small smiles play on their lips. Tuttle's birdlike mouth breaks into a huge grin. "Congratulations," she says. "You all just masturbated. And in public!"
Next Tuttle, a retired sex therapist, asks the students about the experience of mindfully touching themselves: "How did it feel? Was that pleasant?"
"It made me wish someone else were touching me," Elizabeth says.
"It was just nice to be touched at all," says Judith.
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So begins the fifth session of Our Whole Lives (OWL): Sexuality Education for Adults, at the First Unitarian Church of Austin. Tonight's class is one of 14 in the seven-month course, which is the result of an initiative of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) and the United Church of Christ (UCC). Since 1998 the institutions have coproduced sex education materials for children ages 5 to 18; as church leadership reexamined the curricula, they noticed a need for age-appropriate material for grown-ups.
"We see sexuality as a very important part of the human experience that is lifelong," says Janet Hayes, public relations director for the UUA. "That's why we named our program Our Whole Lives. Your sexuality doesn't end after you stop having babies or get divorced or after you turn 60. It is who we are in our core. We feel it has to be integrated into our spirituality because, for us, spirituality is about wholeness." So in 2008, the churches -- which together have about 6,600 U.S. congregations and 1.4 million members -- introduced classes for adults 18 to 35. (In the past ten years, it's estimated, more than 40,000 children, young adults, and adults have taken at least one OWL class.)
How to talk to your partner about sex
Michael Tino, a Unitarian Universalist minister with a PhD in cell biology, cowrote the young adult OWL curriculum and understands why the adult classes have proved popular. "You can have the best high school sexuality curriculum in the world," he says, "but a lot of critical issues are not going to be addressed in those classes: How do I enjoy my sexuality if I've lost a breast to cancer? How do I manage being a parent and a sexual person? Can I feel sexually satisfied if I don't have a life partner?"
There's one simple reason those questions aren't tackled, Tino says. "Teenagers don't have them yet. Most of what affects our sexuality happens in adulthood -- long-term relationships, breakups, parenthood, illness, sheer exhaustion from managing life."
Although the courses the churches prepared were aimed at adults in their 20s to early 30s, to the organizers' surprise, middle-aged parishioners have stampeded the discussion-based program. Students in tonight's class, for instance, are in their late 40s to mid-60s.
After wrapping up the discussion about self-touch, during which Tuttle encourages students to "think about sensuality broadly and not shut off the pleasure of getting to know the whole body," she and her coteacher, Michael West, an economic development project manager in the Texas A&M University system, explain the next exercise: a sexuality timeline. (OWL facilitators are trained over three days, and the program is typically team taught, usually by a woman and a man.)
Thirty feet of newsprint is rolled out across two long tables. Red and black pens are placed on each table. The men are assigned one sheet; the women, the other. The students are asked to write down sexual experiences in chronological order, using the black pen for those that were in their control (such as a first kiss) and the red pen for those that were not (such as getting their first period).
The women are a flurry of activity, practically tripping over each other to scribble -- "played doctor," "found a pubic hair," "menstruation," "kissed a boy," "kissed a girl," "touched by a cousin," "fell in love," "lost my virginity," "had an abortion," "had a baby," "breasts sagging," "menopause," "discovered sex without love." The men look on and appear intimidated. Finally, Eugene picks up a pen and writes down "first time had sex." The other men slowly begin to join in. Together they manage to write: "accidentally masturbated," "masturbated," "first time had sex," "prostate," and "Viagra."
Tuttle calls time and invites the students to look at the timelines. "What comes up?" she asks.
Judith says the exercise made her realize that one huge thing she can't control about her sexuality is her fading looks. "Like, I'm still looking at 40-year-old men," Judith says, "but they're not looking back." A few of the other women agree.
Elizabeth stares at them as if they're insane. "I love being middle-aged," she says.
The women return her you're-out-of-your-mind look, so she explains: "When I was young, I'd see these older women and they just seemed as if they had confidence and were wise -- and more comfortable in their skin. I'm much more comfortable in my skin today than I was at 30, 25, 20, and definitely 15."
"How?" asks Judith.
Elizabeth thinks for a minute. "I didn't get any mileage out of being cute when I was young. Maybe that's the positive side of not being cute or flirty at 20 -- when you don't get that attention at 45, you haven't lost anything."
A little later, Judith admits that she can think of a few good things that result from getting older. "My husband of 13 years always accused me of being frigid because I never had an orgasm with him," she says. "After we split up, I definitely learned I wasn't frigid. Which was a relief. Which was fun."
The women marvel that virtually all of them have had distressful sexual experiences. One says her sex life was "messy," explaining that she means nonlinear. "I was always a little ashamed because I didn't do the perfect progression of first kiss, go steady, first love, first sex," she says. "It's nice to see that all the women were a littleout of order."
She turns to the men and asks if they ever felt that way. One says men don't think about sex in those terms. "Especially for young men, sex is very goal oriented," he says. "Get a kiss, get a girlfriend, get laid."
Larry agrees. In fact, he later explains, that's why he signed up for the course with his wife of 15 years. "We're past the Kama Sutra part of life," Larry says. "You want to—you need to—broaden the definition of sex. Like the other night, my wife was singing to me, and I said, 'Oh, you're making love to me.'"
One of the first pilot classes for the OWL program took place in Boston three years ago. Several of the participants say that the course lessons were not only useful but surprising. Sylvie*, a 35-year-old medical counselor, signed up for the class after seeing it advertised in the church bulletin. Speaking from her home near Boston, she explains that she'd always felt fortunate to have what she considered healthy feelings about her sexuality.
"My dad was a general practitioner and my mom was a counselor, and they were very open with my brother and me growing up," she says. Her parents didn't shy away from explaining things, and kept books like Our Bodies, Ourselves and The Joy of Sex in the house.
But in 2005, Sylvie and her husband began struggling with infertility. "It took all the joy out of sex," Sylvie says now. "We were always trying to get pregnant." So she signed up, with the hope of refiling sex under "pleasure" instead of "work" in her brain.
How far would you go to conceive?
The first few workshops turned out to be exactly what Sylvie was looking for. Jane Detwiler, a certified sexuality educator, and her cofacilitator led the group through "anatomy of pleasure" and "understanding sexual response" exercises. Contacted recently at her office, Detwiler says many people learn about the reproductive capacity of sexual organs in traditional sex ed, but not the "pleasure capacity."
She says that despite the sexualization of our culture, many of her students don't know what normal genitals look like, and she has discovered that loads of women worry that theirs are abnormal or ugly. In Sylvie's class, Detwiler used diagrams and photographs to explain that the truth is, of course, that there's a variety of "normal," as wide ranging as human faces.
Her students also discussed the parts of the body besides the genitals that are wired for sexual response—skin, lips, breasts, nipples, tongue, hands, brain. Then Detwiler pulled out a model of a penis and the "Wondrous Vulva Puppet." She had labels ready (clitoris, perineum, vagina, glans, PC muscle) and asked volunteers to place them correctly. As students moved through the lesson, they talked about how the different parts contribute to pleasure.
Next, the instructors asked the students to compare the Masters and Johnson linear model of sexual response—excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution—to a circular model of mutual pleasure. To explain the idea, Detwiler drew a large circle on newsprint and asked students to think of all sorts of sexy, fun activities and list them around the circle.
The students came up with "caress, oral sex, kiss, massage, lubrication, talking, fondling, phone sex, kiss again, snuggle." In a circular model, Detwiler pointed out, partners can start or stop sensual activity anytime they want, and the activities don't necessarily lead to orgasm.
Sylvie says that some students thought that type of sex would be an exercise in frustration, but others said they could imagine times in their lives when those options would work—when they were not ready to have sex with a new partner, when they were too tired to have intercourse with their current partner, when they were trying to liven things up with a longtime lover.
After most classes, Sylvie came home and described what she had learned to her husband (who did not attend, because the course was something she wanted to do on her own). "Oh, you know," she'd say at the end of each night's summary, "that reminds me. Let's have sex just for fun."
3 no-fail relationship tune-ups
Then a few sessions later came the "values voting" game.
During this exercise, the instructors asked the class to envision a line on the floor, with one end representing "I strongly agree" and the opposite end signaling "I strongly disagree." Then Detwiler read statements, directing students to stand on the line in a position that represented their values.
Detwiler called out things like "It is more fulfilling to be free of commitment than committed" and "If I made vows to my partner during a marriage or commitment ceremony, I would stick to them no matter what." Each person explained why they stood where they did and moved if someone said something to change their mind. About midway through the game, Detwiler said: "Viewing pornography is not healthy."
Sylvie stepped to a place she considered completely noncontroversial. The "sort of agree" spot on the line. "I'd gone to very progressive summer camps when I was a teenager, and a lot of my counselors were strong feminists," she says. "I guess I'd just gotten the message that pornography was exploitative of women." Sylvie did not boycott newsstands that carried Playboy or refuse to stay in hotels that offer adult pay-per-view. She didn't consider herself an extremist, so she figured she'd have plenty of company at her spot.
She was amazed to see that most of her classmates—each a very likable, not-perverse-seeming person, in Sylvie's opinion—were in the "sort of disagree" to "strongly disagree" part of the line. They explained that yes, pornography could be exploitative, but it could also be a safe form of fantasy.
Sylvie went home and told her husband the news.
"The porn I have is on my computer," he said. For the second time that evening, Sylvie says, she was shocked. Her husband said that he looked at it every few weeks; she asked if he could show it to her. He did. Sylvie was surprised to find some of it turned her on.
"I thought married men who look at pornography must be unhappy with their spouses," Sylvie says. "But my husband said, 'No, sometimes when I feel like being sexual I just feel like being alone.' And I thought about that. And I thought, 'Well, sometimes when I want to be sexual I want to be alone, too. For me, that doesn't involve porn, but if it does for him, so be it.'"
Over the next few weeks, as she discussed the subject more with her husband and her classmates, her opinion changed. "My parents had told us that smoking was bad," she says. "So my brother came to think that people who smoked were bad. I did a similar thing with pornography. I still don't think pornography is a great thing for women, but now I don't think people who look at it necessarily want to exploit them."
Another member of this pilot class, Kim, then 35, had been happily married for more than a decade; she had even taught the OWL classes to middle school students for three years. "I was functioning well," she says, on the phone from Framingham, Massachusetts.
"But deep down, I still had some weird, mixed-up feelings about sex left over from my childhood." Her parents had divorced when she was 3. "Afterward my mother was very free with her sexuality," Kim remembers. "I would hear a lot, and the sounds scared and confused me. I'd say, 'Mom, what are you doing?' She'd say, 'Kissing.' Well, I knew that wasn't it. I signed up for the adult OWL course to keep peeling back the layers, to keep getting better, healthier, happier."
The early sessions confirmed for her that she needed to deal with free-floating shame around her sexuality. In the same workshop that featured the "anatomy of pleasure" exercise (identifying body parts), the instructors led them through the "pleasure pinwheel" game. In this lesson, students arrange themselves in two concentric circles, with each person in the inner ring facing a partner in the outer ring.
One of the instructors asks questions regarding the messages students have received about sexual pleasure from their parents, schools, peers, and lovers. The students have one minute to give their answer to the person facing them; then the outer circle shifts one place. By the end of the exercise, Kim had a better sense of the messages she'd received throughout her life—many dating to childhood—and she began to see that the ones that made her feel the worst related to her libido, which was stronger than her husband's.
"There wasn't one moment in the class when I said, 'Wow, amazing, I'm okay, and [my classmates] are okay about my wanting to have sex more often than my spouse,'" Kim says. "But gradually, over 14 sessions, talking and talking and talking about how weird and wildly varied sexuality is for people, you get to feeling more and more normal yourself."
"Often the question behind a question in sexuality education," Detwiler says, "is 'Am I normal?'"
Although the unitarian universalist and UCC churches are among the leading organizations promoting adult sex education, they aren't alone. The U.S. government is in the field, too. In 2005 Congress passed an act that provides $150 million annually for healthy marriage and responsible fatherhood initiatives.
So far the government has paid to educate more than 290,000 Americans on the how-tos of building and maintaining relationships. One popular program that receives federal funding is a course called It's All About M.E. (Marriage Education), which is given in hospitals and community centers, as well as at the army base at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The eight-hour curriculum was a product of WAIT Training, a 17-year-old Colorado-based nonprofit founded by Joneen Mackenzie, RN.
Mackenzie believes that the best and healthiest place for sex is a committed, long-term monogamous relationship, but she agrees with the UUA and UCC churches that sexuality education—especially for adults—is generally less about plumbing than about emotional issues. Because It's All About M.E. courses encourage young adults to wait until marriage to have sex, much of the training is focused on relationship skills.
For instance, participants learn the program's ten keys to successful dating (such as get a life of your own, take it slow, set clear boundaries, engage in healthy responses to conflict, and choose a partner who makes you feel affirmed, inspired, and challenged to be a better person). But they do discuss sexual relationships. It's All About M.E. instructors ask students to reflect on what has influenced their view of sexuality and then offer exercises to help the students imagine alternative ways of being intimate.
