By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times
December 6, 2010
Sexual activity still ranks high on the list of older men's interests, according to a new study. While often ignored as important to well-being, the study found that even some men in their 90s remained sexually active or desired to be.
Researchers from the Western Australian Centre for Health and Ageing surveyed 2,783 men ages 75 to 95 three times over 13 years. Hormone levels were also measured during the second and three rounds of questioning. About one-third of the men reported a sexual encounter in the last year. Of those men, 43% said they had sex less often than they would like. About half of the men described sex as at least a somewhat important part of their lives. Only four men -- 0.5% -- said they had sex more often than they preferred.
Medical conditions that could interfere with sexual function were common, especially prostate-related diseases. Sexual activity declined with age; only 11% of men ages 90 to 95 said they had sex in the last 12 months compared with almost 40% of those ages 75 to 79. Of the men who had not engaged in sexual activity in the last year, physical problems or limitations were cited by almost half and lack of interest was reported by 41%. Almost 40% said their partner lacked interest or had physical limitations that interfered with sex.
Men with higher testosterone levels were more likely to be sexually active. More studies are needed to determine whether treatment with testosterone would improve sexual activity in men ages 75 and older, the authors said.
". . .the belief that sexuality is not a concern of older persons remains entrenched, and they are often overlooked in sexual health research," the authors wrote.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/sex.htm
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
New Rules for Dating After a Divorce
Third Age
The dance of dating has rules which provide common expectations between two strangers and limit the number of uncomfortable situations. After all, it can be disastrous when a man and his date have very different expectations about when he will get a kiss (or more), who will pay for dinner, and when to meet the parents. These rules are fairly simple for young people, with a primary purpose of preventing unwanted pregnancy.
Dating after divorce is far more complicated, involving big money, mortgages, career compatibility, integrating children, and emotional scars from being burned by a bad relationship. The game has changed for middle age dating, and so have the rules.
Know what you want
There seem to be two kinds of late-life daters: Those who want to marry again and those who absolutely refuse to consider the possibility. Know which type you are and don’t mix with the other kind because someone will get hurt. If you want to get married again, allow yourself to learn from the process of dating. After each date or relationship, take the time to think about what you liked or didn’t like in the relationship, and hone your list of desirable qualities in a mate.
Talk about religion, politics and money on the first date
At this stage of life, we have established world views which aren’t likely to change. Don’t waste time avoiding topics that help you understand the perspective and thinking process of your date. A Catholic Republican and a liberal Buddhist simply aren’t likely to click, and that’s okay.
Since money is the leading cause of divorce, you need to have a sense of your date’s spending habits, income and debt. No, you don’t need to ask outright. However, you can make some basic determinations as you learn about his career, his complaints about paying bills, and whether he winces when you order an appetizer or dessert.
Have the guts to ask the big questions
Life is too short and we are getting too old to wonder what our date is thinking, so ask. Ask everything you’ve always wanted to ask starting on the second date. Are you interested in marrying again someday? Do you want more children? What are your career goals? What do you think about me? You may have been terrified to ask these questions as a young adult, but maybe having asked these questions would have steered you away from a bad marriage. At this stage of life, there is no sense in wasting time. If your date is offended, then he or she is not serious, and that’s your cue to move on.
Protect the kids while testing your date
Every family therapist says that your kids don’t need to know about your dating life, so don’t introduce your kids to your date unless you are very serious. The problem with that approach, according to author and comedian Steve Harvey, is that you won’t know how your date truly reacts to children. He may say he wants your children, but he may run away screaming when he finally sees them in person. Harvey says you need to know before you invest too much time in a relationship. If you’re getting serious, arrange for your date to see your children in a public place where your children won’t notice him. A soccer game, a playground, church or a friend’s party all offer innocent ways for your date to see your children in action, and allow you to gauge his reaction.
Sex?
Because virginity and the newness of sex are long gone, there are few rules about sex when dating after divorce. When to have sex becomes a personal choice and ranges widely, so you need to know what your plans are. More spiritual individuals often choose to avoid sex until commitment, while others view it as yet another personality test, and fun to boot. It is certainly revealing to learn that your date has no idea how to sexually pleasure the opposite sex after years of marriage.
There are also conflicts over birth control methods. Many formerly-married men spent years having sex without condoms or have a vasectomy, and they detest using a condom. Yet the high rate of sexually transmitted diseases among divorced singles should be enough for you to think twice. Incessant demands may also providing interesting insights into your partner’s character.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source URL: http://www.thirdage.com/dating/dating-after-divorce
Article Source: McClatchy Tribune
The dance of dating has rules which provide common expectations between two strangers and limit the number of uncomfortable situations. After all, it can be disastrous when a man and his date have very different expectations about when he will get a kiss (or more), who will pay for dinner, and when to meet the parents. These rules are fairly simple for young people, with a primary purpose of preventing unwanted pregnancy.
Dating after divorce is far more complicated, involving big money, mortgages, career compatibility, integrating children, and emotional scars from being burned by a bad relationship. The game has changed for middle age dating, and so have the rules.
Know what you want
There seem to be two kinds of late-life daters: Those who want to marry again and those who absolutely refuse to consider the possibility. Know which type you are and don’t mix with the other kind because someone will get hurt. If you want to get married again, allow yourself to learn from the process of dating. After each date or relationship, take the time to think about what you liked or didn’t like in the relationship, and hone your list of desirable qualities in a mate.
Talk about religion, politics and money on the first date
At this stage of life, we have established world views which aren’t likely to change. Don’t waste time avoiding topics that help you understand the perspective and thinking process of your date. A Catholic Republican and a liberal Buddhist simply aren’t likely to click, and that’s okay.
Since money is the leading cause of divorce, you need to have a sense of your date’s spending habits, income and debt. No, you don’t need to ask outright. However, you can make some basic determinations as you learn about his career, his complaints about paying bills, and whether he winces when you order an appetizer or dessert.
Have the guts to ask the big questions
Life is too short and we are getting too old to wonder what our date is thinking, so ask. Ask everything you’ve always wanted to ask starting on the second date. Are you interested in marrying again someday? Do you want more children? What are your career goals? What do you think about me? You may have been terrified to ask these questions as a young adult, but maybe having asked these questions would have steered you away from a bad marriage. At this stage of life, there is no sense in wasting time. If your date is offended, then he or she is not serious, and that’s your cue to move on.
Protect the kids while testing your date
Every family therapist says that your kids don’t need to know about your dating life, so don’t introduce your kids to your date unless you are very serious. The problem with that approach, according to author and comedian Steve Harvey, is that you won’t know how your date truly reacts to children. He may say he wants your children, but he may run away screaming when he finally sees them in person. Harvey says you need to know before you invest too much time in a relationship. If you’re getting serious, arrange for your date to see your children in a public place where your children won’t notice him. A soccer game, a playground, church or a friend’s party all offer innocent ways for your date to see your children in action, and allow you to gauge his reaction.
Sex?
Because virginity and the newness of sex are long gone, there are few rules about sex when dating after divorce. When to have sex becomes a personal choice and ranges widely, so you need to know what your plans are. More spiritual individuals often choose to avoid sex until commitment, while others view it as yet another personality test, and fun to boot. It is certainly revealing to learn that your date has no idea how to sexually pleasure the opposite sex after years of marriage.
There are also conflicts over birth control methods. Many formerly-married men spent years having sex without condoms or have a vasectomy, and they detest using a condom. Yet the high rate of sexually transmitted diseases among divorced singles should be enough for you to think twice. Incessant demands may also providing interesting insights into your partner’s character.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source URL: http://www.thirdage.com/dating/dating-after-divorce
Article Source: McClatchy Tribune
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bawdy boomers often cast condoms, caution to wind: survey
By Pamela Fayerman, Postmedia News
Ottawa Citizen
VANCOUVER — Baby boomers — especially those newly single — are rediscovering their zest for sex as their children are leaving the nest, a new national survey shows.
But they aren't always practising what they preach to their kids when it comes to safe sex: 70 per cent of survey respondents say they tell their kids to practise safe sex, yet 30 per cent of unmarried boomers admit they've had unprotected sex with a new partner.
An equal proportion said they aren't worried about contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
According to the survey, commissioned by the Canadian Liver Foundation (CLF), those aged 46 to 64 are boldly going where they likely told their kids not to — with one-night stands, multiple sex partners, online dating and failing to use condoms.
"Perhaps it's not surprising that there is a lot of risk-taking going on, judging by the frequent commercials for (male-impotence) products on . . . apple pie mainstream shows like Hockey Night in Canada," said Dr. Eric Yoshida, University of B.C. head of gastroenterology, who is also chair of the CLF medical advisory committee.
Yoshida's patients are those with advancing liver disease, many of whom don't even realize they might have contracted hepatitis from sex or that the main three types of the virus (A, B and C) can be transmitted through sex.
Apart from using condoms for protection, there are vaccines to prevent hepatitis A and B, but not for C. Across Canada, there are 250,000 cases of hepatitis C.
Yoshida said 45 per cent of hepatitis B infections are diagnosed in baby boomers.
Younger people have a much lower risk of getting it because of immunization programs for infants and school-age children.
Newly single baby boomers who have been out of the dating scene should realize the risk of contracting several types of sexually transmitted infections, he said. But the national survey of nearly 1,000 baby boomers found that many people are naive about this.
While the liver foundation is mostly concerned with hepatitis as an STI, public health agencies like the BC Centre for Disease Control track other reportable STI's like HIV/AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. STIs like herpes and HPV (human papillomavirus) are considered common but aren't subject to mandatory reporting.
Dr. Mark Gilbert, physician epidemiologist at BCCDC, said baby boomers who are being bolder about their sexual behaviours constitute one factor driving the rising incidence of some STIs — but does more frequent testing.
"There is a need for anyone, regardless of age, to think about STIs because people can get infected at any age," he said, adding that even though baby boomers may not worry about pregnancy, condoms are the best insurance against STIs.
If baby boomers are in new relationships or having sex with multiple partners, they should tell their doctors so that they can do routine screening for such infections, he suggested.
According to the 2009 BCCDC STI surveillance report, there were 11,173 new cases of genital chlamydia in B.C. (including 320 women over age 40 and 458 men); 1,307 cases of gonorrhea, (50 women over age 40 and 244 men); 216 cases of syphilis (eight women over 40 and 83 men); 338 cases of HIV (29 women over age 40 and 145 men); and 91 new cases of AIDS (20 women over age 40 and 55 men).
The survey of 877 baby boomers' sexual behaviours and attitudes was sponsored by GlaxoSmithKline, one of the makers of hepatitis vaccines. The sponsorship was given as an unrestricted grant to CLF.
Leger Marketing says the survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points and is considered accurate 19 times out of 20.
Some of the findings in the survey:
-82 per cent of baby boomers believe it's important to have an active sex life at every age.
- 57 per cent feel freer about sex.
- 81 per cent say it's important their kids use protection during sex; 70 per cent have doled out such advice.
- 16 per cent admit they don't always follow their own advice to practise safe sex.
- 30 per cent of unmarried boomers have had unprotected sex with a new partner.
- 33 per cent of unmarried boomers have done online dating.
- 40 per cent of men and five per cent of women are open to one-night stands.
Original link: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/story.html?id=3624878
Ottawa Citizen
VANCOUVER — Baby boomers — especially those newly single — are rediscovering their zest for sex as their children are leaving the nest, a new national survey shows.
But they aren't always practising what they preach to their kids when it comes to safe sex: 70 per cent of survey respondents say they tell their kids to practise safe sex, yet 30 per cent of unmarried boomers admit they've had unprotected sex with a new partner.
An equal proportion said they aren't worried about contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
According to the survey, commissioned by the Canadian Liver Foundation (CLF), those aged 46 to 64 are boldly going where they likely told their kids not to — with one-night stands, multiple sex partners, online dating and failing to use condoms.
"Perhaps it's not surprising that there is a lot of risk-taking going on, judging by the frequent commercials for (male-impotence) products on . . . apple pie mainstream shows like Hockey Night in Canada," said Dr. Eric Yoshida, University of B.C. head of gastroenterology, who is also chair of the CLF medical advisory committee.
Yoshida's patients are those with advancing liver disease, many of whom don't even realize they might have contracted hepatitis from sex or that the main three types of the virus (A, B and C) can be transmitted through sex.
Apart from using condoms for protection, there are vaccines to prevent hepatitis A and B, but not for C. Across Canada, there are 250,000 cases of hepatitis C.
Yoshida said 45 per cent of hepatitis B infections are diagnosed in baby boomers.
Younger people have a much lower risk of getting it because of immunization programs for infants and school-age children.
Newly single baby boomers who have been out of the dating scene should realize the risk of contracting several types of sexually transmitted infections, he said. But the national survey of nearly 1,000 baby boomers found that many people are naive about this.
While the liver foundation is mostly concerned with hepatitis as an STI, public health agencies like the BC Centre for Disease Control track other reportable STI's like HIV/AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. STIs like herpes and HPV (human papillomavirus) are considered common but aren't subject to mandatory reporting.
Dr. Mark Gilbert, physician epidemiologist at BCCDC, said baby boomers who are being bolder about their sexual behaviours constitute one factor driving the rising incidence of some STIs — but does more frequent testing.
"There is a need for anyone, regardless of age, to think about STIs because people can get infected at any age," he said, adding that even though baby boomers may not worry about pregnancy, condoms are the best insurance against STIs.