For example, in a lesson called Steps of (Physical) Intimacy, students arrange types of contact—eye-to-eye, hand-to-hand, hand-to-waist, face-to-face, French kissing, touching above the waist, etc.—from the least to the most intimate. They discuss the physical, intellectual, social, spiritual, and financial consequences of doing the steps too quickly or out of order.
Mackenzie says the All About M.E. curriculum includes sex education because couples who have satisfying sex lives have stronger, healthier marriages. "When you're talking about adult relationships," she says, "you're talking about sexuality, and when you're talking about sexuality, you're talking about adult relationships."
Jessica, 23, who works for a nonprofit in Denver, had attended WAIT Training abstinence workshops in college. When she and her boyfriend got engaged last year, she volunteered to attend the group's pilot program for marriage education. She says it gave them the tools for a happy sex life (both had chosen to be abstinent until marriage).
One hugely important concept they took from the course was discussing sexual issues in nonsexual moments. The idea is to make a potentially fraught conversation less emotional, less likely to hurt feelings. Jessica and her husband have these talks anywhere but the bedroom. "We talk about what we're comfortable doing or not," she says. "How often we want to have sex. What time of day. What feels good and what doesn't."
Jessica thinks the class gave them the skills to deal with conflict before they found themselves tangled up in an argument, as well as a means to explore their sexual desires in a way that felt comfortable. "Knowing how to communicate is empowering," she says.
Back in Austin after the OWL class, a group of students settle in at a nearby diner to discuss the value of the course. "It hasn't solved all my sex problems," says Judith, the lone single student. "It's still very hard to find older guys who don't have a truck full of baggage with them.
But it's been nice to have a place to talk honestly about things that are never talked about. Like how after a certain age you're not touched anymore. Certainly not lovingly. It's just 'Excuse me' if someone bumps into you at the grocery store. It's been nice to talk about my needs and have them taken seriously."
This is why the courses are so popular, says Elizabeth, the happy-to-be-middle-aged student. "There's those almost pornographic women in Sex and the City. There's a Victoria's Secret in nearly every mall." The other women at the table nod in commiseration. "So many TV shows revolve around some sex problem—someone cheats, someone wants someone he can't have.
But no one ever talks about sex in a meaningful way. It's always innuendo. It is always pretending to be about something else," Elizabeth says. Now the men are nodding. "Sexuality is this thing you carry around all the time. It grows and changes—it's part of your health and relationships and your age and your self-image, but our culture likes to talk about it in this really silly, trivial way," she says. "People—especially grown-ups—are sick of it. We want adult conversation about an adult subject."
Her husband, Eugene, gives her a smile, then raises his hand to the waiter and orders another round of drinks.
Amanda Robb is a contributing writer at O
By Amanda Robb from O, The Oprah Magazine, July 2009 © 2009 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Source: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/oprah-article.aspx?cp-documentid=20470594
With memories of mortifying class discussions led by the gym teacher, what grown-up in her right mind would sign up for another round of sex ed? Turns out, lots of them. Only this time, the lessons are intimate, the questions are provocative, and the homework is electrifying.
Nine middle-aged men and women are sitting in a circle in a cluttered, colorful classroom in a church annex in Austin. Judith, the oldest, is an artist, and her long, curly gray hair is piled into a messy halo atop her head. Larry is a gregarious man who works for the U.S. government. Elizabeth, an information technology manager at a local government agency, is an athletic woman, efficient in her movements. Her husband, Eugene, sitting nearby, was raised in Spain and has handsome features and courtly manners.
The teacher, Barbara Tuttle, begins class. "Touch one of your hands with the other," she says. "Feel the smoothness and roughness of all the various parts, the places where it's dry or moist." Some of the students close their eyes as they follow her instructions. Small smiles play on their lips. Tuttle's birdlike mouth breaks into a huge grin. "Congratulations," she says. "You all just masturbated. And in public!"
Next Tuttle, a retired sex therapist, asks the students about the experience of mindfully touching themselves: "How did it feel? Was that pleasant?"
"It made me wish someone else were touching me," Elizabeth says.
"It was just nice to be touched at all," says Judith.
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So begins the fifth session of Our Whole Lives (OWL): Sexuality Education for Adults, at the First Unitarian Church of Austin. Tonight's class is one of 14 in the seven-month course, which is the result of an initiative of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) and the United Church of Christ (UCC). Since 1998 the institutions have coproduced sex education materials for children ages 5 to 18; as church leadership reexamined the curricula, they noticed a need for age-appropriate material for grown-ups.
"We see sexuality as a very important part of the human experience that is lifelong," says Janet Hayes, public relations director for the UUA. "That's why we named our program Our Whole Lives. Your sexuality doesn't end after you stop having babies or get divorced or after you turn 60. It is who we are in our core. We feel it has to be integrated into our spirituality because, for us, spirituality is about wholeness." So in 2008, the churches -- which together have about 6,600 U.S. congregations and 1.4 million members -- introduced classes for adults 18 to 35. (In the past ten years, it's estimated, more than 40,000 children, young adults, and adults have taken at least one OWL class.)
How to talk to your partner about sex
Michael Tino, a Unitarian Universalist minister with a PhD in cell biology, cowrote the young adult OWL curriculum and understands why the adult classes have proved popular. "You can have the best high school sexuality curriculum in the world," he says, "but a lot of critical issues are not going to be addressed in those classes: How do I enjoy my sexuality if I've lost a breast to cancer? How do I manage being a parent and a sexual person? Can I feel sexually satisfied if I don't have a life partner?"
There's one simple reason those questions aren't tackled, Tino says. "Teenagers don't have them yet. Most of what affects our sexuality happens in adulthood -- long-term relationships, breakups, parenthood, illness, sheer exhaustion from managing life."
Although the courses the churches prepared were aimed at adults in their 20s to early 30s, to the organizers' surprise, middle-aged parishioners have stampeded the discussion-based program. Students in tonight's class, for instance, are in their late 40s to mid-60s.
After wrapping up the discussion about self-touch, during which Tuttle encourages students to "think about sensuality broadly and not shut off the pleasure of getting to know the whole body," she and her coteacher, Michael West, an economic development project manager in the Texas A&M University system, explain the next exercise: a sexuality timeline. (OWL facilitators are trained over three days, and the program is typically team taught, usually by a woman and a man.)
Thirty feet of newsprint is rolled out across two long tables. Red and black pens are placed on each table. The men are assigned one sheet; the women, the other. The students are asked to write down sexual experiences in chronological order, using the black pen for those that were in their control (such as a first kiss) and the red pen for those that were not (such as getting their first period).
The women are a flurry of activity, practically tripping over each other to scribble -- "played doctor," "found a pubic hair," "menstruation," "kissed a boy," "kissed a girl," "touched by a cousin," "fell in love," "lost my virginity," "had an abortion," "had a baby," "breasts sagging," "menopause," "discovered sex without love." The men look on and appear intimidated. Finally, Eugene picks up a pen and writes down "first time had sex." The other men slowly begin to join in. Together they manage to write: "accidentally masturbated," "masturbated," "first time had sex," "prostate," and "Viagra."
Tuttle calls time and invites the students to look at the timelines. "What comes up?" she asks.
Judith says the exercise made her realize that one huge thing she can't control about her sexuality is her fading looks. "Like, I'm still looking at 40-year-old men," Judith says, "but they're not looking back." A few of the other women agree.
Elizabeth stares at them as if they're insane. "I love being middle-aged," she says.
The women return her you're-out-of-your-mind look, so she explains: "When I was young, I'd see these older women and they just seemed as if they had confidence and were wise -- and more comfortable in their skin. I'm much more comfortable in my skin today than I was at 30, 25, 20, and definitely 15."
"How?" asks Judith.
Elizabeth thinks for a minute. "I didn't get any mileage out of being cute when I was young. Maybe that's the positive side of not being cute or flirty at 20 -- when you don't get that attention at 45, you haven't lost anything."
A little later, Judith admits that she can think of a few good things that result from getting older. "My husband of 13 years always accused me of being frigid because I never had an orgasm with him," she says. "After we split up, I definitely learned I wasn't frigid. Which was a relief. Which was fun."
The women marvel that virtually all of them have had distressful sexual experiences. One says her sex life was "messy," explaining that she means nonlinear. "I was always a little ashamed because I didn't do the perfect progression of first kiss, go steady, first love, first sex," she says. "It's nice to see that all the women were a littleout of order."
She turns to the men and asks if they ever felt that way. One says men don't think about sex in those terms. "Especially for young men, sex is very goal oriented," he says. "Get a kiss, get a girlfriend, get laid."
Larry agrees. In fact, he later explains, that's why he signed up for the course with his wife of 15 years. "We're past the Kama Sutra part of life," Larry says. "You want to—you need to—broaden the definition of sex. Like the other night, my wife was singing to me, and I said, 'Oh, you're making love to me.'"
One of the first pilot classes for the OWL program took place in Boston three years ago. Several of the participants say that the course lessons were not only useful but surprising. Sylvie*, a 35-year-old medical counselor, signed up for the class after seeing it advertised in the church bulletin. Speaking from her home near Boston, she explains that she'd always felt fortunate to have what she considered healthy feelings about her sexuality.
"My dad was a general practitioner and my mom was a counselor, and they were very open with my brother and me growing up," she says. Her parents didn't shy away from explaining things, and kept books like Our Bodies, Ourselves and The Joy of Sex in the house.
But in 2005, Sylvie and her husband began struggling with infertility. "It took all the joy out of sex," Sylvie says now. "We were always trying to get pregnant." So she signed up, with the hope of refiling sex under "pleasure" instead of "work" in her brain.
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The first few workshops turned out to be exactly what Sylvie was looking for. Jane Detwiler, a certified sexuality educator, and her cofacilitator led the group through "anatomy of pleasure" and "understanding sexual response" exercises. Contacted recently at her office, Detwiler says many people learn about the reproductive capacity of sexual organs in traditional sex ed, but not the "pleasure capacity."
She says that despite the sexualization of our culture, many of her students don't know what normal genitals look like, and she has discovered that loads of women worry that theirs are abnormal or ugly. In Sylvie's class, Detwiler used diagrams and photographs to explain that the truth is, of course, that there's a variety of "normal," as wide ranging as human faces.
Her students also discussed the parts of the body besides the genitals that are wired for sexual response—skin, lips, breasts, nipples, tongue, hands, brain. Then Detwiler pulled out a model of a penis and the "Wondrous Vulva Puppet." She had labels ready (clitoris, perineum, vagina, glans, PC muscle) and asked volunteers to place them correctly. As students moved through the lesson, they talked about how the different parts contribute to pleasure.
Next, the instructors asked the students to compare the Masters and Johnson linear model of sexual response—excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution—to a circular model of mutual pleasure. To explain the idea, Detwiler drew a large circle on newsprint and asked students to think of all sorts of sexy, fun activities and list them around the circle.
The students came up with "caress, oral sex, kiss, massage, lubrication, talking, fondling, phone sex, kiss again, snuggle." In a circular model, Detwiler pointed out, partners can start or stop sensual activity anytime they want, and the activities don't necessarily lead to orgasm.
Sylvie says that some students thought that type of sex would be an exercise in frustration, but others said they could imagine times in their lives when those options would work—when they were not ready to have sex with a new partner, when they were too tired to have intercourse with their current partner, when they were trying to liven things up with a longtime lover.
After most classes, Sylvie came home and described what she had learned to her husband (who did not attend, because the course was something she wanted to do on her own). "Oh, you know," she'd say at the end of each night's summary, "that reminds me. Let's have sex just for fun."
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Then a few sessions later came the "values voting" game.
During this exercise, the instructors asked the class to envision a line on the floor, with one end representing "I strongly agree" and the opposite end signaling "I strongly disagree." Then Detwiler read statements, directing students to stand on the line in a position that represented their values.
Detwiler called out things like "It is more fulfilling to be free of commitment than committed" and "If I made vows to my partner during a marriage or commitment ceremony, I would stick to them no matter what." Each person explained why they stood where they did and moved if someone said something to change their mind. About midway through the game, Detwiler said: "Viewing pornography is not healthy."
Sylvie stepped to a place she considered completely noncontroversial. The "sort of agree" spot on the line. "I'd gone to very progressive summer camps when I was a teenager, and a lot of my counselors were strong feminists," she says. "I guess I'd just gotten the message that pornography was exploitative of women." Sylvie did not boycott newsstands that carried Playboy or refuse to stay in hotels that offer adult pay-per-view. She didn't consider herself an extremist, so she figured she'd have plenty of company at her spot.
She was amazed to see that most of her classmates—each a very likable, not-perverse-seeming person, in Sylvie's opinion—were in the "sort of disagree" to "strongly disagree" part of the line. They explained that yes, pornography could be exploitative, but it could also be a safe form of fantasy.
Sylvie went home and told her husband the news.
"The porn I have is on my computer," he said. For the second time that evening, Sylvie says, she was shocked. Her husband said that he looked at it every few weeks; she asked if he could show it to her. He did. Sylvie was surprised to find some of it turned her on.
"I thought married men who look at pornography must be unhappy with their spouses," Sylvie says. "But my husband said, 'No, sometimes when I feel like being sexual I just feel like being alone.' And I thought about that. And I thought, 'Well, sometimes when I want to be sexual I want to be alone, too. For me, that doesn't involve porn, but if it does for him, so be it.'"
Over the next few weeks, as she discussed the subject more with her husband and her classmates, her opinion changed. "My parents had told us that smoking was bad," she says. "So my brother came to think that people who smoked were bad. I did a similar thing with pornography. I still don't think pornography is a great thing for women, but now I don't think people who look at it necessarily want to exploit them."
Another member of this pilot class, Kim, then 35, had been happily married for more than a decade; she had even taught the OWL classes to middle school students for three years. "I was functioning well," she says, on the phone from Framingham, Massachusetts.
"But deep down, I still had some weird, mixed-up feelings about sex left over from my childhood." Her parents had divorced when she was 3. "Afterward my mother was very free with her sexuality," Kim remembers. "I would hear a lot, and the sounds scared and confused me. I'd say, 'Mom, what are you doing?' She'd say, 'Kissing.' Well, I knew that wasn't it. I signed up for the adult OWL course to keep peeling back the layers, to keep getting better, healthier, happier."
The early sessions confirmed for her that she needed to deal with free-floating shame around her sexuality. In the same workshop that featured the "anatomy of pleasure" exercise (identifying body parts), the instructors led them through the "pleasure pinwheel" game. In this lesson, students arrange themselves in two concentric circles, with each person in the inner ring facing a partner in the outer ring.
One of the instructors asks questions regarding the messages students have received about sexual pleasure from their parents, schools, peers, and lovers. The students have one minute to give their answer to the person facing them; then the outer circle shifts one place. By the end of the exercise, Kim had a better sense of the messages she'd received throughout her life—many dating to childhood—and she began to see that the ones that made her feel the worst related to her libido, which was stronger than her husband's.
"There wasn't one moment in the class when I said, 'Wow, amazing, I'm okay, and [my classmates] are okay about my wanting to have sex more often than my spouse,'" Kim says. "But gradually, over 14 sessions, talking and talking and talking about how weird and wildly varied sexuality is for people, you get to feeling more and more normal yourself."
"Often the question behind a question in sexuality education," Detwiler says, "is 'Am I normal?'"
Although the unitarian universalist and UCC churches are among the leading organizations promoting adult sex education, they aren't alone. The U.S. government is in the field, too. In 2005 Congress passed an act that provides $150 million annually for healthy marriage and responsible fatherhood initiatives.
So far the government has paid to educate more than 290,000 Americans on the how-tos of building and maintaining relationships. One popular program that receives federal funding is a course called It's All About M.E. (Marriage Education), which is given in hospitals and community centers, as well as at the army base at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The eight-hour curriculum was a product of WAIT Training, a 17-year-old Colorado-based nonprofit founded by Joneen Mackenzie, RN.
Mackenzie believes that the best and healthiest place for sex is a committed, long-term monogamous relationship, but she agrees with the UUA and UCC churches that sexuality education—especially for adults—is generally less about plumbing than about emotional issues. Because It's All About M.E. courses encourage young adults to wait until marriage to have sex, much of the training is focused on relationship skills.
For instance, participants learn the program's ten keys to successful dating (such as get a life of your own, take it slow, set clear boundaries, engage in healthy responses to conflict, and choose a partner who makes you feel affirmed, inspired, and challenged to be a better person). But they do discuss sexual relationships. It's All About M.E. instructors ask students to reflect on what has influenced their view of sexuality and then offer exercises to help the students imagine alternative ways of being intimate.
For example, in a lesson called Steps of (Physical) Intimacy, students arrange types of contact—eye-to-eye, hand-to-hand, hand-to-waist, face-to-face, French kissing, touching above the waist, etc.—from the least to the most intimate. They discuss the physical, intellectual, social, spiritual, and financial consequences of doing the steps too quickly or out of order.
Mackenzie says the All About M.E. curriculum includes sex education because couples who have satisfying sex lives have stronger, healthier marriages. "When you're talking about adult relationships," she says, "you're talking about sexuality, and when you're talking about sexuality, you're talking about adult relationships."
Jessica, 23, who works for a nonprofit in Denver, had attended WAIT Training abstinence workshops in college. When she and her boyfriend got engaged last year, she volunteered to attend the group's pilot program for marriage education. She says it gave them the tools for a happy sex life (both had chosen to be abstinent until marriage).
One hugely important concept they took from the course was discussing sexual issues in nonsexual moments. The idea is to make a potentially fraught conversation less emotional, less likely to hurt feelings. Jessica and her husband have these talks anywhere but the bedroom. "We talk about what we're comfortable doing or not," she says. "How often we want to have sex. What time of day. What feels good and what doesn't."
Jessica thinks the class gave them the skills to deal with conflict before they found themselves tangled up in an argument, as well as a means to explore their sexual desires in a way that felt comfortable. "Knowing how to communicate is empowering," she says.
Back in Austin after the OWL class, a group of students settle in at a nearby diner to discuss the value of the course. "It hasn't solved all my sex problems," says Judith, the lone single student. "It's still very hard to find older guys who don't have a truck full of baggage with them.
But it's been nice to have a place to talk honestly about things that are never talked about. Like how after a certain age you're not touched anymore. Certainly not lovingly. It's just 'Excuse me' if someone bumps into you at the grocery store. It's been nice to talk about my needs and have them taken seriously."
This is why the courses are so popular, says Elizabeth, the happy-to-be-middle-aged student. "There's those almost pornographic women in Sex and the City. There's a Victoria's Secret in nearly every mall." The other women at the table nod in commiseration. "So many TV shows revolve around some sex problem—someone cheats, someone wants someone he can't have.
But no one ever talks about sex in a meaningful way. It's always innuendo. It is always pretending to be about something else," Elizabeth says. Now the men are nodding. "Sexuality is this thing you carry around all the time. It grows and changes—it's part of your health and relationships and your age and your self-image, but our culture likes to talk about it in this really silly, trivial way," she says. "People—especially grown-ups—are sick of it. We want adult conversation about an adult subject."
Her husband, Eugene, gives her a smile, then raises his hand to the waiter and orders another round of drinks.
Amanda Robb is a contributing writer at O
By Amanda Robb from O, The Oprah Magazine, July 2009 © 2009 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Source: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/oprah-article.aspx?cp-documentid=20470594
Saturday, September 5, 2009
For Common Male Problem, Hope Beyond a Pill
By LESLEY ALDERMAN
The New York Times
August 29, 2009
IF you watch enough television, you’d think that treating erectile dysfunction was as effortless as popping a pill and then whirling your partner around the living room in a romantic dance. Correcting erectile dysfunction, alas, is not so simple — and it can be rather costly. One Viagra pill, for example, the most common way to treat erection problems, costs about $15.
Insurers can be chary of reimbursements. And despite the fact that E.D., as the dysfunction is known, becomes increasingly common after men reach 65, Medicare Part D does not cover drugs for it.
An estimated 30 million men in this country experience erectile dysfunction. Nearly a third of men in their 50s experience E.D., whereas more than half of those in their 60s have the problem.
If you’re hoping to have Viagra-aided sex twice a week, your bill for the entire year could run around $1,500. If you’re fortunate enough to have insurance that covers the medications, your co-pay will be on the high side, around $40 for a one-month supply of six to eight pills — bringing your annual bill to a more manageable $500 or so. There are no generic versions of E.D. meds yet.
Even among the name-brand drugs, which also include Cialis and Levitra, the medications do not work for about half of the men with E.D., says Dr. Ajay Nehra, professor of urology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. He is also president of the Sexual Medicine Society, an association of health care professionals.
And yet, as it turns out there are other treatments for E.D. And some of them are more cost-effective than the brand-name pills advertised on television.
“There is not a man out there that cannot be helped in some way with his E.D. — even if money is an issue,” says Dr. Andrew McCullough, an associate professor of urology and director of Male Sexual Health and Fertility at the Langone Medical Center at New York University.
The first step is to see a doctor who specializes in E.D. (usually a urologist) and have your overall health checked out. If your primary care physician can’t make a recommendation, contact the Sexual Medicine Society and ask for a referral.
In many of cases, E.D. is the sign of an underlying disorder like diabetes or hypertension. In fact, in younger men, erection problems are often the first symptom of cardiovascular disease.
“Erectile problems may show up about three years before a cardiovascular event such as a heart attack or stroke,” says Dr. Ira Sharlip, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, San Francisco.
That’s because plaque will start to clog the small arteries in the penis before the wider coronary arteries. Your doctor will also try to determine whether your E.D. is the result of a psychological issue, in which case he will refer you to a therapist. Depending on your policy, your insurer may cover a set number of visits. (One way for you to check on your own whether your issue may be psychological or physical is try the postage stamp test, also known as nocturnal penile tumescence test.)
By adopting healthier habits, you may be able to improve your overall well-being and restore your erectile function.
“There is increasing evidence that we can reverse erectile dysfunction with lifestyle changes,” says Dr. Drogo K. Montague, director of the Center for Genitourinary Reconstruction in the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute at Cleveland Clinic.
In a recent study of men with E.D., or at risk for developing it, researchers in Italy found that the men could improve their erections by losing weight, improving their diet and exercising more frequently. After two years of significant lifestyle changes, 58 percent of the men had normal erectile function, according to the study, which was published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine in January.
But lifestyle changes, while basically free, can be difficult to make and may take months to take effect. In the meantime, your doctor will probably prescribe a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor, also called a PDE-5 inhibitor, like Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. These drugs enhance the effects of nitric oxide, a chemical that helps to increase blood flow in the penis. The three drugs work in the same way, but differ in how quickly they take effect and how long they last. If the PDE-5 drugs don’t work for you, don’t give up quickly, says Dr. McCullough, who theorizes that “in over 40 percent of drug failures the problem is with the user, not the drug.” Dr. McCullough adds, “it’s important to take these medications as directed, like on a totally empty stomach, rather than a full one, and not less than 60 minutes before sex.”
If the pills don’t work for you, you might want to try self-administered injections of alprostadil, a drug that helps blood vessels expand and facilitates erections. Granted, this may sound onerous, but the shot, which is sold under the brand names Edex and Caverject, is done with a fine needle, feels no worse than a pinprick and produces an erection that can last up to four hours, according to doctors who recommend it.
The shots cost about $35 per injection and are covered by most insurers, but not by Medicare.
But ask your doctor about an injection that’s a cocktail of generic forms of alprostadil, papaverine and phentolamine.
Although this generic combination is not F.D.A.-approved as an E.D. treatment, doctors are legally free to administer it — and both Dr. Sharlip and Dr. McCullough recommend it.
“The generic injections clearly work the best,” Dr. Sharlip said, “and are usually less expensive.”
Another cost-effective option is a vacuum erection device or penis pump. It works like this: you place a tube on the penis and then pump the air out of the tube, which pulls blood into the penis. When the penis is erect, you then put a snug ring around the base to maintain the erection, which lasts long enough to have sex.
The cost for the device, which requires a prescription, can run from $300 to $600, but most insurers and Medicare will cover part of the cost and the device should last for years. Even if you spend $300 out of pocket and use the device once a week, you’ll be spending much less per year than on pills or injections. You can also buy a nonprescription pump online (even Amazon carries some) for as little as $30, Dr. McCullough said.
Finally, if all other treatments fail, you could consider getting penile implants, an effective and permanent solution for chronic E.D. The most common type of implant works through inflation: two cylinders are placed inside the penis and a fluid-filled reservoir is implanted under the abdominal wall or groin muscles; a pump and a deflation valve are placed inside the scrotum. To create an erection, you pump fluid from the reservoir into the cylinders. To deflate the penis, you press the release valve.
Most insurers and Medicare cover the surgery, so your out-of-pocket costs will be minimal. This might be the most cost-effective strategy of all since, according to Dr. Nehra, 80 percent of implants last 10 years.
Original link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/29/health/29patient.html?_r=2&hpw=&pagewanted=print
The New York Times
August 29, 2009
IF you watch enough television, you’d think that treating erectile dysfunction was as effortless as popping a pill and then whirling your partner around the living room in a romantic dance. Correcting erectile dysfunction, alas, is not so simple — and it can be rather costly. One Viagra pill, for example, the most common way to treat erection problems, costs about $15.
Insurers can be chary of reimbursements. And despite the fact that E.D., as the dysfunction is known, becomes increasingly common after men reach 65, Medicare Part D does not cover drugs for it.
An estimated 30 million men in this country experience erectile dysfunction. Nearly a third of men in their 50s experience E.D., whereas more than half of those in their 60s have the problem.
If you’re hoping to have Viagra-aided sex twice a week, your bill for the entire year could run around $1,500. If you’re fortunate enough to have insurance that covers the medications, your co-pay will be on the high side, around $40 for a one-month supply of six to eight pills — bringing your annual bill to a more manageable $500 or so. There are no generic versions of E.D. meds yet.