If baby boomers are in new relationships or having sex with multiple partners, they should tell their doctors so that they can do routine screening for such infections, he suggested.
According to the 2009 BCCDC STI surveillance report, there were 11,173 new cases of genital chlamydia in B.C. (including 320 women over age 40 and 458 men); 1,307 cases of gonorrhea, (50 women over age 40 and 244 men); 216 cases of syphilis (eight women over 40 and 83 men); 338 cases of HIV (29 women over age 40 and 145 men); and 91 new cases of AIDS (20 women over age 40 and 55 men).
The survey of 877 baby boomers' sexual behaviours and attitudes was sponsored by GlaxoSmithKline, one of the makers of hepatitis vaccines. The sponsorship was given as an unrestricted grant to CLF.
Leger Marketing says the survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points and is considered accurate 19 times out of 20.
Some of the findings in the survey:
-82 per cent of baby boomers believe it's important to have an active sex life at every age.
- 57 per cent feel freer about sex.
- 81 per cent say it's important their kids use protection during sex; 70 per cent have doled out such advice.
- 16 per cent admit they don't always follow their own advice to practise safe sex.
- 30 per cent of unmarried boomers have had unprotected sex with a new partner.
- 33 per cent of unmarried boomers have done online dating.
- 40 per cent of men and five per cent of women are open to one-night stands.
Original link: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/story.html?id=3624878
Saturday, October 2, 2010
National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day is September 18, 2010
By Elizabeth Batt, September 14, 2010
September 18, 2010 marks the 3rd annual National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day. The campaign highlights complex issues of HIV in aging populations.
In a statement released on September 13, 2010, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), issued details about the third National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day. Set to take place on September 18, 2010, the campaign focuses on challenges that older people infected with HIV or AIDS currently face. With the emphasis on research, development and quality of life issues, the NIH and other government entities, hope to raise awareness for the virus nationwide.
People with HIV infections are now living longer but aging faster
Changes to the way HIV is being treated allows many HIV individuals to live into their 50s and beyond. The use of powerful combinations of antiretroviral drugs, which suppress HIV replication, is keeping the HIV virus in check for many and is preventing progression to AIDS. Unfortunately, says the institute, treatments are causing a growing number of HIV-infected adults in their 40s and 50s to experience symptoms resembling premature aging.
Premature aging, reports the institute, is just one issue of many caused by extended exposure to HIV and antiretroviral drugs. Long-term, HIV adults face increased risk of illness and death from cardiovascular, bone, kidney, liver and lung diseases as well as many cancers. With HIV progressing more quickly in older groups, it's important says the institute, that HIV testing is encouraged in older groups, particularly as an early diagnosis lessens the risk of progression to AIDS in older adults.
New AIDS cases rising faster in middle-aged and older people than those under 40
The National Institute on Aging (NIA) says that almost one quarter of all people in the US with HIV/AIDS are aged 50 and older. Furthermore, adds the NIA, new AIDS cases are on the rise for this age group, which has now surpassed the 40s age group in testing positive. Reasons for the rise, says the NIA, is partly due to a lack of awareness of HIV/AIDS, and partly due to embarrassment. Older generations are less inclined to publicly share details of their drug use or sex lives and health care workers seem reluctant to ask.
Reticence by both patient and doctor, says the NIH, results in older people with HIV completely unaware that they carry the virus. As a result, family members are also placed at risk and early treatment of the virus with antiretroviral drugs is prevented. Minus drug combinations, HIV progresses faster, eventually evolving into AIDS. The NIH therefore is urging all individuals to emphasize the importance of testing and knowledge for older adults.
Helping in the fight against HIV and AIDS
AIDS.gov is asking local organizations to get involved on September 18, and offers several options for promoting the fight against HIV and AIDS at Aids.gov. Ideas on event hosting for National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day include town hall meetings with local media and school participation. Organizations may also want to consider arranging for free HIV testing coupled with incentives to boost turnout.
Testing for HIV is a simple procedure, says the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), who report that 97% of persons develop detectable antibodies within the first three months of contracting HIV.
Untested and minus treatment, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus attacks so many CD4+ T blood cells, that it leaves people vulnerable to infection and consequently AIDS. With early treatment, reports the CDC, HIV-related illness and AIDS can be prevented for several years.
Sources: National Institutes of Health; Nih.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Centers for Disease Control; Cdc.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
National Institute on Aging; Nia.hih.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Aids.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/18.htm
September 18, 2010 marks the 3rd annual National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day. The campaign highlights complex issues of HIV in aging populations.
In a statement released on September 13, 2010, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), issued details about the third National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day. Set to take place on September 18, 2010, the campaign focuses on challenges that older people infected with HIV or AIDS currently face. With the emphasis on research, development and quality of life issues, the NIH and other government entities, hope to raise awareness for the virus nationwide.
People with HIV infections are now living longer but aging faster
Changes to the way HIV is being treated allows many HIV individuals to live into their 50s and beyond. The use of powerful combinations of antiretroviral drugs, which suppress HIV replication, is keeping the HIV virus in check for many and is preventing progression to AIDS. Unfortunately, says the institute, treatments are causing a growing number of HIV-infected adults in their 40s and 50s to experience symptoms resembling premature aging.
Premature aging, reports the institute, is just one issue of many caused by extended exposure to HIV and antiretroviral drugs. Long-term, HIV adults face increased risk of illness and death from cardiovascular, bone, kidney, liver and lung diseases as well as many cancers. With HIV progressing more quickly in older groups, it's important says the institute, that HIV testing is encouraged in older groups, particularly as an early diagnosis lessens the risk of progression to AIDS in older adults.
New AIDS cases rising faster in middle-aged and older people than those under 40
The National Institute on Aging (NIA) says that almost one quarter of all people in the US with HIV/AIDS are aged 50 and older. Furthermore, adds the NIA, new AIDS cases are on the rise for this age group, which has now surpassed the 40s age group in testing positive. Reasons for the rise, says the NIA, is partly due to a lack of awareness of HIV/AIDS, and partly due to embarrassment. Older generations are less inclined to publicly share details of their drug use or sex lives and health care workers seem reluctant to ask.
Reticence by both patient and doctor, says the NIH, results in older people with HIV completely unaware that they carry the virus. As a result, family members are also placed at risk and early treatment of the virus with antiretroviral drugs is prevented. Minus drug combinations, HIV progresses faster, eventually evolving into AIDS. The NIH therefore is urging all individuals to emphasize the importance of testing and knowledge for older adults.
Helping in the fight against HIV and AIDS
AIDS.gov is asking local organizations to get involved on September 18, and offers several options for promoting the fight against HIV and AIDS at Aids.gov. Ideas on event hosting for National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day include town hall meetings with local media and school participation. Organizations may also want to consider arranging for free HIV testing coupled with incentives to boost turnout.
Testing for HIV is a simple procedure, says the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), who report that 97% of persons develop detectable antibodies within the first three months of contracting HIV.
Untested and minus treatment, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus attacks so many CD4+ T blood cells, that it leaves people vulnerable to infection and consequently AIDS. With early treatment, reports the CDC, HIV-related illness and AIDS can be prevented for several years.
Sources: National Institutes of Health; Nih.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Centers for Disease Control; Cdc.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
National Institute on Aging; Nia.hih.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Aids.gov; (accessed Sep. 13, 2010).
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/18.htm
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Talking Sex at York West
I presented on seniors' safer sex tips on September 9th at the York West Open House.There were about 60 people sitting in the audience and milling about. It was alot of fun! I love doing what I do. Where else can you talk about sex and condoms and lubricants and make bawdy quips? It's a pretty enjoyable and liberating way to get people's attention focused on the facts of safer sex.
The audience enjoyed the frank discussion on sexuality. For the added oomph, I pulled out the bananas and persuaded the participants to give it a try. Guffaws, jokes, red faces.....no one returned my half dozen bananas by the way! As long as they go to a good home and provide fun memories for the rest of their shelf life--I'm happy.
I also had a table with condoms and lubricants for passers by. The interesting thing is that these passers by fell into two distinct groups: 1) those who picked them up, realizing they were condoms and quickly threw them back in the basket as if their hands were burned by fire, and 2) those who picked them up, realized they were condoms, picked up a couple more and put them in the bag.
One woman stopped at my table, smiled, and held her bag open at the edge of the table very discreetly. I slipped some condoms into her bag so no one could see.
I had an interesting, telltale exchange with one older woman:
Woman: What are these?
Me: Condoms. Have a couple.
Woman: Oh I don't need them, I have a boyfriend.
Me: So! Take a few
Woman: He doesn't need them... He's 86.
Me: So.....take some!
I enjoyed meeting the clients and exhibitors at the event. My thanks to the staff at York West Active Living Centre for inviting me to partipate in their open house.
The audience enjoyed the frank discussion on sexuality. For the added oomph, I pulled out the bananas and persuaded the participants to give it a try. Guffaws, jokes, red faces.....no one returned my half dozen bananas by the way! As long as they go to a good home and provide fun memories for the rest of their shelf life--I'm happy.
I also had a table with condoms and lubricants for passers by. The interesting thing is that these passers by fell into two distinct groups: 1) those who picked them up, realizing they were condoms and quickly threw them back in the basket as if their hands were burned by fire, and 2) those who picked them up, realized they were condoms, picked up a couple more and put them in the bag.
One woman stopped at my table, smiled, and held her bag open at the edge of the table very discreetly. I slipped some condoms into her bag so no one could see.
I had an interesting, telltale exchange with one older woman:
Woman: What are these?
Me: Condoms. Have a couple.
Woman: Oh I don't need them, I have a boyfriend.
Me: So! Take a few
Woman: He doesn't need them... He's 86.
Me: So.....take some!
I enjoyed meeting the clients and exhibitors at the event. My thanks to the staff at York West Active Living Centre for inviting me to partipate in their open house.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only
July 28, 2010
by Peggy Brick
This is an invitation to join the new sexual revolution—the one validating the sexuality of people in mid and later life. This revolution challenges the old mores and encourages both men and women to re-envision their sexuality by exploring new ways of being sexual as they age. Knowledgeable professionals are key to this vital social change: in giving permission, providing information, and offering specific suggestions that enable people to overcome barriers to sexual health and happiness. It’s a movement whose time has come as the baby boomers—and their parents—increasingly assume their right to remain sexual.
Ideally sexual reeducation will begin when people are in their forties, before loss of an erection causes men to panic and fear of reoccurrence becomes self-fulfilling, before women internalize old menopause myths. My undocumented hypothesis (after thirty years as a sexuality educator and eleven years focused on sexuality and aging) is that when people become sexually smarter—understand normal life changes, examine sexual scripts, and discover the many ways of keeping their sexuality alive—many of the sexual problems common in later life will disappear.
If you believe you will some day be fifty—or eighty—start with educating yourself about the changes you can expect: physical, psychological, social; explore the resources available; if possible, take a workshop. If you choose to go to counseling, ask your therapist for suggested books, films, and websites. Seek workshops at community centers, adult schools, churches, synagogues, and mosques, and if you cannot find any, consider organizing one. My new manual, Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only provides a full annotated bibliography plus step-by-step directions and handouts that enable a facilitator who is comfortable talking about sexuality to provide exciting interactive sessions.
If you decide to lead a group, be sure to start with jokes—the web is full of jokes making fun of the very idea of older people being sexual. Jokes enable us to laugh at the stereotypes that perpetuate images of non-sexual or foolishly sexual older people. The laughter reduces anxiety, begins to build a sense of community, and starts the process of examining our sexual attitudes, values, and beliefs. The goal is to evaluate “sexual scripts,” those ingrained social messages that we have learned from birth, especially those about sexuality and aging. When we consider the facts about our changing bodies, changing relationships, and changing lives, we can envision ways to continue to enjoy our sexuality into the future.
In any group anonymous questions are the key to understanding the concerns of participants. As a workshop facilitator I have responded to common ones such as these: How soon is too soon in a new relationship? Oral sex: should it be expected? Should it be offered? How can I adjust to my partner’s physical handicaps? Can you discuss female orgasm? What about sexual deprivation from loss of a partner (divorce or death)? How can I get my partner to communicate? And my favorite from a twelve session course at the Academy of Lifelong Learning, University of Delaware: What about the men in this course who have not told their wives they’re taking it?!
When I tell people I teach about sexuality and aging, there are two typical responses: “Oh!” (end of discussion) and, “Oh, good. I hear there’s a lot of HIV in some of those retirement communities!” This assumes the old prevention model of sex education. Surely “safer sex” is important, but it warrants only one (albeit very comprehensive) lesson in Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter. Twenty-nine other lessons recognize the multiple issues that participants identify, including: early learning that discourages communication, masturbation, and female initiatives; the awesome changes in sexual attitudes, beliefs, and values during the beyond-sixty-five years; bodily changes that require new positions and new expectations; the grand possibility of “outercourse” with the potential of solving all those unenthusiastic erections; special problems for people with disabilities and chronic illness; children’s negative responses to a parent’s new relationship; the medicalization of sex by pharmaceutical companies; the media’s fascination with young bodies; and the brave new world of cyber sex.
Everyone can create opportunities. Living in a continuing care retirement community, I have many. One of my favorites is when a new couple (labeled “an item” means this relationship is serious!) asks to borrow some of my books or videos. Or, when a resident asks me to join her in urging the heath services nurse to recommend masturbation to help women sleep. Or, I may simply challenge a friend’s comment, “Oh! I’m too old for that!” So, I welcome news about how you promote education for sexuality in mid and later life as we join in this movement that, at last, acknowledges humans are sexual from birth to death.
Peggy Brick is a sexuality education consultant, specializing in sexuality through the lifespan including mid- and later-life. She is the recipient of numerous awards, including the National Family Planning & Reproductive Health Association’s Outstanding Educator Award and Robert Wood Johnson Medical School’s Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Field of Human Sexuality. She is the co-author of Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only.
Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/
by Peggy Brick
This is an invitation to join the new sexual revolution—the one validating the sexuality of people in mid and later life. This revolution challenges the old mores and encourages both men and women to re-envision their sexuality by exploring new ways of being sexual as they age. Knowledgeable professionals are key to this vital social change: in giving permission, providing information, and offering specific suggestions that enable people to overcome barriers to sexual health and happiness. It’s a movement whose time has come as the baby boomers—and their parents—increasingly assume their right to remain sexual.
Ideally sexual reeducation will begin when people are in their forties, before loss of an erection causes men to panic and fear of reoccurrence becomes self-fulfilling, before women internalize old menopause myths. My undocumented hypothesis (after thirty years as a sexuality educator and eleven years focused on sexuality and aging) is that when people become sexually smarter—understand normal life changes, examine sexual scripts, and discover the many ways of keeping their sexuality alive—many of the sexual problems common in later life will disappear.
If you believe you will some day be fifty—or eighty—start with educating yourself about the changes you can expect: physical, psychological, social; explore the resources available; if possible, take a workshop. If you choose to go to counseling, ask your therapist for suggested books, films, and websites. Seek workshops at community centers, adult schools, churches, synagogues, and mosques, and if you cannot find any, consider organizing one. My new manual, Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only provides a full annotated bibliography plus step-by-step directions and handouts that enable a facilitator who is comfortable talking about sexuality to provide exciting interactive sessions.
If you decide to lead a group, be sure to start with jokes—the web is full of jokes making fun of the very idea of older people being sexual. Jokes enable us to laugh at the stereotypes that perpetuate images of non-sexual or foolishly sexual older people. The laughter reduces anxiety, begins to build a sense of community, and starts the process of examining our sexual attitudes, values, and beliefs. The goal is to evaluate “sexual scripts,” those ingrained social messages that we have learned from birth, especially those about sexuality and aging. When we consider the facts about our changing bodies, changing relationships, and changing lives, we can envision ways to continue to enjoy our sexuality into the future.
In any group anonymous questions are the key to understanding the concerns of participants. As a workshop facilitator I have responded to common ones such as these: How soon is too soon in a new relationship? Oral sex: should it be expected? Should it be offered? How can I adjust to my partner’s physical handicaps? Can you discuss female orgasm? What about sexual deprivation from loss of a partner (divorce or death)? How can I get my partner to communicate? And my favorite from a twelve session course at the Academy of Lifelong Learning, University of Delaware: What about the men in this course who have not told their wives they’re taking it?!
When I tell people I teach about sexuality and aging, there are two typical responses: “Oh!” (end of discussion) and, “Oh, good. I hear there’s a lot of HIV in some of those retirement communities!” This assumes the old prevention model of sex education. Surely “safer sex” is important, but it warrants only one (albeit very comprehensive) lesson in Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter. Twenty-nine other lessons recognize the multiple issues that participants identify, including: early learning that discourages communication, masturbation, and female initiatives; the awesome changes in sexual attitudes, beliefs, and values during the beyond-sixty-five years; bodily changes that require new positions and new expectations; the grand possibility of “outercourse” with the potential of solving all those unenthusiastic erections; special problems for people with disabilities and chronic illness; children’s negative responses to a parent’s new relationship; the medicalization of sex by pharmaceutical companies; the media’s fascination with young bodies; and the brave new world of cyber sex.
Everyone can create opportunities. Living in a continuing care retirement community, I have many. One of my favorites is when a new couple (labeled “an item” means this relationship is serious!) asks to borrow some of my books or videos. Or, when a resident asks me to join her in urging the heath services nurse to recommend masturbation to help women sleep. Or, I may simply challenge a friend’s comment, “Oh! I’m too old for that!” So, I welcome news about how you promote education for sexuality in mid and later life as we join in this movement that, at last, acknowledges humans are sexual from birth to death.
Peggy Brick is a sexuality education consultant, specializing in sexuality through the lifespan including mid- and later-life. She is the recipient of numerous awards, including the National Family Planning & Reproductive Health Association’s Outstanding Educator Award and Robert Wood Johnson Medical School’s Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Field of Human Sexuality. She is the co-author of Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only.
Source: http://nsrc.sfsu.edu/
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Aging Gracefully, the French Way
By Ann M. Morrisson, NYTimes
July 14, 2010,
France
I often see an elderly woman in my Paris neighborhood waltzing down the street to her own imagined music, flashing a slightly demented smile at everyone she passes. Anywhere else, I would cross the street to avoid her. But she always wears a matching, if slightly kooky, outfit — like the red print skirt, loose cardigan and scarlet cloche hat she wore one day this spring — has great posture and is beautifully made up.
She clearly loves being herself. And she makes me think that in France, women might forget everything else as they age — but never their sense of style.
If there is a secret to aging well, Frenchwomen must know it. At least that’s what Americans think. We look at actresses like Juliette Binoche, 46, or politicians like Ségolène Royal, 56, or superstars like Catherine Deneuve, 66, and figure that they must have special insights into the “maturation” process.
And even the average Frenchwoman — say, shopping along the Rue du Faubourg St.-Honoré or enjoying a leisurely lunch on the Left Bank, or strolling through the Luxembourg Gardens — seems to defy the notion that, as one grows older, you either have to disguise that process with Botox, eye-lifts, lip plumpers and all sorts of procedures that convey a desperate “youthful” look, or else just give up altogether and let the ravages of time take their toll.
But do these women really have the answers when it comes to the aging process?
Women on both sides of the Atlantic realize that the keys to aging well are obvious, but challenging if you have bad genes, spend too much time in the sun or smoke a lot. But while American women, like me at least, approach personal care with practical efficiency, the Frenchwomen I know regard the pampering of the skin, hair and body as an enjoyable, gratifying ritual.
Looking attractive, at any age, is just what Frenchwomen do, especially the urban ones. For Parisiennes, maintaining their image is as natural as tying a perfect scarf or wearing stilettos on cobblestone streets. Beauty is a tradition handed down from generation to generation. “My grandmother always told me, ‘Never neglect yourself, not even in the tiniest details,’ ” my friend Françoise Augier said, with a sweeping head-to-toe gesture. The French actress Leslie Caron, still Gigi-like at 79, told me her mother’s favorite saying: “Women’s skin is too fair to go bare.”
Not that French adolescents are any more likely than their American counterparts to heed their mothers’ advice. My neighborhood esthetician, Martine, is concerned that so many of her young clients (age 12 and up) go outdoors without sunscreen. Maybe she shouldn’t worry. A survey by the market research company Mintel found that 33 percent of French girls between 15 and 19 are already using anti-aging or anti-wrinkle creams.
Though Frenchmen are clearly interested — they shamelessly ogle women on the street — beauty is a female topic. When, over dinner, I asked a grandmother of three how she managed to stay beautiful, she deflected my question, saying, “I never discuss these things in front of my husband.”
The No. 1 response to my informal survey of Frenchwomen about the years of magical aging is not gaining weight. Ever. If a Frenchwoman happens to see an additional kilogram or two on her bathroom scale, she will do whatever is necessary to force the needle back where it belongs. “I keep my weight steady, no ups and downs,” Ms. Caron said. “I avoid all excess.” She claims to eat all kinds of food in small — her friends say minuscule — portions, and she doesn’t drink alcohol. It’s not so much that “French Women Don’t Get Fat,” as the title of Mireille Guiliano’s best seller had it. Rather, Frenchwomen won’t get fat.
Not that they exercise. When my husband and I arrived in Paris and asked our personal banker — everyone has one — for a gym recommendation, her response was: “Why? Gyms are a form of torture.” It seems the only acceptable way to burn calories is to walk.
If Frenchwomen don’t walk enough to stay en forme, there is always a pill, a lotion, a machine or a treatment to do the trick. Pharmacies have counters full of diet and figure-improving remedies. One cream promises “accelerated reduction in the areas resistant to diet” (hips, thighs and buttocks). Capsules assure a flatter stomach in four weeks. A poster recently plastered all over Paris Métro stations advertises a tiny Slendertone “Electronic Muscle Stimulation” belt that claims to provide, in a single session, the equivalent of 120 abdominal crunches. (It’s available in the United States, too.)
Frenchwomen also recommend facials, massages and spa “cures” in their campaign against wrinkles, cellulite and saggy bottoms, bellies and breasts. One spa favorite is thalassotherapy, the seawater-based treatment that originated in France. It involves water jets, seaweed wraps, mud baths and sea-fog inhalation, meant to improve circulation, promote sleep, tone muscles and reduce cellulite.
Some women are resourceful enough — or have legitimate medical reasons, like arthritis — to get doctors’ prescriptions for weeks at their favorite spa. That means government health insurance covers much of the bill.
As for makeup, Frenchwomen of almost every age (except those teenagers) regard less as best. Heavy foundation has a tendency to emphasize wrinkles and pores, and most women avoid it in favor of a bit of blush. Those who do use foundation make sure that it blends with the skin, often by applying it just after moisturizing. The idea is to look as natural as possible: a little color on the eyelids, mascara, maybe a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss.
Of course, it’s easy to look natural if your skin is great. And that may be where the French secrets really are. According to a 2008 Mintel report, Frenchwomen spend about $2.2 billion a year on facial skin care — as much as Spanish, German and British women put together. If you happen to use the bathroom in a French home — something that is not considered polite, by the way — you might see a line of skin care products rivaling a shelf at Duane Reade.
There will be day creams (with sunscreen), night creams (without it), re-pulping creams, serums, moisturizers, cleansers, toners and salves for anything from orange-peel skin to varicose veins. But you might not find much soap. Ms. Caron says she doesn’t use it on her face or her body (except for “certain places”). Madame Figaro magazine recently quoted the French actress and TV presenter Léa Drucker as saying, “The day I stopped using soap, my life changed.” Post-transformation, she uses a hydrating cream.
As in America, some women in France turn to dermatologists for their skin care, and their visits are likely to be covered by health insurance. Even the generous French system does not pay for Botox, collagen or hyaluronan injections, nor for “lifting” and most other cosmetic surgery.
That doesn’t stop Frenchwomen from having “something done.”
The objective of plastic surgery in France, according to Dr. Michel Soussaline, a Paris surgeon with more than 30 years of experience, is “to keep the natural beauty and charm of each individual woman, not to fit some current ideal of beauty.” After all, trends change. In the United States, he says, women who spend a lot of money on face-lifts want to show off their investments. (Maybe that explains the pumped-up lips and smooth cheeks that the American actress Ellen Barkin, 56, recently displayed on the Cannes red carpet.)
By contrast, Frenchwomen prefer results that look as natural as possible. (Cannes photos of Isabelle Huppert, 57, show elegant, un-enhanced aging.) In France, I have only one friend who has confessed to having had surgery, a discreet operation to firm up a sagging chin and flabby neck. She is thrilled with the result: no one notices.
Hair rituals come in two kinds: getting rid of the unwanted stuff on legs and underarms (older women tend to prefer depilatories), and making the most of what’s on top of the head. That means a good cut every three to four weeks, and a reasonably natural color. A plethora of beauty salons (50 of them in my arrondissement) and mostly low prices (as little as 18 euros, or about $22, for a cut, shampoo and blow-dry) make frequent hair maintenance easy.
Frenchwomen use conditioners and other post-shampoo treatments, followed by a cold-water rinse. “It helps the circulation,” said a friend.
Of course, the whole idea that Frenchwomen age better than Americans is debatable. Obesity rates are rising in France, though they are still far lower than in the United States. And not every movie star or politician remains ageless.
The midcentury sex symbol Brigitte Bardot, now 75, is gray, wrinkly and overweight. Martine Aubry, the chubby head of the French Socialist Party and almost 60, is not known for her sense of style. And when I asked Katie Breen, a Frenchwoman who is a former editor at Marie Claire magazine, to name a woman who had aged particularly well, her answer was decidedly un-French: Meryl Streep.
For Frenchwomen, aging seems to be a matter of mind over makeup. If women feel good about themselves, right down to their La Perla 100-euro panties, they look good, too. Françoise Sagan once wrote, “There is a certain age when a woman must be beautiful to be loved, and then there comes a time when she must be loved to be beautiful.” And many Frenchwomen seem to be well loved as they get older — by their tight-knit families, their friends and, perhaps most importantly, themselves. Case in point: my loony neighbor — completely coordinated, perfectly made up, thoroughly French.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/world/2010/grace.htm
July 14, 2010,
France
I often see an elderly woman in my Paris neighborhood waltzing down the street to her own imagined music, flashing a slightly demented smile at everyone she passes. Anywhere else, I would cross the street to avoid her. But she always wears a matching, if slightly kooky, outfit — like the red print skirt, loose cardigan and scarlet cloche hat she wore one day this spring — has great posture and is beautifully made up.
She clearly loves being herself. And she makes me think that in France, women might forget everything else as they age — but never their sense of style.
If there is a secret to aging well, Frenchwomen must know it. At least that’s what Americans think. We look at actresses like Juliette Binoche, 46, or politicians like Ségolène Royal, 56, or superstars like Catherine Deneuve, 66, and figure that they must have special insights into the “maturation” process.