Even among the name-brand drugs, which also include Cialis and Levitra, the medications do not work for about half of the men with E.D., says Dr. Ajay Nehra, professor of urology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. He is also president of the Sexual Medicine Society, an association of health care professionals.
And yet, as it turns out there are other treatments for E.D. And some of them are more cost-effective than the brand-name pills advertised on television.
“There is not a man out there that cannot be helped in some way with his E.D. — even if money is an issue,” says Dr. Andrew McCullough, an associate professor of urology and director of Male Sexual Health and Fertility at the Langone Medical Center at New York University.
The first step is to see a doctor who specializes in E.D. (usually a urologist) and have your overall health checked out. If your primary care physician can’t make a recommendation, contact the Sexual Medicine Society and ask for a referral.
In many of cases, E.D. is the sign of an underlying disorder like diabetes or hypertension. In fact, in younger men, erection problems are often the first symptom of cardiovascular disease.
“Erectile problems may show up about three years before a cardiovascular event such as a heart attack or stroke,” says Dr. Ira Sharlip, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, San Francisco.
That’s because plaque will start to clog the small arteries in the penis before the wider coronary arteries. Your doctor will also try to determine whether your E.D. is the result of a psychological issue, in which case he will refer you to a therapist. Depending on your policy, your insurer may cover a set number of visits. (One way for you to check on your own whether your issue may be psychological or physical is try the postage stamp test, also known as nocturnal penile tumescence test.)
By adopting healthier habits, you may be able to improve your overall well-being and restore your erectile function.
“There is increasing evidence that we can reverse erectile dysfunction with lifestyle changes,” says Dr. Drogo K. Montague, director of the Center for Genitourinary Reconstruction in the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute at Cleveland Clinic.
In a recent study of men with E.D., or at risk for developing it, researchers in Italy found that the men could improve their erections by losing weight, improving their diet and exercising more frequently. After two years of significant lifestyle changes, 58 percent of the men had normal erectile function, according to the study, which was published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine in January.
But lifestyle changes, while basically free, can be difficult to make and may take months to take effect. In the meantime, your doctor will probably prescribe a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor, also called a PDE-5 inhibitor, like Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. These drugs enhance the effects of nitric oxide, a chemical that helps to increase blood flow in the penis. The three drugs work in the same way, but differ in how quickly they take effect and how long they last. If the PDE-5 drugs don’t work for you, don’t give up quickly, says Dr. McCullough, who theorizes that “in over 40 percent of drug failures the problem is with the user, not the drug.” Dr. McCullough adds, “it’s important to take these medications as directed, like on a totally empty stomach, rather than a full one, and not less than 60 minutes before sex.”
If the pills don’t work for you, you might want to try self-administered injections of alprostadil, a drug that helps blood vessels expand and facilitates erections. Granted, this may sound onerous, but the shot, which is sold under the brand names Edex and Caverject, is done with a fine needle, feels no worse than a pinprick and produces an erection that can last up to four hours, according to doctors who recommend it.
The shots cost about $35 per injection and are covered by most insurers, but not by Medicare.
But ask your doctor about an injection that’s a cocktail of generic forms of alprostadil, papaverine and phentolamine.
Although this generic combination is not F.D.A.-approved as an E.D. treatment, doctors are legally free to administer it — and both Dr. Sharlip and Dr. McCullough recommend it.
“The generic injections clearly work the best,” Dr. Sharlip said, “and are usually less expensive.”
Another cost-effective option is a vacuum erection device or penis pump. It works like this: you place a tube on the penis and then pump the air out of the tube, which pulls blood into the penis. When the penis is erect, you then put a snug ring around the base to maintain the erection, which lasts long enough to have sex.
The cost for the device, which requires a prescription, can run from $300 to $600, but most insurers and Medicare will cover part of the cost and the device should last for years. Even if you spend $300 out of pocket and use the device once a week, you’ll be spending much less per year than on pills or injections. You can also buy a nonprescription pump online (even Amazon carries some) for as little as $30, Dr. McCullough said.
Finally, if all other treatments fail, you could consider getting penile implants, an effective and permanent solution for chronic E.D. The most common type of implant works through inflation: two cylinders are placed inside the penis and a fluid-filled reservoir is implanted under the abdominal wall or groin muscles; a pump and a deflation valve are placed inside the scrotum. To create an erection, you pump fluid from the reservoir into the cylinders. To deflate the penis, you press the release valve.
Most insurers and Medicare cover the surgery, so your out-of-pocket costs will be minimal. This might be the most cost-effective strategy of all since, according to Dr. Nehra, 80 percent of implants last 10 years.
Original link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/29/health/29patient.html?_r=2&hpw=&pagewanted=print
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Seniors' Dating in the New Millennium
For Immediate Release
August 18, 2009
Seniors' Dating in the New Millennium
(Scarborough, ON): Due to overwhelming success, St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre will host another Companion Connections, a social networking event designed for adults 55 years and older on Saturday, September 12, 2009 from 2:00-5:00 pm. A city-wide event, Companion Connections is a unique social event that allows older adults and seniors to meet new people, expand their social network, and make social connections.
As people get older, it becomes more challenging for them to expand their social networks and meet new people. This is especially true for individuals who are widowed, divorced, or isolated. Companion Connections is a fun, relaxed, and safe environment in which participants can meet up to 20 other single seniors in one day.
Companion Connections is modeled on a typical speed dating framework in which participants are given time to get to know each other in a relaxed conversation. Icebreaker questions are available for those who are nervous or shy. Men rotate seats every 6 minutes while women remain seated. If an individual is interested in their conversation partner, he or she will check off the person’s name on their score sheet. Contact information will only be given if both parties have checked off each other’s name. Our April event was successful with 21 matches being made.
St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre’s Executive Director, Larry Burke, acknowledges the need for such programs in facilitating friendships for this audience. “The success of our first Companion Connections program demonstrates the need for these socialization opportunities for older adults and seniors.”
Companion Connections is a collaboration among several community agencies and seniors’ centres across the GTA. Partners include West Hill Community Services, Harmony Hall, North York Seniors Centre, Premier Home Care Services, Scarborough Support Services, and Revera Living. Participants are eligible to win several door prizes and will receive goody bags to take home. Steeles Deli Restaurant in Thornhill, Ontario, a long time supporter of St. Paul’s, will once again provide refreshments for participants.
Registration will be on a first come, first served basis. St. Paul’s will not be reserving spaces. The last day to register for this event is Friday, August 28, 2009.
For more information, please call 416-493-3333 ext 271 visit our website at www.splc.ca
About St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre
St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre provides community services and housing to older adults and seniors. Our vision is to provide a services and housing environment for seniors that allows them to live independently in their community with wellness and dignity and to provide this environment regardless of language, culture or ability to pay.
-30-
August 18, 2009
Seniors' Dating in the New Millennium
(Scarborough, ON): Due to overwhelming success, St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre will host another Companion Connections, a social networking event designed for adults 55 years and older on Saturday, September 12, 2009 from 2:00-5:00 pm. A city-wide event, Companion Connections is a unique social event that allows older adults and seniors to meet new people, expand their social network, and make social connections.
As people get older, it becomes more challenging for them to expand their social networks and meet new people. This is especially true for individuals who are widowed, divorced, or isolated. Companion Connections is a fun, relaxed, and safe environment in which participants can meet up to 20 other single seniors in one day.
Companion Connections is modeled on a typical speed dating framework in which participants are given time to get to know each other in a relaxed conversation. Icebreaker questions are available for those who are nervous or shy. Men rotate seats every 6 minutes while women remain seated. If an individual is interested in their conversation partner, he or she will check off the person’s name on their score sheet. Contact information will only be given if both parties have checked off each other’s name. Our April event was successful with 21 matches being made.
St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre’s Executive Director, Larry Burke, acknowledges the need for such programs in facilitating friendships for this audience. “The success of our first Companion Connections program demonstrates the need for these socialization opportunities for older adults and seniors.”
Companion Connections is a collaboration among several community agencies and seniors’ centres across the GTA. Partners include West Hill Community Services, Harmony Hall, North York Seniors Centre, Premier Home Care Services, Scarborough Support Services, and Revera Living. Participants are eligible to win several door prizes and will receive goody bags to take home. Steeles Deli Restaurant in Thornhill, Ontario, a long time supporter of St. Paul’s, will once again provide refreshments for participants.
Registration will be on a first come, first served basis. St. Paul’s will not be reserving spaces. The last day to register for this event is Friday, August 28, 2009.
For more information, please call 416-493-3333 ext 271 visit our website at www.splc.ca
About St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre
St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre provides community services and housing to older adults and seniors. Our vision is to provide a services and housing environment for seniors that allows them to live independently in their community with wellness and dignity and to provide this environment regardless of language, culture or ability to pay.
-30-
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Octegenarians heat up the dancefloor
Here are two links to women who are dancing into their 80s. These women are truly inspirational to people of all ages. And there's the role model piece, "if she can do it, so can I."
The first link is to a woman named Sarah Jones, also known as Paddy Jones. Although some youtube posts claim she's 87, she's a 75 year old salsa dancer who's been dazzling viewers all over the world with her sexy, classical moves on the dancefloor. Watch Sarah and her salsa partner, Nico, heat up the floor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A&feature=related
Dorothy Dale Kloss is an amazing woman. She's gorgeous, she's in great shape and she still dances at the Fabulous Palm Springs Follies. At 85 years old, she's the world's oldest showgirl. Physical activity, healthy eating, taking care of one's whole health is the key to not only long life, but living well longer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A&feature=related
To watch the video on Dorothy, click here:
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/articles/Dorothy_Dale_Kloss_Oldest_Showgirl_in_the_World.html
To learn more about the Fabulous Palm Springs Follies, click here:
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/reinventing/articles/fabulous_palm_springs_follies_is_still_kicking.html
The first link is to a woman named Sarah Jones, also known as Paddy Jones. Although some youtube posts claim she's 87, she's a 75 year old salsa dancer who's been dazzling viewers all over the world with her sexy, classical moves on the dancefloor. Watch Sarah and her salsa partner, Nico, heat up the floor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A&feature=related
Dorothy Dale Kloss is an amazing woman. She's gorgeous, she's in great shape and she still dances at the Fabulous Palm Springs Follies. At 85 years old, she's the world's oldest showgirl. Physical activity, healthy eating, taking care of one's whole health is the key to not only long life, but living well longer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A&feature=related
To watch the video on Dorothy, click here:
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/articles/Dorothy_Dale_Kloss_Oldest_Showgirl_in_the_World.html
To learn more about the Fabulous Palm Springs Follies, click here:
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/reinventing/articles/fabulous_palm_springs_follies_is_still_kicking.html
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Like a fine wine, sex life improves with age
This survey on sexual lifestyles in 50+ population was sponsored by Eli Lilly. The perspective focuses on erectile dysfunction. It discusses how older adults and seniors are sexually satisfied, how many engage in risky behaviours and sexually adventurous activities. No where in the study is sexually transmitted infections mentioned which is a shocking omission.
With 41% of respondents stating they are sexually adventurous, it is unbelievable and unconscionable to leave out the importance of safer sex practices. But then Eli Lilly, makers of Cialis, would not be concerned about consequences of unprotected sexual activity.
I stated in the CBC's Sex and Seniors documentary, that pharamaceutical companies must do more to educate their older adult and senior patients on safer sex practices. The Cialis website has a link to a 5 page info sheet on "Patient Information." Page two indicates, "CIALIS does not protect a man or his partner from sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV. Speak to your healthcare provider about ways to guard against sexually transmitted diseases."
If Eli Lilly wanted to do more inthe way of corporate social responsibility, they should consider an ad campaign advocating the joys of senior sexuality AND safer sex practices in this population.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
August 8, 2009
-------------------
The Globe and Mail
Report on Business
July 23, 2009
But sex and aging can raise new concerns for couples
TORONTO, July 23 /CNW/ - Many Canadians 50+ are finding that changes to their lifestyle are having a positive impact on their sex life, confessing they are more sexually adventurous, frisky or ferocious in bed. The 50+ crowd admits that the newfound freedom in their lives - as their nests become empty, they enter retirement, and some focus on new relationships - has had a positive impact on their sex life. Yet, despite these positive changes, many are concerned about how aging may lead to sexual issues like erectile dysfunction and the impact it may have on their sex life.
A national survey of Canadians 50+ reveals the sexual attitudes of this aging population. The survey showed that Canadians 50+ are gaining a new lease on life and returning to the spontaneity and intimacy enjoyed earlier in their relationships. In fact, key survey findings showed that among Canadians 50+:
<<
- 41 per cent stated they were sexually adventurous;(1)
- 40 per cent said they were frisky;(1)
- 16 per cent consider themselves ferocious in bed;(1)
- Close to half (45%) stated that their sexual inhibitions have
decreased since they turned 50;(1)
- More than one quarter (27%) stated the quality of their sex life has
improved since they turned 50;(1) and
- Close to half (49%) say that they are satisfied sexually.(1)
>>
"With retirement fast approaching and with sex having fewer taboos than for previous generations, what's not to celebrate about being over 50?" says Dr. David McKenzie, Couples and Sex Therapist in Vancouver. "Reducing stress and having a long-term connection with your partner can greatly contribute towards a more emotionally satisfying relationship as well as a more rewarding sex life."