And even the average Frenchwoman — say, shopping along the Rue du Faubourg St.-Honoré or enjoying a leisurely lunch on the Left Bank, or strolling through the Luxembourg Gardens — seems to defy the notion that, as one grows older, you either have to disguise that process with Botox, eye-lifts, lip plumpers and all sorts of procedures that convey a desperate “youthful” look, or else just give up altogether and let the ravages of time take their toll.
But do these women really have the answers when it comes to the aging process?
Women on both sides of the Atlantic realize that the keys to aging well are obvious, but challenging if you have bad genes, spend too much time in the sun or smoke a lot. But while American women, like me at least, approach personal care with practical efficiency, the Frenchwomen I know regard the pampering of the skin, hair and body as an enjoyable, gratifying ritual.
Looking attractive, at any age, is just what Frenchwomen do, especially the urban ones. For Parisiennes, maintaining their image is as natural as tying a perfect scarf or wearing stilettos on cobblestone streets. Beauty is a tradition handed down from generation to generation. “My grandmother always told me, ‘Never neglect yourself, not even in the tiniest details,’ ” my friend Françoise Augier said, with a sweeping head-to-toe gesture. The French actress Leslie Caron, still Gigi-like at 79, told me her mother’s favorite saying: “Women’s skin is too fair to go bare.”
Not that French adolescents are any more likely than their American counterparts to heed their mothers’ advice. My neighborhood esthetician, Martine, is concerned that so many of her young clients (age 12 and up) go outdoors without sunscreen. Maybe she shouldn’t worry. A survey by the market research company Mintel found that 33 percent of French girls between 15 and 19 are already using anti-aging or anti-wrinkle creams.
Though Frenchmen are clearly interested — they shamelessly ogle women on the street — beauty is a female topic. When, over dinner, I asked a grandmother of three how she managed to stay beautiful, she deflected my question, saying, “I never discuss these things in front of my husband.”
The No. 1 response to my informal survey of Frenchwomen about the years of magical aging is not gaining weight. Ever. If a Frenchwoman happens to see an additional kilogram or two on her bathroom scale, she will do whatever is necessary to force the needle back where it belongs. “I keep my weight steady, no ups and downs,” Ms. Caron said. “I avoid all excess.” She claims to eat all kinds of food in small — her friends say minuscule — portions, and she doesn’t drink alcohol. It’s not so much that “French Women Don’t Get Fat,” as the title of Mireille Guiliano’s best seller had it. Rather, Frenchwomen won’t get fat.
Not that they exercise. When my husband and I arrived in Paris and asked our personal banker — everyone has one — for a gym recommendation, her response was: “Why? Gyms are a form of torture.” It seems the only acceptable way to burn calories is to walk.
If Frenchwomen don’t walk enough to stay en forme, there is always a pill, a lotion, a machine or a treatment to do the trick. Pharmacies have counters full of diet and figure-improving remedies. One cream promises “accelerated reduction in the areas resistant to diet” (hips, thighs and buttocks). Capsules assure a flatter stomach in four weeks. A poster recently plastered all over Paris Métro stations advertises a tiny Slendertone “Electronic Muscle Stimulation” belt that claims to provide, in a single session, the equivalent of 120 abdominal crunches. (It’s available in the United States, too.)
Frenchwomen also recommend facials, massages and spa “cures” in their campaign against wrinkles, cellulite and saggy bottoms, bellies and breasts. One spa favorite is thalassotherapy, the seawater-based treatment that originated in France. It involves water jets, seaweed wraps, mud baths and sea-fog inhalation, meant to improve circulation, promote sleep, tone muscles and reduce cellulite.
Some women are resourceful enough — or have legitimate medical reasons, like arthritis — to get doctors’ prescriptions for weeks at their favorite spa. That means government health insurance covers much of the bill.
As for makeup, Frenchwomen of almost every age (except those teenagers) regard less as best. Heavy foundation has a tendency to emphasize wrinkles and pores, and most women avoid it in favor of a bit of blush. Those who do use foundation make sure that it blends with the skin, often by applying it just after moisturizing. The idea is to look as natural as possible: a little color on the eyelids, mascara, maybe a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss.
Of course, it’s easy to look natural if your skin is great. And that may be where the French secrets really are. According to a 2008 Mintel report, Frenchwomen spend about $2.2 billion a year on facial skin care — as much as Spanish, German and British women put together. If you happen to use the bathroom in a French home — something that is not considered polite, by the way — you might see a line of skin care products rivaling a shelf at Duane Reade.
There will be day creams (with sunscreen), night creams (without it), re-pulping creams, serums, moisturizers, cleansers, toners and salves for anything from orange-peel skin to varicose veins. But you might not find much soap. Ms. Caron says she doesn’t use it on her face or her body (except for “certain places”). Madame Figaro magazine recently quoted the French actress and TV presenter Léa Drucker as saying, “The day I stopped using soap, my life changed.” Post-transformation, she uses a hydrating cream.
As in America, some women in France turn to dermatologists for their skin care, and their visits are likely to be covered by health insurance. Even the generous French system does not pay for Botox, collagen or hyaluronan injections, nor for “lifting” and most other cosmetic surgery.
That doesn’t stop Frenchwomen from having “something done.”
The objective of plastic surgery in France, according to Dr. Michel Soussaline, a Paris surgeon with more than 30 years of experience, is “to keep the natural beauty and charm of each individual woman, not to fit some current ideal of beauty.” After all, trends change. In the United States, he says, women who spend a lot of money on face-lifts want to show off their investments. (Maybe that explains the pumped-up lips and smooth cheeks that the American actress Ellen Barkin, 56, recently displayed on the Cannes red carpet.)
By contrast, Frenchwomen prefer results that look as natural as possible. (Cannes photos of Isabelle Huppert, 57, show elegant, un-enhanced aging.) In France, I have only one friend who has confessed to having had surgery, a discreet operation to firm up a sagging chin and flabby neck. She is thrilled with the result: no one notices.
Hair rituals come in two kinds: getting rid of the unwanted stuff on legs and underarms (older women tend to prefer depilatories), and making the most of what’s on top of the head. That means a good cut every three to four weeks, and a reasonably natural color. A plethora of beauty salons (50 of them in my arrondissement) and mostly low prices (as little as 18 euros, or about $22, for a cut, shampoo and blow-dry) make frequent hair maintenance easy.
Frenchwomen use conditioners and other post-shampoo treatments, followed by a cold-water rinse. “It helps the circulation,” said a friend.
Of course, the whole idea that Frenchwomen age better than Americans is debatable. Obesity rates are rising in France, though they are still far lower than in the United States. And not every movie star or politician remains ageless.
The midcentury sex symbol Brigitte Bardot, now 75, is gray, wrinkly and overweight. Martine Aubry, the chubby head of the French Socialist Party and almost 60, is not known for her sense of style. And when I asked Katie Breen, a Frenchwoman who is a former editor at Marie Claire magazine, to name a woman who had aged particularly well, her answer was decidedly un-French: Meryl Streep.
For Frenchwomen, aging seems to be a matter of mind over makeup. If women feel good about themselves, right down to their La Perla 100-euro panties, they look good, too. Françoise Sagan once wrote, “There is a certain age when a woman must be beautiful to be loved, and then there comes a time when she must be loved to be beautiful.” And many Frenchwomen seem to be well loved as they get older — by their tight-knit families, their friends and, perhaps most importantly, themselves. Case in point: my loony neighbor — completely coordinated, perfectly made up, thoroughly French.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/elderrights/world/2010/grace.htm
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Grey Matters! Trivia Launch Success
Grey Matters! Trivia for Mature Adults Launch
June 30th marked the national debut of Grey Matters! Trivia for Mature Adults at St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre’s Canada Day Event. Grey Matters! is an exciting, live-hosted, interactive trivia game for older adults and seniors. The game is divided into 4 quarters: short answer questions, music clips, true or false questions and multiple choice. Trivia exercises the pathways to long-term memory and mental stimulation. Grey Matters! is the perfect way to exercise your brain, have fun and meet new people in a friendly environment.
Grey Matters! Trivia is a collaboration between Braintrust Games and SageHealth Network, an agency offering health promotion and positive aging workshops and services. For more information on Grey Matters!, please visit: www.sagehealthnetwork.com
Saturday, July 17, 2010
STDs in the Viagra Age
MARILYN LINTON
St. Catharines Standard
July 12, 2010
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope," quipped comic George Burns before he, or anyone, had ever heard of Viagra. Today, the little blue pill and other erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs offer a solution to the estimated one in 10 North American men who suffer from ED. But better sex doesn't mean safer sex. Even though sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are more pronounced among younger men, a study by Boston's Dr. Anupam Jena found that men over the age of 40 who used ED drugs were more likely to have STDs than were non-users.
"Anyone who does not practice safer sex, no matter their age, can contract an STD," says Dr. Jena of the Massachusetts General Hospital's Department of Medicine, whose study investigated the associations between STDs and ED use among 1.4 million privately insured U.S. men over the age of 40.
His report echoes the findings of other studies when it comes to the increase in STDs among older adults, including one from the United Kingdom which showed the doubling of STDs among adults aged 45 years or older from 1996 to 2003. An earlier study from Harvard showed that STDs rose by 83% for older, recently bereaved men from 1998 onward.
Safe sex reminders do appear on ED drug company websites (along with warnings of possible four hour erections). But there are many reasons that older men may be ignoring or not processing the safe sex message. One is that many older men are simply unaware of STDs fithink of Austin Powers' quip of "Only sailors wear condoms, baby" after time-travelling from the 1960s to the late 1990s. Others, having come from an age when the language of sex and the courtship dance was different, would rather eat nails than ask someone their sexual history.
Older men are often the ones not using condoms, says Dr. Jena. "The reason is that their awareness of STDs is lower, and, even if they know they exist, they think STDs are not that common." The main reason that young adults use protection is to prevent pregnancy, something that older couples don't usually worry about, he adds. Older people over the age of 50 are also less likely to be tested for HIV infection.
In the study, Dr. Jena and his co-authors discovered that in both the year before and the year after users filled their first ED drug prescription, they had significantly higher rates of STDs than non-users.
"The first implication of that finding is that men who are using ED drugs aren't necessarily men who aren't having any sex at all. That's not the public you see these ads directed to," says Dr. Jena. (Indeed, the medical community has expressed concern that ED drugs have become lifestyle drugs used to enhance sexual pleasure, even in men who have no ED.)
Dr. Jena stresses that the study does not conclude that ED drugs cause STDs but that the men who use them have a higher sexual risk profile (and STD rates two to three times higher) than men who are non-users. These rates include HIV infection.
An editorial in last week's Annals of Internal Medicine, which published the July 6 report, notes that despite the study's limitations, the findings are both "believable and alarming."
This study, writes Dr. Thomas Fekete, "reminds us that STD counseling should not stop at age 40."
And that doctors shouldn't assume that older people don't have sex. Dr. Jena adds that doctors routinely address lifestyle and sexual issues fieverything from tobacco use to safe sex fiin younger patients: "We ask if he or she is monogamous, or if they have multiple partners, are they practicing safe sex. We ask that whole set of questions to men and women who are young, but we haven't been asking them of adults over the age of 40 or 50."
marilyn.linton@sunmedia.ca
Original source: http://stcatharinesstandard.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2664453
St. Catharines Standard
July 12, 2010
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope," quipped comic George Burns before he, or anyone, had ever heard of Viagra. Today, the little blue pill and other erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs offer a solution to the estimated one in 10 North American men who suffer from ED. But better sex doesn't mean safer sex. Even though sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are more pronounced among younger men, a study by Boston's Dr. Anupam Jena found that men over the age of 40 who used ED drugs were more likely to have STDs than were non-users.
"Anyone who does not practice safer sex, no matter their age, can contract an STD," says Dr. Jena of the Massachusetts General Hospital's Department of Medicine, whose study investigated the associations between STDs and ED use among 1.4 million privately insured U.S. men over the age of 40.
His report echoes the findings of other studies when it comes to the increase in STDs among older adults, including one from the United Kingdom which showed the doubling of STDs among adults aged 45 years or older from 1996 to 2003. An earlier study from Harvard showed that STDs rose by 83% for older, recently bereaved men from 1998 onward.
Safe sex reminders do appear on ED drug company websites (along with warnings of possible four hour erections). But there are many reasons that older men may be ignoring or not processing the safe sex message. One is that many older men are simply unaware of STDs fithink of Austin Powers' quip of "Only sailors wear condoms, baby" after time-travelling from the 1960s to the late 1990s. Others, having come from an age when the language of sex and the courtship dance was different, would rather eat nails than ask someone their sexual history.
Older men are often the ones not using condoms, says Dr. Jena. "The reason is that their awareness of STDs is lower, and, even if they know they exist, they think STDs are not that common." The main reason that young adults use protection is to prevent pregnancy, something that older couples don't usually worry about, he adds. Older people over the age of 50 are also less likely to be tested for HIV infection.
In the study, Dr. Jena and his co-authors discovered that in both the year before and the year after users filled their first ED drug prescription, they had significantly higher rates of STDs than non-users.
"The first implication of that finding is that men who are using ED drugs aren't necessarily men who aren't having any sex at all. That's not the public you see these ads directed to," says Dr. Jena. (Indeed, the medical community has expressed concern that ED drugs have become lifestyle drugs used to enhance sexual pleasure, even in men who have no ED.)
Dr. Jena stresses that the study does not conclude that ED drugs cause STDs but that the men who use them have a higher sexual risk profile (and STD rates two to three times higher) than men who are non-users. These rates include HIV infection.
An editorial in last week's Annals of Internal Medicine, which published the July 6 report, notes that despite the study's limitations, the findings are both "believable and alarming."
This study, writes Dr. Thomas Fekete, "reminds us that STD counseling should not stop at age 40."
And that doctors shouldn't assume that older people don't have sex. Dr. Jena adds that doctors routinely address lifestyle and sexual issues fieverything from tobacco use to safe sex fiin younger patients: "We ask if he or she is monogamous, or if they have multiple partners, are they practicing safe sex. We ask that whole set of questions to men and women who are young, but we haven't been asking them of adults over the age of 40 or 50."
marilyn.linton@sunmedia.ca
Original source: http://stcatharinesstandard.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2664453
Friday, July 2, 2010
When it comes to your mind, you need to use it or lose it
Maria Tzavaras
Inside Toronto
June 7, 2010
As we age, it's just as important to keep our minds healthy as it is our bodies.
For seniors, brain fitness is extremely important because once people's mind begin to deteriorate their quality of life can quickly follow.
St. Paul's L'Amoreaux Centre in Scarborough have a variety of programs to keep their seniors' minds healthy, and take a holistic approach to their care, said Roberta Wong, director of client care and community services.
Wong said physical and mental health go hand in hand so staff at St. Paul's try to provide activities to exercise the brain and promote an active lifestyle and healthy nutrition.
"We try to make sure they have enough stimulation to keep their minds active," Wong said, adding brain fitness is important in staving off certain conditions and diseases.
Memory loss is one thing brain fitness helps to fight against.
Wong said people often think memory loss is a given when you age, but that's not entirely true. And while everyone experiences some decline, unless there is a real health reason, sometimes people use age as an excuse for memory loss when it's more often a case of use it or lose it.
"They think 'if I am forgetful that's normal' but it's not always true; it's because they did not keep their minds active," Wong said. "You have to exercise your mind to keep it sharp."
Some of the activities St. Paul's provides includes playing Jeopardy and Brain Beats, a game that uses beats and rhythm of music to help memory to keep the player on his toes.
Seniors also play Wii twice a week. Wong said Wii is popular amongst their seniors, but it's also extremely beneficial because they're using their bodies and their minds to play the game, plus they are being social because they play with a partner.
Wong said companionship and being social is another important component to maintaining a healthy mind.
Seniors are often encouraged to read, do a crossword or sudoku puzzle, and while these things are useful in keeping the brain fit, these are solitary activities and it's important for seniors to socialize.
"They need to develop friendships and be social because depression is one of the No. 1 diagnosis for seniors," she said.
Wong said if seniors, many of whom also have mobility challenges, become isolated and depressed, their mind function can deteriorate and any physical ailments may become pronounced and they begin to slowly fade away.
"People who are depressed and not being looked after, they will most likely die earlier and they will certainly die earlier than others who are not depressed because they don't have interests in their life," Wong said. "Some even go to the extremes and end their life."
Keeping an active lifestyle can also be helpful in staving off some forms of dementia.
Wong said there are different philosophies about dementia with some researchers thinking its inherited while others say there are other factors.
"The air that we breathe, the food that we eat, different things can contribute to dementia," Wong said, adding keeping your mind healthy and active is huge factor in fighting the disease.
Because brain fitness is so important to St. Paul's, they've decided to introduce something new to the senior community, a trivia game called Grey Matters.
SageHealth Network, an agency providing seniors' health promotion, has teamed up St. Paul's with PubStumpers Trivia League, the creators of Grey Matters, to launch this new game geared toward older adults and seniors.
Christopher Wright, president and creator of PubStumpers, said the original PubStumpers trivia is played in bars and other social establishments in a team format for 12-week seasons. A host asks a series of questions using visual and musical clips and multiple choice that covers a range of topics.
"It can be anything. I try to spread it around...there's pop culture, science, geography, history and sports, religion and philosophy, anything you can imagine," he said.
Using the same format, Wright, who writes and researches the questions, has created Grey Matters, tailoring it to seniors by offering trivia they can relate to.
"The question will be relevant to them. Things they may have learned in school or pop culture form the eras in which they grew up," Wright said, adding topics will span from the 1940s to the 1970s.
Seniors will play six rounds with five short answer and multiple choice questions as well as identify music clips. Wright said he not only feels seniors will enjoy playing the game, but it will be beneficial as well.
"What we're trying to do with Grey Matters is to promote the idea that using your brain is a healthy thing to do and helps you to keep mentally acute," Wright said. "It's good to keep the brain active. If you let your brain go stale, you will probably go stale, too," Wright said.
He said PubStumpers also encourages seniors to be social, play as a team and use their minds.
"It gives them something to do and it's beneficial in the long run to maintain their quality of life and stave off the potential senility and the loss of mental faculties that would naturally come with age if you didn't fight it," Wright said.
Wong said St. Paul's is always looking for new ways to bring beneficial activities to its seniors, and this game is a new way to challenge seniors while they have fun.
"If you just ask them questions, people find it dull and they don't want to participate," Wong said. "But if it's in a game format, people find it both challenging and interesting and it encourages them to stay with the game."
Inside Toronto
June 7, 2010
As we age, it's just as important to keep our minds healthy as it is our bodies.
For seniors, brain fitness is extremely important because once people's mind begin to deteriorate their quality of life can quickly follow.
St. Paul's L'Amoreaux Centre in Scarborough have a variety of programs to keep their seniors' minds healthy, and take a holistic approach to their care, said Roberta Wong, director of client care and community services.
Wong said physical and mental health go hand in hand so staff at St. Paul's try to provide activities to exercise the brain and promote an active lifestyle and healthy nutrition.
"We try to make sure they have enough stimulation to keep their minds active," Wong said, adding brain fitness is important in staving off certain conditions and diseases.
Memory loss is one thing brain fitness helps to fight against.
Wong said people often think memory loss is a given when you age, but that's not entirely true. And while everyone experiences some decline, unless there is a real health reason, sometimes people use age as an excuse for memory loss when it's more often a case of use it or lose it.
"They think 'if I am forgetful that's normal' but it's not always true; it's because they did not keep their minds active," Wong said. "You have to exercise your mind to keep it sharp."
Some of the activities St. Paul's provides includes playing Jeopardy and Brain Beats, a game that uses beats and rhythm of music to help memory to keep the player on his toes.
Seniors also play Wii twice a week. Wong said Wii is popular amongst their seniors, but it's also extremely beneficial because they're using their bodies and their minds to play the game, plus they are being social because they play with a partner.
Wong said companionship and being social is another important component to maintaining a healthy mind.
Seniors are often encouraged to read, do a crossword or sudoku puzzle, and while these things are useful in keeping the brain fit, these are solitary activities and it's important for seniors to socialize.
"They need to develop friendships and be social because depression is one of the No. 1 diagnosis for seniors," she said.
Wong said if seniors, many of whom also have mobility challenges, become isolated and depressed, their mind function can deteriorate and any physical ailments may become pronounced and they begin to slowly fade away.
"People who are depressed and not being looked after, they will most likely die earlier and they will certainly die earlier than others who are not depressed because they don't have interests in their life," Wong said. "Some even go to the extremes and end their life."
Keeping an active lifestyle can also be helpful in staving off some forms of dementia.
Wong said there are different philosophies about dementia with some researchers thinking its inherited while others say there are other factors.
"The air that we breathe, the food that we eat, different things can contribute to dementia," Wong said, adding keeping your mind healthy and active is huge factor in fighting the disease.
Because brain fitness is so important to St. Paul's, they've decided to introduce something new to the senior community, a trivia game called Grey Matters.
SageHealth Network, an agency providing seniors' health promotion, has teamed up St. Paul's with PubStumpers Trivia League, the creators of Grey Matters, to launch this new game geared toward older adults and seniors.
Christopher Wright, president and creator of PubStumpers, said the original PubStumpers trivia is played in bars and other social establishments in a team format for 12-week seasons. A host asks a series of questions using visual and musical clips and multiple choice that covers a range of topics.
"It can be anything. I try to spread it around...there's pop culture, science, geography, history and sports, religion and philosophy, anything you can imagine," he said.
Using the same format, Wright, who writes and researches the questions, has created Grey Matters, tailoring it to seniors by offering trivia they can relate to.
"The question will be relevant to them. Things they may have learned in school or pop culture form the eras in which they grew up," Wright said, adding topics will span from the 1940s to the 1970s.
Seniors will play six rounds with five short answer and multiple choice questions as well as identify music clips. Wright said he not only feels seniors will enjoy playing the game, but it will be beneficial as well.
"What we're trying to do with Grey Matters is to promote the idea that using your brain is a healthy thing to do and helps you to keep mentally acute," Wright said. "It's good to keep the brain active. If you let your brain go stale, you will probably go stale, too," Wright said.
He said PubStumpers also encourages seniors to be social, play as a team and use their minds.
"It gives them something to do and it's beneficial in the long run to maintain their quality of life and stave off the potential senility and the loss of mental faculties that would naturally come with age if you didn't fight it," Wright said.
Wong said St. Paul's is always looking for new ways to bring beneficial activities to its seniors, and this game is a new way to challenge seniors while they have fun.
"If you just ask them questions, people find it dull and they don't want to participate," Wong said. "But if it's in a game format, people find it both challenging and interesting and it encourages them to stay with the game."
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Grey Matters! Trivia Keeps Older Adults and Seniors Active and Engaged
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 23, 2010
(Toronto, ON): Question: What is a fun way for older adults and seniors to meet new people, keep their brains active & improve their memory? Answer: Play Grey Matters! Trivia.
SageHealth Network, an agency providing seniors’ health promotion, has teamed up with PubStumpers Trivia League to launch Grey Matters!, an exciting live-hosted trivia game for older adults and seniors.
With 10 years combined experience in senior care and event planning, SageHealth Network and PubStumpers have been providing fun, interactive and stimulating events to approximately 200 establishments including charitable & healthcare organizations, seniors’ centre, legions, pubs & taverns, and country clubs & golf courses.
Trivia exercises the pathways to long-term memory and mental stimulation which keep brains healthy, functioning and active. Questions exercise listening and verbal skills, strengthen mental and cognitive abilities and encourage seniors’ socialization. Overall, more exposure to non-routine activities demanding the brain to process new information can help lower the risk of diseases such as various forms of dementia and Alzheimer’s for seniors.
Sponsored by RBC, Grey Matters! national debut will be at St. Paul’s Canada Day event on Wednesday, June 30th at Bridlewood Mall (2900 Warden Ave @ Finch Ave E. NE entrance near Price Choppers). The game is divided into 4 quarters: short answer questions, music clips, true or false questions and multiple choice. Plenty of prizes will be awarded for individuals or team players. Grey Matters! will begin at 11:00am and participants can play a game every 45 minutes until the last game at 2:00pm.
Come out and test your memory, have fun and meet new people. Brainiacs welcome. For more information, contact Michele Cauch at SageHealth Network at 647-831-6630. For information on SageHealth Network health promotion workshops for older adults and seniors, visit www.sagehealthnetwork.com.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happiness May Come With Age, Study Says
By Nicholas Bakalar, The New York Times
May 31, 2010
It is inevitable. The muscles weaken. Hearing and vision fade. We get wrinkled and stooped. We can’t run, or even walk, as fast as we used to. We have aches and pains in parts of our bodies we never even noticed before. We get old.
It sounds miserable, but apparently it is not. A large Gallup poll has found that by almost any measure, people get happier as they get older, and researchers are not sure why.
“It could be that there are environmental changes,” said Arthur A. Stone, the lead author of a new study based on the survey, “or it could be psychological changes about the way we view the world, or it could even be biological — for example brain chemistry or endocrine changes.”
The telephone survey, carried out in 2008, covered more than 340,000 people nationwide, ages 18 to 85, asking various questions about age and sex, current events, personal finances, health and other matters.
The survey also asked about “global well-being” by having each person rank overall life satisfaction on a 10-point scale, an assessment many people may make from time to time, if not in a strictly formalized way.
Finally, there were six yes-or-no questions: Did you experience the following feelings during a large part of the day yesterday: enjoyment, happiness, stress, worry, anger, sadness.
The answers, the researchers say, reveal “hedonic well-being,” a person’s immediate experience of those psychological states, unencumbered by revised memories or subjective judgments that the query about general life satisfaction might have evoked.
The results, published online May 17 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, were good news for old people, and for those who are getting old. On the global measure, people start out at age 18 feeling pretty good about themselves, and then, apparently, life begins to throw curve balls.
They feel worse and worse until they hit 50. At that point, there is a sharp reversal, and people keep getting happier as they age. By the time they are 85, they are even more satisfied with themselves than they were at 18.
In measuring immediate well-being — yesterday’s emotional state — the researchers found that stress declines from age 22 onward, reaching its lowest point at 85. Worry stays fairly steady until 50, then sharply drops off. Anger decreases steadily from 18 on, and sadness rises to a peak at 50, declines to 73, then rises slightly again to 85. Enjoyment and happiness have similar curves: they both decrease gradually until we hit 50, rise steadily for the next 25 years, and then decline very slightly at the end, but they never again reach the low point of our early 50s.