Spontaneity: Keeping things interesting in the bedroom
Spontaneity is important to the sex life of Canadians 50+, according to almost three quarters of respondents, and over half wish that their sex life was more spontaneous.(1) However, there are concerns as the 50+ think about how sexual difficulties, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), will impact the spontaneity of their sex life as they age. Specifically, one quarter admitted that they or their partner has experienced erectile dysfunction and that it has a negative impact on their sex life.(1) Sexual issues such as experiencing erection difficulties can impact spontaneity in relationships as partners can become frustrated, embarrassed or anxious which, in turn, inhibits the ability for the man to maintain his erection.(2)
"If men and their partners are concerned about achieving and maintaining an erection, they should know that it is a very common medical condition that affects more than a third of Canadian men," says Dr. Gerald Brock, Professor of Surgery, Division of Urology, University of Western Ontario. "Furthermore, experiencing difficulty with erections doesn't have to mean the end of spontaneous intimacy, and many treatment options are available that can give couples the freedom they desire and help to ensure an active and healthy sex life as they age, with great success. The really important message, for the literally tens of thousands of Canadian couples affected with sexual dysfunction, is to speak to their healthcare professional for information and understand their treatment options."
The national online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing using Leger Marketing's Web panel between April 14th and April 20th, 2009. It was sponsored by Eli Lilly Canada Inc. The survey interviewed a total of 1,510 respondents who were Canadian adults, 18 years of age and older. Of those 1,510 respondents, 494 were over the age of 50. Using a national random sample of 1,510 respondents from Leger Marketing's Web panel, this method simulates a probability sample that would yield a maximum margin of error of +/-2.5%, 19 times out of 20. The margin of error among the 494 respondents over the age of 50 is +/-4.4%, 19 times out of 20.
About Lilly
Lilly, a leading innovation-driven corporation, is developing a growing portfolio of first-in-class and best-in-class pharmaceutical products by applying the latest research from its own worldwide laboratories and from collaborations with eminent scientific organizations. Headquartered in Indianapolis, Indiana, Lilly provides answers - through medicines and information - for some of the world's most urgent medical needs. Eli Lilly Canada, headquartered in Toronto, Ontario, employs close to 700 people across the country. Additional information about Eli Lilly Canada can be found at www.lilly.ca.
To see original link: http://www.globeinvestor.com/servlet/story/CNW.20090723.C8037/GIStory
With 41% of respondents stating they are sexually adventurous, it is unbelievable and unconscionable to leave out the importance of safer sex practices. But then Eli Lilly, makers of Cialis, would not be concerned about consequences of unprotected sexual activity.
I stated in the CBC's Sex and Seniors documentary, that pharamaceutical companies must do more to educate their older adult and senior patients on safer sex practices. The Cialis website has a link to a 5 page info sheet on "Patient Information." Page two indicates, "CIALIS does not protect a man or his partner from sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV. Speak to your healthcare provider about ways to guard against sexually transmitted diseases."
If Eli Lilly wanted to do more inthe way of corporate social responsibility, they should consider an ad campaign advocating the joys of senior sexuality AND safer sex practices in this population.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
August 8, 2009
-------------------
The Globe and Mail
Report on Business
July 23, 2009
But sex and aging can raise new concerns for couples
TORONTO, July 23 /CNW/ - Many Canadians 50+ are finding that changes to their lifestyle are having a positive impact on their sex life, confessing they are more sexually adventurous, frisky or ferocious in bed. The 50+ crowd admits that the newfound freedom in their lives - as their nests become empty, they enter retirement, and some focus on new relationships - has had a positive impact on their sex life. Yet, despite these positive changes, many are concerned about how aging may lead to sexual issues like erectile dysfunction and the impact it may have on their sex life.
A national survey of Canadians 50+ reveals the sexual attitudes of this aging population. The survey showed that Canadians 50+ are gaining a new lease on life and returning to the spontaneity and intimacy enjoyed earlier in their relationships. In fact, key survey findings showed that among Canadians 50+:
<<
- 41 per cent stated they were sexually adventurous;(1)
- 40 per cent said they were frisky;(1)
- 16 per cent consider themselves ferocious in bed;(1)
- Close to half (45%) stated that their sexual inhibitions have
decreased since they turned 50;(1)
- More than one quarter (27%) stated the quality of their sex life has
improved since they turned 50;(1) and
- Close to half (49%) say that they are satisfied sexually.(1)
>>
"With retirement fast approaching and with sex having fewer taboos than for previous generations, what's not to celebrate about being over 50?" says Dr. David McKenzie, Couples and Sex Therapist in Vancouver. "Reducing stress and having a long-term connection with your partner can greatly contribute towards a more emotionally satisfying relationship as well as a more rewarding sex life."
Spontaneity: Keeping things interesting in the bedroom
Spontaneity is important to the sex life of Canadians 50+, according to almost three quarters of respondents, and over half wish that their sex life was more spontaneous.(1) However, there are concerns as the 50+ think about how sexual difficulties, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), will impact the spontaneity of their sex life as they age. Specifically, one quarter admitted that they or their partner has experienced erectile dysfunction and that it has a negative impact on their sex life.(1) Sexual issues such as experiencing erection difficulties can impact spontaneity in relationships as partners can become frustrated, embarrassed or anxious which, in turn, inhibits the ability for the man to maintain his erection.(2)
"If men and their partners are concerned about achieving and maintaining an erection, they should know that it is a very common medical condition that affects more than a third of Canadian men," says Dr. Gerald Brock, Professor of Surgery, Division of Urology, University of Western Ontario. "Furthermore, experiencing difficulty with erections doesn't have to mean the end of spontaneous intimacy, and many treatment options are available that can give couples the freedom they desire and help to ensure an active and healthy sex life as they age, with great success. The really important message, for the literally tens of thousands of Canadian couples affected with sexual dysfunction, is to speak to their healthcare professional for information and understand their treatment options."
The national online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing using Leger Marketing's Web panel between April 14th and April 20th, 2009. It was sponsored by Eli Lilly Canada Inc. The survey interviewed a total of 1,510 respondents who were Canadian adults, 18 years of age and older. Of those 1,510 respondents, 494 were over the age of 50. Using a national random sample of 1,510 respondents from Leger Marketing's Web panel, this method simulates a probability sample that would yield a maximum margin of error of +/-2.5%, 19 times out of 20. The margin of error among the 494 respondents over the age of 50 is +/-4.4%, 19 times out of 20.
About Lilly
Lilly, a leading innovation-driven corporation, is developing a growing portfolio of first-in-class and best-in-class pharmaceutical products by applying the latest research from its own worldwide laboratories and from collaborations with eminent scientific organizations. Headquartered in Indianapolis, Indiana, Lilly provides answers - through medicines and information - for some of the world's most urgent medical needs. Eli Lilly Canada, headquartered in Toronto, Ontario, employs close to 700 people across the country. Additional information about Eli Lilly Canada can be found at www.lilly.ca.
To see original link: http://www.globeinvestor.com/servlet/story/CNW.20090723.C8037/GIStory
Thursday, August 6, 2009
CBC Radio The Current Rebroadcasts Sex and Seniors August 6, 2009
CBC Radio show, The Current, rebroadcasts Sex & Seniors Documentary on August 6, 2009
Sex & Seniors Documentary
Across Canada, seniors are staying healthier and living longer. Add drugs such as Viagra to the mix and it's no surprise that they're more sexually active, too. But that can create problems. HIV infections among seniors are on the rise. The rate of HIV infections among Canadians over fifty has doubled in the past ten years.
The rates of other sexually transmitted diseases are also increasing. And with the number of seniors expected to double over the next 40 years, that's a significant public health challenge ... especially since sex among seniors is still something of a taboo subject.
Susan Bell is a freelance documentary producer based in Montreal. She spent some time with one senior citizen who is on a quest to find a boyfriend. Her documentary is called Faith's Journey and it first aired on The Current in January.
Phizer, the drug company behind Viagra, does not sponsor a safe-sex campaign specifically targeting seniors. But it does fund a group called the Canadian Male Sexual Health Council.
Eli Lily, the makers of Cialis, does not fund an educational campaign targeting seniors. But the company says that anyone who wants to is free to apply for funding through its grants and donations division. And as for Iris ... her HIV test came back negative.
To listen to the full broadcast, click: http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/2009/200908/20090806.html
Sex & Seniors Documentary
Across Canada, seniors are staying healthier and living longer. Add drugs such as Viagra to the mix and it's no surprise that they're more sexually active, too. But that can create problems. HIV infections among seniors are on the rise. The rate of HIV infections among Canadians over fifty has doubled in the past ten years.
The rates of other sexually transmitted diseases are also increasing. And with the number of seniors expected to double over the next 40 years, that's a significant public health challenge ... especially since sex among seniors is still something of a taboo subject.
Susan Bell is a freelance documentary producer based in Montreal. She spent some time with one senior citizen who is on a quest to find a boyfriend. Her documentary is called Faith's Journey and it first aired on The Current in January.
Phizer, the drug company behind Viagra, does not sponsor a safe-sex campaign specifically targeting seniors. But it does fund a group called the Canadian Male Sexual Health Council.
Eli Lily, the makers of Cialis, does not fund an educational campaign targeting seniors. But the company says that anyone who wants to is free to apply for funding through its grants and donations division. And as for Iris ... her HIV test came back negative.
To listen to the full broadcast, click: http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/2009/200908/20090806.html
Friday, July 31, 2009
59 Is the New 30
Not that I usually read the opinion section in the New York Times, but this was brought to my attention today (thank you Eric)and I thought it tied in perfectly to SageHealth Network's mandate of positive aging and healthy aging for older adults and seniors.
Thomas Freidman of the New York Times wrote a wonderful piece on golfer, Tom Watson, who won the British Open at age 59. Friedman's article is more subtle than my usual blog posts on positive aging. Although the piece focuses on Watson's golfing skills and the integrity of the game itself, I do really like the "life affirming" aspect. Watson should indeed be looked upon not only as a great golfer, but an older adult with whom others can identify. He can be seen as an inspiration, a role model---someone who is able to achieve a goal, thus making it possible for his contemporaries to attain the same level of success..... "If he can do it at age 59, then so can I." Definitely a life affirming moment.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
----------------------
July 29, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Last April I took a break to caddy for the former U.S. Open champion Andy North when he teamed up with Tom Watson to defend their title in the two-man Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf tournament in Savannah, Ga. So it was with more than a casual spectator’s interest that I watched in awe on Armed Forces television from Afghanistan as Watson made his amazing run at winning the British Open at age 59. Watson likes to talk about foreign affairs more than golf. So to let him know just how many people wanted him to win, I e-mailed him before the final round: “Even the Taliban are rooting for you.”
Indeed, I have been struck at how many golfers and non-golfers got caught up in Watson’s historic performance — tying for the lead after four rounds at Turnberry, but losing in a playoff to the 36-year-old Stewart Cink. I was not alone in being devastated that Watson was not able to par the last hole and clinch the win. Like millions of others, I shouted at the TV as his ball ran across the 18th green — heading for trouble — “STOP! STOP! STOP!” as if I personally had something at stake. Why was that?
Many reasons. For starters, Watson’s run was freaky unusual — a 59-year-old man who had played his opening two rounds in this tournament with a 16-year-old Italian amateur — was able to best the greatest golfers in the world at least a decade after anyone would have dreamt it possible. Watching this happen actually widened our sense of what any of us is capable of. That is, when Kobe Bryant scores 70 points, we are in awe. When Tiger Woods wins by 15 strokes, we are in awe. But when a man our own age and size whips the world’s best — who are half his age — we identify.
Of course, Watson has unique golfing skills, but if you are a baby boomer you could not help but look at him and say something you would never say about Tiger or Kobe: “He’s my age; he’s my build; he’s my height; and he even had his hip replaced like me. If he can do that, maybe I can do something like that, too.”
Neil Oxman, Watson’s caddy, who is a top Democratic political consultant in his real life, told me: “After Thursday’s round with Tom, when we left the scoring tent I said to him, ‘You know, this is a thing.’ He understood what I meant. On Sunday morning, the two of us were in the corner of the locker room without another human being around, sitting in these two easy chairs facing each other behind a partition. We were chatting about stuff, and I said to him, ‘For a lot of people, what you’re doing is life-affirming.’ I took it from a story about when Betty Comden and Adolph Green — the writers of “Singin’ in the Rain” — showed Leonard Bernstein the famous scene of Gene Kelly. Bernstein said to them, ‘That scene is an affirmation of life.’ What Tom did last week was an affirmation of life.”
Also, as Watson himself appreciates, the way he lost the tournament underscored why golf is the sport most like life. He hit two perfect shots on the 18th hole in the final round, and the second one bounced just a little too hard and ran through the green, leaving him a difficult chip back, which he was unable to get up and down. Had his ball stopped a foot shorter, he would have had an easy two-putt and a win.
That’s the point. Baseball, basketball and football are played on flat surfaces designed to give true bounces. Golf is played on an uneven terrain designed to surprise. Good and bad bounces are built into the essence of the game. And the reason golf is so much like life is that the game — like life — is all about how you react to those good and bad bounces. Do you blame your caddy? Do you cheat? Do you throw your clubs? Or do you accept it all with dignity and grace and move on, as Watson always has. Hence the saying: Play one round of golf with someone and you will learn everything you need to know about his character.
Golf is all about individual character. The ball is fixed. No one throws it to you. You initiate the swing, and you alone have to live with the results. There are no teammates to blame or commiserate with. Also, pro golfers, unlike baseball, football or basketball players, have no fixed salaries. They eat what they kill. If they score well, they make money. If they don’t, they don’t make money. I wonder what the average N.B.A. player’s free-throw shooting percentage would be if he had to make free throws to get paid the way golfers have to make three-foot putts?
This wonderful but cruel game never stops testing or teaching you. “The only comment I can make,” Watson told me after, “is one that the immortal Bobby Jones related: ‘One learns from defeat, not from victory.’ I may never have the chance again to beat the kids, but I took one thing from the last hole: hitting both the tee shot and the approach shots exactly the way I meant to wasn’t good enough. ... I had to finish.”
So Tom Watson got a brutal lesson in golf that he’ll never forget, but he gave us all an incredible lesson in possibilities — one we’ll never forget.
Original link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/29/opinion/29friedman.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print
Thomas Freidman of the New York Times wrote a wonderful piece on golfer, Tom Watson, who won the British Open at age 59. Friedman's article is more subtle than my usual blog posts on positive aging. Although the piece focuses on Watson's golfing skills and the integrity of the game itself, I do really like the "life affirming" aspect. Watson should indeed be looked upon not only as a great golfer, but an older adult with whom others can identify. He can be seen as an inspiration, a role model---someone who is able to achieve a goal, thus making it possible for his contemporaries to attain the same level of success..... "If he can do it at age 59, then so can I." Definitely a life affirming moment.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
----------------------
July 29, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Last April I took a break to caddy for the former U.S. Open champion Andy North when he teamed up with Tom Watson to defend their title in the two-man Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf tournament in Savannah, Ga. So it was with more than a casual spectator’s interest that I watched in awe on Armed Forces television from Afghanistan as Watson made his amazing run at winning the British Open at age 59. Watson likes to talk about foreign affairs more than golf. So to let him know just how many people wanted him to win, I e-mailed him before the final round: “Even the Taliban are rooting for you.”
Indeed, I have been struck at how many golfers and non-golfers got caught up in Watson’s historic performance — tying for the lead after four rounds at Turnberry, but losing in a playoff to the 36-year-old Stewart Cink. I was not alone in being devastated that Watson was not able to par the last hole and clinch the win. Like millions of others, I shouted at the TV as his ball ran across the 18th green — heading for trouble — “STOP! STOP! STOP!” as if I personally had something at stake. Why was that?
Many reasons. For starters, Watson’s run was freaky unusual — a 59-year-old man who had played his opening two rounds in this tournament with a 16-year-old Italian amateur — was able to best the greatest golfers in the world at least a decade after anyone would have dreamt it possible. Watching this happen actually widened our sense of what any of us is capable of. That is, when Kobe Bryant scores 70 points, we are in awe. When Tiger Woods wins by 15 strokes, we are in awe. But when a man our own age and size whips the world’s best — who are half his age — we identify.
Of course, Watson has unique golfing skills, but if you are a baby boomer you could not help but look at him and say something you would never say about Tiger or Kobe: “He’s my age; he’s my build; he’s my height; and he even had his hip replaced like me. If he can do that, maybe I can do something like that, too.”
Neil Oxman, Watson’s caddy, who is a top Democratic political consultant in his real life, told me: “After Thursday’s round with Tom, when we left the scoring tent I said to him, ‘You know, this is a thing.’ He understood what I meant. On Sunday morning, the two of us were in the corner of the locker room without another human being around, sitting in these two easy chairs facing each other behind a partition. We were chatting about stuff, and I said to him, ‘For a lot of people, what you’re doing is life-affirming.’ I took it from a story about when Betty Comden and Adolph Green — the writers of “Singin’ in the Rain” — showed Leonard Bernstein the famous scene of Gene Kelly. Bernstein said to them, ‘That scene is an affirmation of life.’ What Tom did last week was an affirmation of life.”
Also, as Watson himself appreciates, the way he lost the tournament underscored why golf is the sport most like life. He hit two perfect shots on the 18th hole in the final round, and the second one bounced just a little too hard and ran through the green, leaving him a difficult chip back, which he was unable to get up and down. Had his ball stopped a foot shorter, he would have had an easy two-putt and a win.
That’s the point. Baseball, basketball and football are played on flat surfaces designed to give true bounces. Golf is played on an uneven terrain designed to surprise. Good and bad bounces are built into the essence of the game. And the reason golf is so much like life is that the game — like life — is all about how you react to those good and bad bounces. Do you blame your caddy? Do you cheat? Do you throw your clubs? Or do you accept it all with dignity and grace and move on, as Watson always has. Hence the saying: Play one round of golf with someone and you will learn everything you need to know about his character.
Golf is all about individual character. The ball is fixed. No one throws it to you. You initiate the swing, and you alone have to live with the results. There are no teammates to blame or commiserate with. Also, pro golfers, unlike baseball, football or basketball players, have no fixed salaries. They eat what they kill. If they score well, they make money. If they don’t, they don’t make money. I wonder what the average N.B.A. player’s free-throw shooting percentage would be if he had to make free throws to get paid the way golfers have to make three-foot putts?
This wonderful but cruel game never stops testing or teaching you. “The only comment I can make,” Watson told me after, “is one that the immortal Bobby Jones related: ‘One learns from defeat, not from victory.’ I may never have the chance again to beat the kids, but I took one thing from the last hole: hitting both the tee shot and the approach shots exactly the way I meant to wasn’t good enough. ... I had to finish.”
So Tom Watson got a brutal lesson in golf that he’ll never forget, but he gave us all an incredible lesson in possibilities — one we’ll never forget.
Original link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/29/opinion/29friedman.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print
Saturday, July 18, 2009
What's so bad about aging?
by Elizabeth Rogers, 50Plus.com
Remember when you were a kid and people over the age of 20 seemed grown-up -- and over 30 was practically ancient ?
It's not surprising that our idea of "old" changes as we age, but new research shows that our attitudes about aging itself are changing too. A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center's Social & Demographic Trends project in February and March 2009 revealed some interesting trends -- as well as misperceptions -- about "growing old."
The Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality study polled nearly 3000 adults of all ages and asked about topics such as negative benchmarks of aging (like memory loss and failing health), what benefits are typically enjoyed by older adults and when old age actually starts. Here are some of the key findings:
Young(er) at heart
Here's further proof that age is "all in your head": The results show that as people get older, there's a widening gap between how old they feel versus how old they actually are . Not surprisingly, people in their twenties report feeling like they are in their twenties. However, that "twenty-something" feeling follows people into their thirties, and after that people continue to fall even further behind. For example, many forty year olds still feel like they're in their mid-thirties, and people in their fifties feel like they're in their forties.
Naturally, the gap gets even wider as age increases. According to the survey, only one third of people over 65 report that they feel exactly their age versus the 60 per cent who say they feel younger.
Just how much younger? Nearly half of people over the age of 50 feel ten years younger. Respondents in the 65 - 74 age group report feeling even younger than that -- with one in three people saying they felt 10 - 19 years younger, and one in six feeling 20 years younger than their actual age.
"Old age" -- when does it start?
If people are feeling younger than ever before, at what age does "being old" actually start? Survey respondents had an opinion on that subject too, and the results point to yet another sliding scale. The average reply -- age 68 -- only tells part of the story. When asked at what age the average person becomes old, respondents in the 18 - 29 age group say age 60. However, 30 - 49 year olds push that age back to 69, and people 65+ say "old age" doesn't start until 74.
How do people 75 and over feel about that? Only 35 per cent of them say they feel old. "Old age" is something that happens at a later time, and the majority of respondents don't consider themselves to have reached it yet.
The numbers aren't shocking -- after all, our perception of "old" changes as we accumulate candles on our birthday cakes. However, what's interesting to note is the gender gap. According to the Pew Research Center, men on average say that "old' begins at an earlier age than women do. Across all age groups, women say old age starts at 70 while men place the threshold at 66. (Perhaps they can be forgiven -- after all, a man's life expectancy is still about five years less than a woman's).
You know you're getting old when...
Numbers weren't the only thing the Pew Research Center asked about. Other markers such as failing health, forgetting names and retirement were considered too.
What makes a person old? Grey hair and grandchildren barely make the list with only 13 and 15 per cent of respondents saying they're a marker of old age. Only one in five people link retirement to being old. And not being sexually active? Only one third think that makes people old.
However, when it comes to failing health and forgetting familiar names, respondents were split with answers at 47 per cent and 51 per cent respectively.
On the flip side, nearly two thirds of people believe a person is old when they turn 75, and almost 80 per cent think turning 85 was an indicator. Being unable to drive or unable to live independently were major factors too, with results showing up at 66 per cent and 76 per cent respectively.
In other words, numbers aren't the only way to define age -- quality of life and independence must be considered too.
Aging: not as bad as we think...?
So what are we afraid of anyway? The study shows that the expectations of younger people don't match what older age groups actually experience when it comes to the negative aspects of aging. Considering the following:
- More than half of people under 65 expect memory loss as they age -- but only one quarter of people over 65 report experiencing it (that's a gap of 32 per cent).
- When it comes to driving, there's a similar disparity: only 14 per cent of respondents over 65 say they are no longer able to drive, but 45 per cent of people under 65 anticipate the issue.
- Health issues may not be as bad either: 42 per cent expect a serious illness but only half that number of people over 65 report experiencing one.
- What about feeling lonely, being a burden to others and not feeling needed? Again, there's a significant difference between what younger respondents predict and what older respondents actually experience.
- And there's good news when it comes to sex -- while one third of younger respondents predict they won't be sexually active, nearly 80 per cent of people over 65 report that they still are. (In fact, age may even be an advantage in the bedroom -- see The Zoomer Report for details).
...Or not as good as we anticipate?
Are these really the "golden years?" People over 65 report experiencing the many benefits that come with age. Sixty per cent of people over 65 say they're feeling less stress than when they were younger, and they're getting more respect. Two thirds are enjoying more time with friends and family and spending more time on their interests and hobbies. Despite economic woes, the majority say they're feeling more financially secure than when they were younger.
But if you're under 65, don't set your sights too high just yet... The survey also shows that the reality may not measure up to the expectations of Baby Boomers and Generation X:
- Even though people are enjoying more time with their loved ones and doing the things they love, there's a gap between expectations and reality of 12 and 16 per cent respectively. In short, older people don't have as much time as younger people think.
- What about travelling and volunteering? Around 80 per cent of younger people expect to spend more on these activities when they're older, yet just over half of older respondents actually do.
- When it comes to careers, nearly 40 per cent in the under 65 cohort anticipate the opportunity for a second career, but only 14 per cent of people 65+ report having one.
- And what about lower stress levels and more financial security? The proportions don't quite match up there either. While the gap isn't big, the numbers suggest that some people may be disappointed in the future.
To keep things in perspective, more than half of adults over 65 reported that the thing they value most about being older is spending more time with family -- particularly the grandchildren.
Overall, life is good
When you put the challenges and benefits together, what do you get? Researchers found that older adults are about as happy as everyone else. One question even tackled the issue directly: respondents were asked if they were "very happy", "pretty happy" or "not too happy". The per centages did vary among the age groups, but not by wide margins. For instance, about 20 per cent of people in the 50-64, 65-74 and over 75 age groups report feeling "not too happy" compared to 14 per cent of 30-49 year olds or 9 per cent of adults between 18 and 29.
Like the younger cohorts, the majority of people over 50 report being "very happy" or "pretty happy".
How can that be? Researchers note that many of the indicators of happiness earlier in life -- like good health, financial security, and friends -- are still present later in life. Part of the difference could be because of marriage, which is an indicator of happiness earlier in life but not necessarily later on. (That's not to say that "old married couples" are less happy on the whole -- it could be that many respondents are widows or widowers).
Overall, older people are pleased about how their lives have shaped up so far -- 45 per cent of adults over 75 even report that their life has turned out better than anticipated, while only 5 per cent say it turned out worse. (The other 50 per cent either report that life turned out the way they expected or didn't answer).
So what's the bottom line? The results suggest that "aging well" isn't an abstract idea -- it's becoming a reality. Our ideas about aging are still evolving, but they're headed in the right direction.
ON THE WEB
Read the survey results and download the full report from the Pew Research Center.