Other experts were impressed with the work. Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School in England, who has published several studies on human happiness, called the findings important and, in some ways, heartening. “It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” he said. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”
Dr. Stone, who is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, said that the findings raised questions that needed more study. “These results say there are distinctive patterns here,” he said, “and it’s worth some research effort to try to figure out what’s going on.
Why at age 50 does something seem to start to change?” The study was not designed to figure out which factors make people happy, and the poll’s health questions were not specific enough to draw any conclusions about the effect of disease or disability on happiness in old age.
But the researchers did look at four possibilities: the sex of the interviewee, whether the person had a partner, whether there were children at home and employment status. “These are four reasonable candidates,” Dr. Stone said, “but they don’t make much difference.”
For people under 50 who may sometimes feel gloomy, there may be consolation here. The view seems a bit bleak right now, but look at the bright side: you are getting old.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/happiness_maycome.htm
May 31, 2010
It is inevitable. The muscles weaken. Hearing and vision fade. We get wrinkled and stooped. We can’t run, or even walk, as fast as we used to. We have aches and pains in parts of our bodies we never even noticed before. We get old.
It sounds miserable, but apparently it is not. A large Gallup poll has found that by almost any measure, people get happier as they get older, and researchers are not sure why.
“It could be that there are environmental changes,” said Arthur A. Stone, the lead author of a new study based on the survey, “or it could be psychological changes about the way we view the world, or it could even be biological — for example brain chemistry or endocrine changes.”
The telephone survey, carried out in 2008, covered more than 340,000 people nationwide, ages 18 to 85, asking various questions about age and sex, current events, personal finances, health and other matters.
The survey also asked about “global well-being” by having each person rank overall life satisfaction on a 10-point scale, an assessment many people may make from time to time, if not in a strictly formalized way.
Finally, there were six yes-or-no questions: Did you experience the following feelings during a large part of the day yesterday: enjoyment, happiness, stress, worry, anger, sadness.
The answers, the researchers say, reveal “hedonic well-being,” a person’s immediate experience of those psychological states, unencumbered by revised memories or subjective judgments that the query about general life satisfaction might have evoked.
The results, published online May 17 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, were good news for old people, and for those who are getting old. On the global measure, people start out at age 18 feeling pretty good about themselves, and then, apparently, life begins to throw curve balls.
They feel worse and worse until they hit 50. At that point, there is a sharp reversal, and people keep getting happier as they age. By the time they are 85, they are even more satisfied with themselves than they were at 18.
In measuring immediate well-being — yesterday’s emotional state — the researchers found that stress declines from age 22 onward, reaching its lowest point at 85. Worry stays fairly steady until 50, then sharply drops off. Anger decreases steadily from 18 on, and sadness rises to a peak at 50, declines to 73, then rises slightly again to 85. Enjoyment and happiness have similar curves: they both decrease gradually until we hit 50, rise steadily for the next 25 years, and then decline very slightly at the end, but they never again reach the low point of our early 50s.
Other experts were impressed with the work. Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School in England, who has published several studies on human happiness, called the findings important and, in some ways, heartening. “It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” he said. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”
Dr. Stone, who is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, said that the findings raised questions that needed more study. “These results say there are distinctive patterns here,” he said, “and it’s worth some research effort to try to figure out what’s going on.
Why at age 50 does something seem to start to change?” The study was not designed to figure out which factors make people happy, and the poll’s health questions were not specific enough to draw any conclusions about the effect of disease or disability on happiness in old age.
But the researchers did look at four possibilities: the sex of the interviewee, whether the person had a partner, whether there were children at home and employment status. “These are four reasonable candidates,” Dr. Stone said, “but they don’t make much difference.”
For people under 50 who may sometimes feel gloomy, there may be consolation here. The view seems a bit bleak right now, but look at the bright side: you are getting old.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/happiness_maycome.htm
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tips for Talking about STDs
by Gloria G. Brame
03/31/2009
One of the most difficult conversations for new lovers concerns the sticky issue of sexual health. At the same time, finding out your partner's STD status it is the single most important sexual conversation you may ever have. So here are tips on getting the info you need to make that critical talk go smoothly, and ensure that you are left with a happy memory and not an unhappy disease.
Why You Gotta
No one WANTS to have this conversation. It's clinical and embarrassing and thwarts spontaneity. Unfortunately, you gotta. STDs are at an all-time high in all age groups (particularly college-age kids and the elderly), and some of them (HPV, herpes and HIV) are incurable. If you get one of those diseases, your life will change for the worse. Sterility, pain, cancer, and even death are the price Americans are paying for their inability to talk about STDs. So learn to make the STD conversation a healthy priority in your sex life. The benefits of staying healthy far outweigh any temporary awkwardness.
Time It Right
Talk to your partner about STDs before the sex-play begins. Don't wait until your clothes are off and your desire is boiling. Arousal and nudity have a funny effect on people: it makes them fib, fudge, and get fuzzy about specifics. It also makes them willing to take crazy risks. Talk about it on the drive home; discuss it by phone. Just don't wait until your brain is clouded by lust. Also important: It may be fun to have sex when you're tipsy or high, but this conversation should only take place when you and your partner are stone cold sober.
Take the First Step
A diplomatic approach is to start the conversation by telling your partner about your own status. Remember that if you want honesty, you must give honesty: if you have any concerns about former lovers or if you haven't been tested for something you think you could have picked up, it is your moral obligation to inform a potential partner of the risk. So set the example: give your partner a clear picture of your sexual health. Most people will volunteer the same information in response. If your lover refuses to have this conversation, walk away. In my clinical experience, people who conceal their STD status have something (big) to hide.
Deal With It
It's human nature to want something so much that we overlook red flags. This is especially true when we're dying to sleep with someone. But be prepared to deal with reality if you don't get the answers you were hoping for. Ask how many partners they've had; ask if they regularly use condoms or others types of STD protection; ask if they've been screened for STDs. If your partner is vague or treats the subject as if it isn't important, don't brush it off. If they can't discuss the subject openly with you they probably didn't discuss it with their former partners and that is very bad news for you. Sexually active adults who don't make an effort to prevent STDs usually end up getting them and infecting their partners.
Don't Over-React To It
So your hot and sexy partner just revealed that he or she has an STD. Don't freak out: it doesn't mean you can't have great sex. It just means you have to have safe sex. There are many happy, long-term couples out there where one partner is infected and the other never catches it. Virtually every known STD can be prevented so don't think someone's STD means the end of your sex life together. Educate yourself on the particular STD, and follow the CDC's guidelines on prevention. Meanwhile, don't hesitate to explore safe-sex options, such as mutual masturbation, using adult toys, and role-play.
Source:www.loveandhealth.info
03/31/2009
One of the most difficult conversations for new lovers concerns the sticky issue of sexual health. At the same time, finding out your partner's STD status it is the single most important sexual conversation you may ever have. So here are tips on getting the info you need to make that critical talk go smoothly, and ensure that you are left with a happy memory and not an unhappy disease.
Why You Gotta
No one WANTS to have this conversation. It's clinical and embarrassing and thwarts spontaneity. Unfortunately, you gotta. STDs are at an all-time high in all age groups (particularly college-age kids and the elderly), and some of them (HPV, herpes and HIV) are incurable. If you get one of those diseases, your life will change for the worse. Sterility, pain, cancer, and even death are the price Americans are paying for their inability to talk about STDs. So learn to make the STD conversation a healthy priority in your sex life. The benefits of staying healthy far outweigh any temporary awkwardness.
Time It Right
Talk to your partner about STDs before the sex-play begins. Don't wait until your clothes are off and your desire is boiling. Arousal and nudity have a funny effect on people: it makes them fib, fudge, and get fuzzy about specifics. It also makes them willing to take crazy risks. Talk about it on the drive home; discuss it by phone. Just don't wait until your brain is clouded by lust. Also important: It may be fun to have sex when you're tipsy or high, but this conversation should only take place when you and your partner are stone cold sober.
Take the First Step
A diplomatic approach is to start the conversation by telling your partner about your own status. Remember that if you want honesty, you must give honesty: if you have any concerns about former lovers or if you haven't been tested for something you think you could have picked up, it is your moral obligation to inform a potential partner of the risk. So set the example: give your partner a clear picture of your sexual health. Most people will volunteer the same information in response. If your lover refuses to have this conversation, walk away. In my clinical experience, people who conceal their STD status have something (big) to hide.
Deal With It
It's human nature to want something so much that we overlook red flags. This is especially true when we're dying to sleep with someone. But be prepared to deal with reality if you don't get the answers you were hoping for. Ask how many partners they've had; ask if they regularly use condoms or others types of STD protection; ask if they've been screened for STDs. If your partner is vague or treats the subject as if it isn't important, don't brush it off. If they can't discuss the subject openly with you they probably didn't discuss it with their former partners and that is very bad news for you. Sexually active adults who don't make an effort to prevent STDs usually end up getting them and infecting their partners.
Don't Over-React To It
So your hot and sexy partner just revealed that he or she has an STD. Don't freak out: it doesn't mean you can't have great sex. It just means you have to have safe sex. There are many happy, long-term couples out there where one partner is infected and the other never catches it. Virtually every known STD can be prevented so don't think someone's STD means the end of your sex life together. Educate yourself on the particular STD, and follow the CDC's guidelines on prevention. Meanwhile, don't hesitate to explore safe-sex options, such as mutual masturbation, using adult toys, and role-play.
Source:www.loveandhealth.info
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sex in nursing homes
This is an interesting story about a pair of residents in a long term care facility. Both have Alzheimers disease. It is sad and emotional but it illustrates the plight of individuals in long term and how ignorance and and ageist attitudes can infringe on the rights and freedoms of seniors in long term care. Narrow minded and incorrect beliefs about aging, sexuality and morality not only infringe on human rights but also prevent individuals from attaining moments of happiness and contentment.
Long term care staff and families of residents need more education about Alzheimers and related dementias and how these illnesses can affect the sexuality of seniors. Families in particular need to understand how to handle their emotions when a parent or grandparent or even spouse develops desires and intimacy needs for another resident---one who is not mom or dad. Families need to understand the reality in which their loved one is now living. It's an excruciating process for families to disassociate the loved one they knew, from the loved one who doesn't recognize them anymore. Allowances have to be made to accomodate and acknowledge the sexual and intimacy needs of residents, allowing them freedom of expression all the while trying to find an ethical balance that works for the family. It's a very difficult and tenuous peace and much more work needs to be done in the area of freedom of sexual expression and intimacy of seniors in nursing homes.
My thanks to Kathy McDonald at HEARTH for sending me this article from Slate.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
---------------------------
An Affair To Remember
She was 82. He was 95. They had dementia. They fell in love. And then they started having sex.
By Melinda Henneberger, Slate
Posted Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bob's family was horrified at the idea that his relationship with Dorothy might have become sexual. At his age, they wouldn't have thought it possible. But when Bob's son walked in and saw his 95-year-old father in bed with his 82-year-old girlfriend last December, incredulity turned into full-blown panic. "I didn't know where this was going to end," said the manager of the assisted-living facility where Bob and Dorothy lived. "It was pretty volatile."
Because both Bob and Dorothy suffer from dementia, the son assumed that his father didn't fully understand what was going on. And his sputtering cell phone call reporting the scene he'd happened upon would have been funny, the manager said, if the consequences hadn't been so serious. "He was going, 'She had her mouth on my dad's penis! And it's not even clean!' " Bob's son became determined to keep the two apart and asked the facility's staff to ensure that they were never left alone together.
After that, Dorothy stopped eating. She lost 21 pounds, was treated for depression, and was hospitalized for dehydration. When Bob was finally moved out of the facility in January, she sat in the window for weeks waiting for him. She doesn't do that anymore, though: "Her Alzheimer's is protecting her at this point," says her doctor, who thinks the loss might have killed her if its memory hadn't faded so mercifully fast.
But should someone have protected the couple's right to privacy—their right to have a sex life?
"We were in uncharted territory," the facility manager said—and there's a reason for that. Even the More magazine-reading demographic that thinks midlife is forever (and is deeply sorry to see James Naughton doing Cialis ads) seems to believe that while sex isn't only for the young, exceptions are only for the exfoliated. We're squeamish about the sex lives of the elderly—and even more so when those elderly are senile and are our parents. But as the baby boom generation ages, there are going to be many more Dorothys and Bobs—who may no longer quite recall the Summer of Love but are unlikely to accept parietal rules in the nursing home. Gerontologists highly recommend sex for the elderly because it improves mood and even overall physical function, but the legal issues are enormously complicated, as Daniel Engber explored in his 2007 article "Naughty Nursing Homes": Can someone with dementia give informed consent? How do caregivers balance safety and privacy concerns? When families object to a demented person being sexually active, are nursing homes responsible for chaperoning? This one botched love affair shows the incredible intensity and human cost of an issue that, as Dorothy's doctor says, we can't afford to go on ignoring.
Dorothy's daughter, who contacted me, said that, in a lucid moment, her mother asked her to publicize her predicament. "We're all going to get old, if we're lucky," said the daughter, who is a lawyer. And if we get lucky when we're old, then we need to have drawn up a sexual power of attorney before it's too late. Who controls the intimate lives of people with dementia? Unless specific provision has been made, their families do. And for Dorothy, which is her middle name, and Bob, which isn't his real name at all, that quickly became a problem.
"Who do you love?" Dorothy asked me, right after her daughter introduced us. She'd married her first—and only other—sweetheart, a grade-school classmate she'd grown up with in Boston and waited for while he flew daylight bombing raids over Germany during World War II. Together they had four children, built a business, and traveled all over the world, right up until she lost him to a heart attack 16 years ago. But she never mentions him now and doesn't like it when anyone else does, either, because how could she not remember her own husband? Her daughter visits every evening, and because Dorothy loves kids, her daughter pays the housekeeper to bring hers over every afternoon, "and she thinks they're her grandchildren, and it makes her happy."
But even showing me around her well-appointed, little apartment in the nice-smelling assisted-living facility was an exercise in frustration for Dorothy: She joked and covered, but she might as well have been guiding me through Isabella Stewart Gardner's house, because all around were tokens from her past that have lost their meaning for her. There were tiny busts of Bach and Brahms, a collection of miniature porcelain pianos, Japanese woodcuts, and some Thomas Hart Benton lithographs she picked up for a few dollars in the '40s. "These are all my favorites," she said, pointing to shelves of novels by the Brontes and books about Leonardo da Vinci and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. But her expression said that she couldn't recall why she liked these volumes best, and what I think she wanted me to know is that she once was a person who could have told me. When her daughter mentioned Bob's name—Bob, who was led away in January, shouting, "What's going on? Where are you taking me?" right in front of her—it wasn't clear how much she remembered: "He came and he went, and there's nothing more to say."
So it was left to her daughter, her doctor, and the woman who runs the assisted-living facility to explain how this grown woman, who lived through the Depression and survived breast cancer, managed a home and mourned a mate, wound up being treated like a child. "Come back anytime," Dorothy told me sweetly.
Downstairs, in her bright, tidy office, I met the woman who runs the facility—one of the nicest I've seen, with tea service in the lobby and white tablecloths in a dining room that's dressed up like a restaurant. In 30 years of taking care of the elderly, she's seen plenty of couples, but none as "inspiring" or heartbreaking as Dorothy and Bob. Which is why she keeps a photo of the two of them on her desk. In the picture, Dorothy is sitting at the piano in the lobby, where she used to play and he used to sing along—with gusto, usually warbling, "I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair," no matter what tune she was playing. She is all dolled up, wearing a jangly red bracelet and gold lamé shoes, and they are holding hands and beaming in a way that makes it impossible not to see the 18-year-olds inside them.
Before Dorothy came along, the manager said, Bob was really kind of a player and had all the women vying to sit with him on the porch. But with Dorothy, she said, "it was love." One day, the staff noticed that they were sitting together, then before long they were taking all their meals together, and over a matter of weeks, it became constant. Whenever Bob caught sight of Dorothy, he lit up "like a young stud seeing his lady for the first time." Even at 95, he'd pop out of his chair and straighten his clothes when she walked into the room. She would sit, and then he would sit. And both of them began taking far greater pride in their appearance; Dorothy went from wearing the same ratty yellow dress all the time to appearing for breakfast every morning in a different outfit, accessorized with pearls and hair combs.
Soon the relationship became sexual. At first, Dorothy's daughter and the facility manager doubted Dorothy's vivid accounts of having intercourse with Bob. But aides noticed that Bob became visibly aroused when he kissed Dorothy good night—and saw that he didn't want to leave her at her door anymore, either. (Note to James Naughton: Bob did not need what you are selling.) His overnight nurse was an obstacle to sleepovers, but the couple started spending time alone in their apartments during the day. When Bob's son became aware of these trysts, he tried to put a stop to them—in the manager's view because the son felt that old people "should be old and rock in the chair." When I called Bob's son and told him I was writing about the situation without using any names, he passed on the opportunity to explain his perspective. "I don't choose to discuss anything that involves my father," he said, and he put the phone down.
But according to the facility manager, the son was convinced that Dorothy was the aggressor in the relationship, and he worried that her advances might be hard on his father's weak heart. He wasn't the only one troubled by the physical relationship. The private-duty nurse who had been tending Bob also had strong feelings about the matter, said the manager: "At first, she thought it was cute they were together, but when it became sexual, she lost her senses" for religious reasons and asked staff members to help keep the two of them apart.
Employees wound up choosing sides—as did other residents, including some women who were apparently jealous of Dorothy's romance. And because the couple now had to sneak around to be together—for instance, cutting out when they were supposed to be in church—their intimacy became more and more open and problematic. At one point, the manager had to make Bob stop "pleasuring her" right in the lobby, where Dorothy sat with a pillow placed strategically over her lap. In all of her years of working with elderly people, the manager said, this was not only her worst professional experience but was the only one that left her feeling she had failed her patients. She had a particularly hard time staying neutral and detached, she said, because she kept thinking that "if that was my mom or dad, I'd be grateful they'd found somebody to spend the rest of their lives with."
One day when Dorothy's daughter arrived to visit, she found Bob sitting in the lobby, surrounded by a wheelchair brigade of dozing people who had been posted around him by the private-duty nurse to block Dorothy from approaching him. That's when Dorothy's daughter got the state involved and started throwing around the word lawsuit, which only made things worse, the manager said. "Once she started talking legal, that pushed things over the edge." The state did send someone in to try to mediate the situation—but then the mediator was diagnosed with cancer and died just five weeks later. Though the mediator's replacement tried to pick up where he had left off, she was never able to establish a rapport with Bob's son.
Finally, Bob's family decided to move him and insisted that neither he nor Dorothy be told in advance. No one in either family was there the morning Bob's nurse hustled him out the door. Later, the manager called his son and asked if there was any way Dorothy might come and visit just briefly, to say goodbye. The son thought about it for a few days and then said no, his father was already settled into his new home and was not thinking about her at all anymore. The lawyers told Dorothy's family that there was no way they could make the legal case that Bob's rights were being violated by his family, because you couldn't put people with dementia on the witness stand.
Dorothy's son-in-law, who is a doctor, suspects Bob's son of fearing for his inheritance. Bob had repeatedly proposed for all to hear and called Dorothy his wife, but his son called her something else—a "gold digger"—and refused to even discuss her family's offer to sign a prenup. According to Dorothy's daughter, Bob's son told her, "My father has outlived three wives, including the one he married in his 80s, and your mother is just one of many." But surely Bob's safety was a true concern, too, and maybe his son had religious or moral qualms? "I don't think so," the manager said. "I don't think he meant his dad any harm, but he couldn't see what his dad needed. … He wanted his dad to have a relationship but on his terms: You can sit together at meals, but you can't have what really makes a relationship, and be careful how much you kiss and don't retire to a private place to do what all of us do."
Though Dorothy might or might not remember what happened, "there's a sadness in her" that wasn't there before, the manager said. Bob "gave her back something she had long lost—to think she's pretty, to care about her step and her stride." She eats in her room now rather than in the dining room where she shared meals with Bob. And she no longer plays the piano. A new couple in the facility has gotten together in the last few weeks. The manager called their families in right away and was relieved to see that they were happy for their parents, and the families have been taking them on outings together. As a result of the whole experience, the manager, who is 50, recently had a different version of "the talk" with her 25-year-old daughter, instructing her never, ever to let such a thing happen to her or her husband: "I hope I get another shot at it when I'm 90 years old."
Dorothy's doctor also took their experience personally. "Can you imagine as a clinician, treating a woman who's finally found happiness and then suddenly she's not eating because she couldn't see her loved one? This was a 21st-century Romeo and Juliet. And let's be honest, because this man was very elderly, I got intrigued; my respects to the gentleman." His patient was happier than he could ever remember; she was playing the piano again, and even her memory had improved.
And though the doctor never laid eyes on Bob, in general, he said, the fear of sex causing heart attacks is wildly overblown: "If you've made it to age 95, I'm sorry, but having sex is not going to kill you—it's going to prolong your life. It was as if someone had removed the sheath that was covering [Dorothy], and she got to live for a while." But after the trauma of losing Bob, Dorothy's doctor came close to losing his patient, he said, adding that most people her age would not have survived the simultaneous resulting insults of depression, malnutrition, and dehydration. "We can't afford the luxury of treating people like this. … But we don't want to know what our parents do in bed."
Then the daughter interjected that Bob's son certainly didn't want to see them having oral sex, and the doctor proved his own point. Holding a hand up to stop her from saying any more, he told her, "I didn't need to know that." But maybe the rest of us do.
Melinda Henneberger is a Slate contributor and the author of If They Only Listened to Us: What Women Voters Want Politicians To Hear.
Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2192178/
Long term care staff and families of residents need more education about Alzheimers and related dementias and how these illnesses can affect the sexuality of seniors. Families in particular need to understand how to handle their emotions when a parent or grandparent or even spouse develops desires and intimacy needs for another resident---one who is not mom or dad. Families need to understand the reality in which their loved one is now living. It's an excruciating process for families to disassociate the loved one they knew, from the loved one who doesn't recognize them anymore. Allowances have to be made to accomodate and acknowledge the sexual and intimacy needs of residents, allowing them freedom of expression all the while trying to find an ethical balance that works for the family. It's a very difficult and tenuous peace and much more work needs to be done in the area of freedom of sexual expression and intimacy of seniors in nursing homes.
My thanks to Kathy McDonald at HEARTH for sending me this article from Slate.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
---------------------------
An Affair To Remember
She was 82. He was 95. They had dementia. They fell in love. And then they started having sex.
By Melinda Henneberger, Slate
Posted Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bob's family was horrified at the idea that his relationship with Dorothy might have become sexual. At his age, they wouldn't have thought it possible. But when Bob's son walked in and saw his 95-year-old father in bed with his 82-year-old girlfriend last December, incredulity turned into full-blown panic. "I didn't know where this was going to end," said the manager of the assisted-living facility where Bob and Dorothy lived. "It was pretty volatile."
Because both Bob and Dorothy suffer from dementia, the son assumed that his father didn't fully understand what was going on. And his sputtering cell phone call reporting the scene he'd happened upon would have been funny, the manager said, if the consequences hadn't been so serious. "He was going, 'She had her mouth on my dad's penis! And it's not even clean!' " Bob's son became determined to keep the two apart and asked the facility's staff to ensure that they were never left alone together.
After that, Dorothy stopped eating. She lost 21 pounds, was treated for depression, and was hospitalized for dehydration. When Bob was finally moved out of the facility in January, she sat in the window for weeks waiting for him. She doesn't do that anymore, though: "Her Alzheimer's is protecting her at this point," says her doctor, who thinks the loss might have killed her if its memory hadn't faded so mercifully fast.
But should someone have protected the couple's right to privacy—their right to have a sex life?
"We were in uncharted territory," the facility manager said—and there's a reason for that. Even the More magazine-reading demographic that thinks midlife is forever (and is deeply sorry to see James Naughton doing Cialis ads) seems to believe that while sex isn't only for the young, exceptions are only for the exfoliated. We're squeamish about the sex lives of the elderly—and even more so when those elderly are senile and are our parents. But as the baby boom generation ages, there are going to be many more Dorothys and Bobs—who may no longer quite recall the Summer of Love but are unlikely to accept parietal rules in the nursing home. Gerontologists highly recommend sex for the elderly because it improves mood and even overall physical function, but the legal issues are enormously complicated, as Daniel Engber explored in his 2007 article "Naughty Nursing Homes": Can someone with dementia give informed consent? How do caregivers balance safety and privacy concerns? When families object to a demented person being sexually active, are nursing homes responsible for chaperoning? This one botched love affair shows the incredible intensity and human cost of an issue that, as Dorothy's doctor says, we can't afford to go on ignoring.
Dorothy's daughter, who contacted me, said that, in a lucid moment, her mother asked her to publicize her predicament. "We're all going to get old, if we're lucky," said the daughter, who is a lawyer. And if we get lucky when we're old, then we need to have drawn up a sexual power of attorney before it's too late. Who controls the intimate lives of people with dementia? Unless specific provision has been made, their families do. And for Dorothy, which is her middle name, and Bob, which isn't his real name at all, that quickly became a problem.
"Who do you love?" Dorothy asked me, right after her daughter introduced us. She'd married her first—and only other—sweetheart, a grade-school classmate she'd grown up with in Boston and waited for while he flew daylight bombing raids over Germany during World War II. Together they had four children, built a business, and traveled all over the world, right up until she lost him to a heart attack 16 years ago. But she never mentions him now and doesn't like it when anyone else does, either, because how could she not remember her own husband? Her daughter visits every evening, and because Dorothy loves kids, her daughter pays the housekeeper to bring hers over every afternoon, "and she thinks they're her grandchildren, and it makes her happy."
But even showing me around her well-appointed, little apartment in the nice-smelling assisted-living facility was an exercise in frustration for Dorothy: She joked and covered, but she might as well have been guiding me through Isabella Stewart Gardner's house, because all around were tokens from her past that have lost their meaning for her. There were tiny busts of Bach and Brahms, a collection of miniature porcelain pianos, Japanese woodcuts, and some Thomas Hart Benton lithographs she picked up for a few dollars in the '40s. "These are all my favorites," she said, pointing to shelves of novels by the Brontes and books about Leonardo da Vinci and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. But her expression said that she couldn't recall why she liked these volumes best, and what I think she wanted me to know is that she once was a person who could have told me. When her daughter mentioned Bob's name—Bob, who was led away in January, shouting, "What's going on? Where are you taking me?" right in front of her—it wasn't clear how much she remembered: "He came and he went, and there's nothing more to say."
So it was left to her daughter, her doctor, and the woman who runs the assisted-living facility to explain how this grown woman, who lived through the Depression and survived breast cancer, managed a home and mourned a mate, wound up being treated like a child. "Come back anytime," Dorothy told me sweetly.