(Note: Researchers acknowledge that some older respondents couldn't be reached for the study due to factors like ill health or living in a nursing home. To help offset this bias, they contacted a sample of 200 adults caregivers and included those responses in their consideration.)
Do these results match your own experience? Tell us in the comments.
Original source: http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Home/ContentPosting_50Plus?newsitemid=c9583477-57a0-4816-b2d9-2963c6e3e8ac&feedname=50_PLUS&show=False&number=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=False
Remember when you were a kid and people over the age of 20 seemed grown-up -- and over 30 was practically ancient ?
It's not surprising that our idea of "old" changes as we age, but new research shows that our attitudes about aging itself are changing too. A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center's Social & Demographic Trends project in February and March 2009 revealed some interesting trends -- as well as misperceptions -- about "growing old."
The Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality study polled nearly 3000 adults of all ages and asked about topics such as negative benchmarks of aging (like memory loss and failing health), what benefits are typically enjoyed by older adults and when old age actually starts. Here are some of the key findings:
Young(er) at heart
Here's further proof that age is "all in your head": The results show that as people get older, there's a widening gap between how old they feel versus how old they actually are . Not surprisingly, people in their twenties report feeling like they are in their twenties. However, that "twenty-something" feeling follows people into their thirties, and after that people continue to fall even further behind. For example, many forty year olds still feel like they're in their mid-thirties, and people in their fifties feel like they're in their forties.
Naturally, the gap gets even wider as age increases. According to the survey, only one third of people over 65 report that they feel exactly their age versus the 60 per cent who say they feel younger.
Just how much younger? Nearly half of people over the age of 50 feel ten years younger. Respondents in the 65 - 74 age group report feeling even younger than that -- with one in three people saying they felt 10 - 19 years younger, and one in six feeling 20 years younger than their actual age.
"Old age" -- when does it start?
If people are feeling younger than ever before, at what age does "being old" actually start? Survey respondents had an opinion on that subject too, and the results point to yet another sliding scale. The average reply -- age 68 -- only tells part of the story. When asked at what age the average person becomes old, respondents in the 18 - 29 age group say age 60. However, 30 - 49 year olds push that age back to 69, and people 65+ say "old age" doesn't start until 74.
How do people 75 and over feel about that? Only 35 per cent of them say they feel old. "Old age" is something that happens at a later time, and the majority of respondents don't consider themselves to have reached it yet.
The numbers aren't shocking -- after all, our perception of "old" changes as we accumulate candles on our birthday cakes. However, what's interesting to note is the gender gap. According to the Pew Research Center, men on average say that "old' begins at an earlier age than women do. Across all age groups, women say old age starts at 70 while men place the threshold at 66. (Perhaps they can be forgiven -- after all, a man's life expectancy is still about five years less than a woman's).
You know you're getting old when...
Numbers weren't the only thing the Pew Research Center asked about. Other markers such as failing health, forgetting names and retirement were considered too.
What makes a person old? Grey hair and grandchildren barely make the list with only 13 and 15 per cent of respondents saying they're a marker of old age. Only one in five people link retirement to being old. And not being sexually active? Only one third think that makes people old.
However, when it comes to failing health and forgetting familiar names, respondents were split with answers at 47 per cent and 51 per cent respectively.
On the flip side, nearly two thirds of people believe a person is old when they turn 75, and almost 80 per cent think turning 85 was an indicator. Being unable to drive or unable to live independently were major factors too, with results showing up at 66 per cent and 76 per cent respectively.
In other words, numbers aren't the only way to define age -- quality of life and independence must be considered too.
Aging: not as bad as we think...?
So what are we afraid of anyway? The study shows that the expectations of younger people don't match what older age groups actually experience when it comes to the negative aspects of aging. Considering the following:
- More than half of people under 65 expect memory loss as they age -- but only one quarter of people over 65 report experiencing it (that's a gap of 32 per cent).
- When it comes to driving, there's a similar disparity: only 14 per cent of respondents over 65 say they are no longer able to drive, but 45 per cent of people under 65 anticipate the issue.
- Health issues may not be as bad either: 42 per cent expect a serious illness but only half that number of people over 65 report experiencing one.
- What about feeling lonely, being a burden to others and not feeling needed? Again, there's a significant difference between what younger respondents predict and what older respondents actually experience.
- And there's good news when it comes to sex -- while one third of younger respondents predict they won't be sexually active, nearly 80 per cent of people over 65 report that they still are. (In fact, age may even be an advantage in the bedroom -- see The Zoomer Report for details).
...Or not as good as we anticipate?
Are these really the "golden years?" People over 65 report experiencing the many benefits that come with age. Sixty per cent of people over 65 say they're feeling less stress than when they were younger, and they're getting more respect. Two thirds are enjoying more time with friends and family and spending more time on their interests and hobbies. Despite economic woes, the majority say they're feeling more financially secure than when they were younger.
But if you're under 65, don't set your sights too high just yet... The survey also shows that the reality may not measure up to the expectations of Baby Boomers and Generation X:
- Even though people are enjoying more time with their loved ones and doing the things they love, there's a gap between expectations and reality of 12 and 16 per cent respectively. In short, older people don't have as much time as younger people think.
- What about travelling and volunteering? Around 80 per cent of younger people expect to spend more on these activities when they're older, yet just over half of older respondents actually do.
- When it comes to careers, nearly 40 per cent in the under 65 cohort anticipate the opportunity for a second career, but only 14 per cent of people 65+ report having one.
- And what about lower stress levels and more financial security? The proportions don't quite match up there either. While the gap isn't big, the numbers suggest that some people may be disappointed in the future.
To keep things in perspective, more than half of adults over 65 reported that the thing they value most about being older is spending more time with family -- particularly the grandchildren.
Overall, life is good
When you put the challenges and benefits together, what do you get? Researchers found that older adults are about as happy as everyone else. One question even tackled the issue directly: respondents were asked if they were "very happy", "pretty happy" or "not too happy". The per centages did vary among the age groups, but not by wide margins. For instance, about 20 per cent of people in the 50-64, 65-74 and over 75 age groups report feeling "not too happy" compared to 14 per cent of 30-49 year olds or 9 per cent of adults between 18 and 29.
Like the younger cohorts, the majority of people over 50 report being "very happy" or "pretty happy".
How can that be? Researchers note that many of the indicators of happiness earlier in life -- like good health, financial security, and friends -- are still present later in life. Part of the difference could be because of marriage, which is an indicator of happiness earlier in life but not necessarily later on. (That's not to say that "old married couples" are less happy on the whole -- it could be that many respondents are widows or widowers).
Overall, older people are pleased about how their lives have shaped up so far -- 45 per cent of adults over 75 even report that their life has turned out better than anticipated, while only 5 per cent say it turned out worse. (The other 50 per cent either report that life turned out the way they expected or didn't answer).
So what's the bottom line? The results suggest that "aging well" isn't an abstract idea -- it's becoming a reality. Our ideas about aging are still evolving, but they're headed in the right direction.
ON THE WEB
Read the survey results and download the full report from the Pew Research Center.
(Note: Researchers acknowledge that some older respondents couldn't be reached for the study due to factors like ill health or living in a nursing home. To help offset this bias, they contacted a sample of 200 adults caregivers and included those responses in their consideration.)
Do these results match your own experience? Tell us in the comments.
Original source: http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Home/ContentPosting_50Plus?newsitemid=c9583477-57a0-4816-b2d9-2963c6e3e8ac&feedname=50_PLUS&show=False&number=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=False
Boomers May Create ‘Entrepreneurship Boom’
Great news for Boomers who are just not ready to stop working. With ageism rampant in the work world, many older adults face discrimination searching for jobs--something that is more common now in this economic recession. Why depend on others to hire you to earn income? Start your own business. With increasing rates of unemployment and job loss, many are using their own means to get buy and starting their own businesses. Difficult times resulting in entrepreneurial ventures is good for the economy and the proprietor. Starting a business, no matter what age the individual is can be a risky project no doubt....but it can also be the pathway to self fulfillment, immense personal satisfaction and living out one's dream.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
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Wichita Business Journal
July 2, 2009
Aging baby boomers aren’t headed out to pasture — they’re starting new businesses, according to a Kauffman Foundation study that predicts the United States may be “on the cusp of an entrepreneurship boom.”
Over the past decade, Americans between the ages of 55 and 64 had the highest rate of entrepreneurial activity of any age group. The 20-34 age bracket had the lowest rate, despite the attention lavished on youthful founders of companies such as Facebook and Google.
Job trends may increase entrepreneurial activity among older Americans.
“While people under age 30 have historically jumped from job to job, the most striking development today has been the deep drop in the incidence of ‘lifetime’ jobs among men over age 50,” writes Dane Stangler, senior analyst at the foundation and author of the study.
The past year’s economic upheavals also may produce more entrepreneurs among all age groups.
“The very idea of ‘too-big-to-fail’ institutions has been permanently damaged,” Stangler writes. “Recent economic trends – away from lifetime jobs and toward more new companies – will thus gain even greater cultural traction. New and stronger regulations aiming to prevent the rise of such giant organizations also may help create a more market-oriented society.”
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/2009/entrepreneurship.htm
MCauch
SageHealth Network
-------------------------------------------------------------
Wichita Business Journal
July 2, 2009
Aging baby boomers aren’t headed out to pasture — they’re starting new businesses, according to a Kauffman Foundation study that predicts the United States may be “on the cusp of an entrepreneurship boom.”
Over the past decade, Americans between the ages of 55 and 64 had the highest rate of entrepreneurial activity of any age group. The 20-34 age bracket had the lowest rate, despite the attention lavished on youthful founders of companies such as Facebook and Google.
Job trends may increase entrepreneurial activity among older Americans.
“While people under age 30 have historically jumped from job to job, the most striking development today has been the deep drop in the incidence of ‘lifetime’ jobs among men over age 50,” writes Dane Stangler, senior analyst at the foundation and author of the study.
The past year’s economic upheavals also may produce more entrepreneurs among all age groups.
“The very idea of ‘too-big-to-fail’ institutions has been permanently damaged,” Stangler writes. “Recent economic trends – away from lifetime jobs and toward more new companies – will thus gain even greater cultural traction. New and stronger regulations aiming to prevent the rise of such giant organizations also may help create a more market-oriented society.”
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/us/2009/entrepreneurship.htm
Seniors Warned about STDs
By Meredith Hines-Dochterman, The Gazette
June 13, 2009
Silence about sex among the elderly is putting older adults’ health at risk, with experts warning that senior citizens are at increasing risk for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 19 percent of all people with HIV/AIDS in this country are age 50 and older. The percentage could be higher because older people don’t get tested regularly.
“Menopause makes pregnancy a non-issue” for sexually active older adults, said Susan Milstein, an associate professor at Montgomery College in Maryland. “What many adults don’t realize is they still need to be careful.”
Seniors, unlike America’s youth, haven’t had formal sex education classes, making the concept of safe sex a foreign concept, at least for some. Also, older adults are less likely to discuss their sex lives with others, including doctors.
The AARP study “Sexuality at Midlife: 2004 Update of Attitudes and Behaviors” found that more adults in midlife are turning to health professionals to improve their sexual health, meaning more physicians are better prepared to deal with issues related to sexual health. But many older adults are not receiving treatment for a variety of illnesses and conditions that may or may not be STDs.
Older adults “have these incredibly healthy sex drives, and that’s OK. It’s normal,” Milstein said. “What we need is to have an open conversation that makes it OK.”
The conversation needs to occur at all levels — with partners, families, health officials, senior organizations and the media.
“Just because we don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening,” Milstein said.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2009/stds.htm
June 13, 2009
Silence about sex among the elderly is putting older adults’ health at risk, with experts warning that senior citizens are at increasing risk for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 19 percent of all people with HIV/AIDS in this country are age 50 and older. The percentage could be higher because older people don’t get tested regularly.
“Menopause makes pregnancy a non-issue” for sexually active older adults, said Susan Milstein, an associate professor at Montgomery College in Maryland. “What many adults don’t realize is they still need to be careful.”
Seniors, unlike America’s youth, haven’t had formal sex education classes, making the concept of safe sex a foreign concept, at least for some. Also, older adults are less likely to discuss their sex lives with others, including doctors.
The AARP study “Sexuality at Midlife: 2004 Update of Attitudes and Behaviors” found that more adults in midlife are turning to health professionals to improve their sexual health, meaning more physicians are better prepared to deal with issues related to sexual health. But many older adults are not receiving treatment for a variety of illnesses and conditions that may or may not be STDs.
Older adults “have these incredibly healthy sex drives, and that’s OK. It’s normal,” Milstein said. “What we need is to have an open conversation that makes it OK.”
The conversation needs to occur at all levels — with partners, families, health officials, senior organizations and the media.
“Just because we don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening,” Milstein said.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2009/stds.htm
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A Positive Pro Age Article
We need more articles like this one on the pros of aging gracefully. Anti aging marketing campaigns flood our tv sets, magazines,and lunch rooms. Anti is a word that conjures up negativity and combativeness. Anti aging implies engaging in a battle against the enemy of time and to win at all costs. We are so concerned about how not to look our age that we forget to look inside ourselves and to take pride in what makes us who we are. Personality, intellect, accomplishments, relationships....these never fade away as physical appearance. Instead of fighting tooth and nail against our socially constructed nemesis, Time....let us become friends with it and learn to take care of ourselves in ways that matter and learn how to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle and stay vital, contributing members of society.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
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Being Pro-age is the Antidote to Anti-age Marketing
By Debra D. Bass, Stltoday.com
June 6, 2009
Aging is not optional, so forgive me if I'm a little annoyed by the "anti-age" marketing bandwagon.
It does not fill my heart with glee to imagine a world of Dorian Grays smiling devilishly at every compliment. You can't cheat time, turn it back or ignore it without consequences.
One important consequence may be your current sense of well-being. Is your happiness tied to looking younger than (pick a number)?
Me? I like aging ... as the quip goes "it beats the alternative."
Yet, right now, we are being convinced that if we spend, slather and baste ourselves enough with the right combination of elixirs and procedures that we can all join Peter Pan in some kind of cosmeceutical Neverland.
I'm worried.
When the ultimate compliment is "I never would have guessed you were..." or "You don't look a day over..," looking your age becomes a source of dissatisfaction.
It fills me with dread every time someone tells me how youthful I look for my age because I know that one day I will likely "look my age" and I'll be devastated.
In the past few weeks, I've been offered samples of anti-aging shampoo, anti-aging nail polish and anti-aging perfume. Yes, perfume. It is now possible to smell younger.
In response to the ridiculousness, I've adopted a pro-aging policy.
And to be clear, being pro-age doesn't mean that I believe that people should let themselves deteriorate.
Aging gracefully is a much different animal than not aging at all costs.
If you ask me, a polished 50-year-old is so much more admirable than a vivacious 20-year-old. It's easy to look good when you're young. Looking good while aging is an accomplishment.
It's also possible to look better with age. I've got some high school pictures of me in hot pink lipstick with an asymmetrical haircut that I would submit as exhibit A in this argument, if I had not destroyed them.
Dr. Bill Thomas, an international authority on geriatric medicine and professor of aging studies at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, said that we are plagued by a crazy inversion in which our culture reveres youth to an extreme and believes aging is something inflicted on us by the forces of evil.
"Age is not a broken down version of youth," Thomas says.
The response from most of society is, "well, it sure looks like it."
Oddly enough, the people having the last laugh on this issue are the elders.
Ask a 70-year-old if they want to be 20 again and the answer would be overwhelmingly, "No."
Older people are happier according to a number of studies including several supported by the National Institutes of Health. The stereotype is that people grow old, isolated, sick and depressed, but that's not necessarily the reality.
Thomas said that as long as we fear age instead of admiring it, we will obviously continue to shun the appearance of age.
He said that because the highest penalties of age are exacted on women, he can't blame us for prescribing to anti-age doctrine by any means necessary.
But as far as looking older, the problem — or rather the reality is that there's no substitute for good genes and sunscreen. So we have to be realistic in our expectations. It's OK to look your age. Thomas explained that you can age gracefully or age freakishly by striving for a perpetual visage of youth that ultimately just looks like desperate attempts to serve up mutton dressed like lamb.
"Age should bring a gradually increasing acceptance of who you are. You become better acquainted with yourself and if you're lucky you become happier with who you are," Thomas says.
Hmm, makes a lot of sense. Acceptance, I'd like the smell of that a lot better than youth.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/world/2009/proage.htm
MCauch
SageHealth Network
-----------------------
Being Pro-age is the Antidote to Anti-age Marketing
By Debra D. Bass, Stltoday.com
June 6, 2009
Aging is not optional, so forgive me if I'm a little annoyed by the "anti-age" marketing bandwagon.
It does not fill my heart with glee to imagine a world of Dorian Grays smiling devilishly at every compliment. You can't cheat time, turn it back or ignore it without consequences.
One important consequence may be your current sense of well-being. Is your happiness tied to looking younger than (pick a number)?
Me? I like aging ... as the quip goes "it beats the alternative."
Yet, right now, we are being convinced that if we spend, slather and baste ourselves enough with the right combination of elixirs and procedures that we can all join Peter Pan in some kind of cosmeceutical Neverland.
I'm worried.
When the ultimate compliment is "I never would have guessed you were..." or "You don't look a day over..," looking your age becomes a source of dissatisfaction.
It fills me with dread every time someone tells me how youthful I look for my age because I know that one day I will likely "look my age" and I'll be devastated.
In the past few weeks, I've been offered samples of anti-aging shampoo, anti-aging nail polish and anti-aging perfume. Yes, perfume. It is now possible to smell younger.
In response to the ridiculousness, I've adopted a pro-aging policy.
And to be clear, being pro-age doesn't mean that I believe that people should let themselves deteriorate.
Aging gracefully is a much different animal than not aging at all costs.
If you ask me, a polished 50-year-old is so much more admirable than a vivacious 20-year-old. It's easy to look good when you're young. Looking good while aging is an accomplishment.
It's also possible to look better with age. I've got some high school pictures of me in hot pink lipstick with an asymmetrical haircut that I would submit as exhibit A in this argument, if I had not destroyed them.
Dr. Bill Thomas, an international authority on geriatric medicine and professor of aging studies at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, said that we are plagued by a crazy inversion in which our culture reveres youth to an extreme and believes aging is something inflicted on us by the forces of evil.
"Age is not a broken down version of youth," Thomas says.
The response from most of society is, "well, it sure looks like it."
Oddly enough, the people having the last laugh on this issue are the elders.
Ask a 70-year-old if they want to be 20 again and the answer would be overwhelmingly, "No."
Older people are happier according to a number of studies including several supported by the National Institutes of Health. The stereotype is that people grow old, isolated, sick and depressed, but that's not necessarily the reality.
Thomas said that as long as we fear age instead of admiring it, we will obviously continue to shun the appearance of age.
He said that because the highest penalties of age are exacted on women, he can't blame us for prescribing to anti-age doctrine by any means necessary.
But as far as looking older, the problem — or rather the reality is that there's no substitute for good genes and sunscreen. So we have to be realistic in our expectations. It's OK to look your age. Thomas explained that you can age gracefully or age freakishly by striving for a perpetual visage of youth that ultimately just looks like desperate attempts to serve up mutton dressed like lamb.
"Age should bring a gradually increasing acceptance of who you are. You become better acquainted with yourself and if you're lucky you become happier with who you are," Thomas says.
Hmm, makes a lot of sense. Acceptance, I'd like the smell of that a lot better than youth.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/world/2009/proage.htm
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Erectile Dysfunction Ads Too Hot for TV?
This story is about banning erectile dysfunction ads on tv because they are regarded as offensive and a bad influence on children. How ridiculous! Although, I do believe that ED manufacturers need to be more responsible to consumers in providing information about safer sex and the prevention of sexually transmitted infections, I do not believe these advertisements should be banned. These ads show older couples who love and respect eachother. It shows intimacy in a very positive light and doesn't cheapen sexuality or make it tawdry. These ads also raise awareness and acceptance of older sexuality. Sexual expression is an important part of a loving relationship, no matter what their ages.
If commercials such as these between two healthy, couples in love offends someone or is believed to be a bad influence on children, you should really talk openly to children about the facts of life and what love is. These ads are a good example of what a healthy relationship should be. Attempts to ban these messages and images are disgraceful and offensive to older adults and seniors and it also continues to hide older sexuality and intimacy from the public landscape which results in further denial , embarrassment and revulsion of society.
SageHealth Network
May 9, 2009
*******Carol Costello - Contributor, CNN's American MorningFiled under: Controversy
May 7, 2009
Rep. Jim Moran wants to limit the time of day ads for erectile dysfunction medicine can air on TV.
From CNN’s Bob Ruff
You’ve all seen them. Those ubiquitous TV ads where a simple little pill transforms a man suffering from erectile dysfunction, or ED, into a virile tiger who puts a smile on the face of his now beaming wife.
Well, Representative Jim Moran (D-VA) has seen them too, and you’d be hard pressed to see a smile on his face when he talks about the ads.“A number of people,” he says, “have come up, including colleagues, and said I’m fed up. I don’t want my three or four-year old grandkid asking me what erectile dysfunction is all about. And I don’t blame them.”
Enter H.R. 2175. That’s a bill that Rep. Moran introduced last month that would prohibit any ED ads from airing on broadcast radio and TV between 6AM and 10PM. The bill advises the Federal Communications Commission to treat these ads as “indecent” and instruct stations to restrict their broadcast to late night and overnight hours.
So, could it be adios to all of those “Viva Viagra” commercials that play on network television on weekends and during the evening? Could the same be said for the Cialis couple sitting in outdoor tubs looking out at the sunset? And could Levitra also be shunned to the overnight hours?
CNN asked Pfzier, which makes Viagra, the first pill available by prescription to treat ED, what they thought of Rep. Moran’s bill.
“Pfizer is committed to responsible advertising… In line with our policies and the policies of the industry, Viagra advertising is aired in shows most likely to reach men suffering from erectile dysfunction. ED can be a signal for other serious medical issues, including high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular disease.”
We asked several people on the streets of Atlanta for their opinions.
Nikia Clark, a mother of a 2-year-old, thinks “it’s a great idea.” She’s concerned that as her child gets older, she doesn’t want him “seeing those kinds of commercials… on regular network shows.”
Janice Habersham agrees. She says while the “ads are tastefully done” they shouldn’t be aired at “the time when children are watching TV.”
On the other hand, Bruce Jackson says ED ads “should be run 24 hours a day.” And Louis Tesser says banning the ads “is clearly unconstitutional… it’s a viewpoint. It’s something that people are interested in, and you can’t change that.”
Rep. Moran does have some perspective on the issue. “While it’s not as important as the economy, or what’s happening militarily around the world, it is an intrusion into the quality of life that we like to experience.” He says that his bill is “a shot across the bow” of the drug companies. “You know enough is enough. This is inappropriate.”
Click here for source and video:
http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/05/07/erectile-dysfunction-ads-too-hot-for-tv/
If commercials such as these between two healthy, couples in love offends someone or is believed to be a bad influence on children, you should really talk openly to children about the facts of life and what love is. These ads are a good example of what a healthy relationship should be. Attempts to ban these messages and images are disgraceful and offensive to older adults and seniors and it also continues to hide older sexuality and intimacy from the public landscape which results in further denial , embarrassment and revulsion of society.
SageHealth Network
May 9, 2009
*******Carol Costello - Contributor, CNN's American MorningFiled under: Controversy
May 7, 2009
Rep. Jim Moran wants to limit the time of day ads for erectile dysfunction medicine can air on TV.
From CNN’s Bob Ruff
You’ve all seen them. Those ubiquitous TV ads where a simple little pill transforms a man suffering from erectile dysfunction, or ED, into a virile tiger who puts a smile on the face of his now beaming wife.
Well, Representative Jim Moran (D-VA) has seen them too, and you’d be hard pressed to see a smile on his face when he talks about the ads.“A number of people,” he says, “have come up, including colleagues, and said I’m fed up. I don’t want my three or four-year old grandkid asking me what erectile dysfunction is all about. And I don’t blame them.”
Enter H.R. 2175. That’s a bill that Rep. Moran introduced last month that would prohibit any ED ads from airing on broadcast radio and TV between 6AM and 10PM. The bill advises the Federal Communications Commission to treat these ads as “indecent” and instruct stations to restrict their broadcast to late night and overnight hours.
So, could it be adios to all of those “Viva Viagra” commercials that play on network television on weekends and during the evening? Could the same be said for the Cialis couple sitting in outdoor tubs looking out at the sunset? And could Levitra also be shunned to the overnight hours?
CNN asked Pfzier, which makes Viagra, the first pill available by prescription to treat ED, what they thought of Rep. Moran’s bill.
“Pfizer is committed to responsible advertising… In line with our policies and the policies of the industry, Viagra advertising is aired in shows most likely to reach men suffering from erectile dysfunction. ED can be a signal for other serious medical issues, including high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular disease.”
We asked several people on the streets of Atlanta for their opinions.
Nikia Clark, a mother of a 2-year-old, thinks “it’s a great idea.” She’s concerned that as her child gets older, she doesn’t want him “seeing those kinds of commercials… on regular network shows.”
Janice Habersham agrees. She says while the “ads are tastefully done” they shouldn’t be aired at “the time when children are watching TV.”
On the other hand, Bruce Jackson says ED ads “should be run 24 hours a day.” And Louis Tesser says banning the ads “is clearly unconstitutional… it’s a viewpoint. It’s something that people are interested in, and you can’t change that.”
Rep. Moran does have some perspective on the issue. “While it’s not as important as the economy, or what’s happening militarily around the world, it is an intrusion into the quality of life that we like to experience.” He says that his bill is “a shot across the bow” of the drug companies. “You know enough is enough. This is inappropriate.”
Click here for source and video:
http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/05/07/erectile-dysfunction-ads-too-hot-for-tv/
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