Downstairs, in her bright, tidy office, I met the woman who runs the facility—one of the nicest I've seen, with tea service in the lobby and white tablecloths in a dining room that's dressed up like a restaurant. In 30 years of taking care of the elderly, she's seen plenty of couples, but none as "inspiring" or heartbreaking as Dorothy and Bob. Which is why she keeps a photo of the two of them on her desk. In the picture, Dorothy is sitting at the piano in the lobby, where she used to play and he used to sing along—with gusto, usually warbling, "I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair," no matter what tune she was playing. She is all dolled up, wearing a jangly red bracelet and gold lamé shoes, and they are holding hands and beaming in a way that makes it impossible not to see the 18-year-olds inside them.
Before Dorothy came along, the manager said, Bob was really kind of a player and had all the women vying to sit with him on the porch. But with Dorothy, she said, "it was love." One day, the staff noticed that they were sitting together, then before long they were taking all their meals together, and over a matter of weeks, it became constant. Whenever Bob caught sight of Dorothy, he lit up "like a young stud seeing his lady for the first time." Even at 95, he'd pop out of his chair and straighten his clothes when she walked into the room. She would sit, and then he would sit. And both of them began taking far greater pride in their appearance; Dorothy went from wearing the same ratty yellow dress all the time to appearing for breakfast every morning in a different outfit, accessorized with pearls and hair combs.
Soon the relationship became sexual. At first, Dorothy's daughter and the facility manager doubted Dorothy's vivid accounts of having intercourse with Bob. But aides noticed that Bob became visibly aroused when he kissed Dorothy good night—and saw that he didn't want to leave her at her door anymore, either. (Note to James Naughton: Bob did not need what you are selling.) His overnight nurse was an obstacle to sleepovers, but the couple started spending time alone in their apartments during the day. When Bob's son became aware of these trysts, he tried to put a stop to them—in the manager's view because the son felt that old people "should be old and rock in the chair." When I called Bob's son and told him I was writing about the situation without using any names, he passed on the opportunity to explain his perspective. "I don't choose to discuss anything that involves my father," he said, and he put the phone down.
But according to the facility manager, the son was convinced that Dorothy was the aggressor in the relationship, and he worried that her advances might be hard on his father's weak heart. He wasn't the only one troubled by the physical relationship. The private-duty nurse who had been tending Bob also had strong feelings about the matter, said the manager: "At first, she thought it was cute they were together, but when it became sexual, she lost her senses" for religious reasons and asked staff members to help keep the two of them apart.
Employees wound up choosing sides—as did other residents, including some women who were apparently jealous of Dorothy's romance. And because the couple now had to sneak around to be together—for instance, cutting out when they were supposed to be in church—their intimacy became more and more open and problematic. At one point, the manager had to make Bob stop "pleasuring her" right in the lobby, where Dorothy sat with a pillow placed strategically over her lap. In all of her years of working with elderly people, the manager said, this was not only her worst professional experience but was the only one that left her feeling she had failed her patients. She had a particularly hard time staying neutral and detached, she said, because she kept thinking that "if that was my mom or dad, I'd be grateful they'd found somebody to spend the rest of their lives with."
One day when Dorothy's daughter arrived to visit, she found Bob sitting in the lobby, surrounded by a wheelchair brigade of dozing people who had been posted around him by the private-duty nurse to block Dorothy from approaching him. That's when Dorothy's daughter got the state involved and started throwing around the word lawsuit, which only made things worse, the manager said. "Once she started talking legal, that pushed things over the edge." The state did send someone in to try to mediate the situation—but then the mediator was diagnosed with cancer and died just five weeks later. Though the mediator's replacement tried to pick up where he had left off, she was never able to establish a rapport with Bob's son.
Finally, Bob's family decided to move him and insisted that neither he nor Dorothy be told in advance. No one in either family was there the morning Bob's nurse hustled him out the door. Later, the manager called his son and asked if there was any way Dorothy might come and visit just briefly, to say goodbye. The son thought about it for a few days and then said no, his father was already settled into his new home and was not thinking about her at all anymore. The lawyers told Dorothy's family that there was no way they could make the legal case that Bob's rights were being violated by his family, because you couldn't put people with dementia on the witness stand.
Dorothy's son-in-law, who is a doctor, suspects Bob's son of fearing for his inheritance. Bob had repeatedly proposed for all to hear and called Dorothy his wife, but his son called her something else—a "gold digger"—and refused to even discuss her family's offer to sign a prenup. According to Dorothy's daughter, Bob's son told her, "My father has outlived three wives, including the one he married in his 80s, and your mother is just one of many." But surely Bob's safety was a true concern, too, and maybe his son had religious or moral qualms? "I don't think so," the manager said. "I don't think he meant his dad any harm, but he couldn't see what his dad needed. … He wanted his dad to have a relationship but on his terms: You can sit together at meals, but you can't have what really makes a relationship, and be careful how much you kiss and don't retire to a private place to do what all of us do."
Though Dorothy might or might not remember what happened, "there's a sadness in her" that wasn't there before, the manager said. Bob "gave her back something she had long lost—to think she's pretty, to care about her step and her stride." She eats in her room now rather than in the dining room where she shared meals with Bob. And she no longer plays the piano. A new couple in the facility has gotten together in the last few weeks. The manager called their families in right away and was relieved to see that they were happy for their parents, and the families have been taking them on outings together. As a result of the whole experience, the manager, who is 50, recently had a different version of "the talk" with her 25-year-old daughter, instructing her never, ever to let such a thing happen to her or her husband: "I hope I get another shot at it when I'm 90 years old."
Dorothy's doctor also took their experience personally. "Can you imagine as a clinician, treating a woman who's finally found happiness and then suddenly she's not eating because she couldn't see her loved one? This was a 21st-century Romeo and Juliet. And let's be honest, because this man was very elderly, I got intrigued; my respects to the gentleman." His patient was happier than he could ever remember; she was playing the piano again, and even her memory had improved.
And though the doctor never laid eyes on Bob, in general, he said, the fear of sex causing heart attacks is wildly overblown: "If you've made it to age 95, I'm sorry, but having sex is not going to kill you—it's going to prolong your life. It was as if someone had removed the sheath that was covering [Dorothy], and she got to live for a while." But after the trauma of losing Bob, Dorothy's doctor came close to losing his patient, he said, adding that most people her age would not have survived the simultaneous resulting insults of depression, malnutrition, and dehydration. "We can't afford the luxury of treating people like this. … But we don't want to know what our parents do in bed."
Then the daughter interjected that Bob's son certainly didn't want to see them having oral sex, and the doctor proved his own point. Holding a hand up to stop her from saying any more, he told her, "I didn't need to know that." But maybe the rest of us do.
Melinda Henneberger is a Slate contributor and the author of If They Only Listened to Us: What Women Voters Want Politicians To Hear.
Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2192178/
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Launching Grey Matters ~ Seniors Trivia
Q: What is a fun way for older adults and seniors to meet new people, keep their brains healthy and active and improve their memory?
A: Play Grey Matters Trivia
SageHealth Network has teamed up with PubStumpers Trivia League to launch Grey Matters Seniors Trivia Games. Grey Matters offers recreational trivia events for mature adults. It is a fun and exciting way to boost your memory power and engage all your mental faculties while making new friends.
With 10 years combined experience in senior care and event planning, SageHealth Network and PubStumpers have been providing fun, interactive and stimulating events to approximately 200 establishments including charitable & healthcare organizations, seniors’ centre, legions, pubs & taverns, and country clubs & golf courses.
Like to see how it's played? Come out on Wednesday, June 30th to St. Paul's Canada Day Event at Bridlewood Mall (2900 Warden Ave NW corner of Finch and Warden). Grey Matters will be played from 11:00am until 1:30pm.
You can also ask us about a promotional game to your residents and clients. Call us at 647-831-6630 or email: info@sagehealthnetwork.com for more details.
A: Play Grey Matters Trivia
SageHealth Network has teamed up with PubStumpers Trivia League to launch Grey Matters Seniors Trivia Games. Grey Matters offers recreational trivia events for mature adults. It is a fun and exciting way to boost your memory power and engage all your mental faculties while making new friends.
With 10 years combined experience in senior care and event planning, SageHealth Network and PubStumpers have been providing fun, interactive and stimulating events to approximately 200 establishments including charitable & healthcare organizations, seniors’ centre, legions, pubs & taverns, and country clubs & golf courses.
Like to see how it's played? Come out on Wednesday, June 30th to St. Paul's Canada Day Event at Bridlewood Mall (2900 Warden Ave NW corner of Finch and Warden). Grey Matters will be played from 11:00am until 1:30pm.
You can also ask us about a promotional game to your residents and clients. Call us at 647-831-6630 or email: info@sagehealthnetwork.com for more details.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Scott Thomas blasts 'ageist' filmmakers
May 29, 2010
By WENN.com
(WENN.com)
Kristin Scott Thomas prefers making films in France because she's convinced movie bosses in her native Britain are too "terrified" to cast older women in leading roles.
The English Patient star was born in Cornwall, England but has gained French nationality since moving to the country when she was a teenager.
And the 50 year old admits she has become disillusioned with the British film industry, where mature actresses are snubbed in favour of younger stars.
Scott Thomas tells Easy Living magazine, "I think it's because England tends to follow America so strongly or they're making films for children - and when I say children I mean anyone under 25. I'm really getting evil in my old age!
"French cinema is not afraid of women of my age. I think it's less terrified of disobeying the rules of what is beautiful and what is acceptable to look at...
"In fact, strangely, I feel much more confident about my appearance now, even with wrinkles on my face, than I did when I was 25. Which is bizarre, isn't it? If one could preserve oneself at 45 then I think that would probably be ideal - but you can't. Unfortunately lots of women try to do just that and that's where they come a cropper (fail) because it doesn't really work, does it?" (PAW/WNTEX/LR)
Original link: http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2010/05/29/pf-14183586.html
By WENN.com
(WENN.com)
Kristin Scott Thomas prefers making films in France because she's convinced movie bosses in her native Britain are too "terrified" to cast older women in leading roles.
The English Patient star was born in Cornwall, England but has gained French nationality since moving to the country when she was a teenager.
And the 50 year old admits she has become disillusioned with the British film industry, where mature actresses are snubbed in favour of younger stars.
Scott Thomas tells Easy Living magazine, "I think it's because England tends to follow America so strongly or they're making films for children - and when I say children I mean anyone under 25. I'm really getting evil in my old age!
"French cinema is not afraid of women of my age. I think it's less terrified of disobeying the rules of what is beautiful and what is acceptable to look at...
"In fact, strangely, I feel much more confident about my appearance now, even with wrinkles on my face, than I did when I was 25. Which is bizarre, isn't it? If one could preserve oneself at 45 then I think that would probably be ideal - but you can't. Unfortunately lots of women try to do just that and that's where they come a cropper (fail) because it doesn't really work, does it?" (PAW/WNTEX/LR)
Original link: http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2010/05/29/pf-14183586.html
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Naked at Our Age
Thanks to Joan Price for inviting me to submit a piece on safer sex for older adults and seniors for her new book, Naked at Our Age: A Straight Talking Guide to Senior Sex. The book launch date is September 2011. I've written a piece on safer sex education which highlights condom use, communicating with your partner and your doctor, and HIV and seniors.
Joan is advocate of senior sexuality, a published author, speaker and instructor, and one of my heroines in the field of senior sexuality. You can visit her website here: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/
For information on her upcoming book, Naked at Our Age, click here:
http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2010/04/naked-at-our-age-straight-talking-guide.html
Joan is advocate of senior sexuality, a published author, speaker and instructor, and one of my heroines in the field of senior sexuality. You can visit her website here: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/
For information on her upcoming book, Naked at Our Age, click here:
http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2010/04/naked-at-our-age-straight-talking-guide.html
Florida Health Study: Sexually Active Seniors Particularly Vulnerable to STDs
Interesting how every article that comes out on senior sexuality and the increase in STIs states that "experts are beginning to acknowledge.....". This is not news anymore as the trend has been going on for several years now. Particularly in Florida, which has the highest concentration of individuals 65 and older, seniors and sexually transmitted infections are not headline news. However, repetition of fact does not necessarily sink in. About 4 years ago, there was a piece on CNN reporting of the high incidence of STIs among retirees in a popular Florida retirement home. I contacted the president of this organization and asked if they do any safer sex education for their residents, citing the high rise of STIs among their clientele. I was told emphatically that they do not get involved in the private lives of their residents and they were not interested. If information on how to protect oneself is not accessible or does not filter down to those engaging in high risk behaviours, what can we do to protect this vulnerable population? We need the help of the administrators, the CEOs, the marketing and programming departments of retirement homes and senior housing complexes to make this information available. It is not interfering in clients' private lives, its presenting information to them that will inform on protecting their health and the health of their partner(s).
MCauch
SageHealth Network
May 22, 2010
------------------------------
Florida Health Study: Sexually Active Seniors Particularly Vulnerable to STDs
By Sandra Quinlan, JusticeNewsFlash.com
May 11, 2010
Teenagers and young adults have long been urged to practice safe sex as a means of preventing the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases. On the other hand, experts are beginning to acknowledge a different generation of STD-susceptible individuals: senior citizens. Specialists have even deemed unprotected sex to be a rising trend amongst Floridian retirees, according to an MSNBC report.
West Palm Beach gynecologist and sexual health specialist Dr. Maureen Whelihan noted, “The population over 60 is having a lot of sex… Some of the barriers to sex when you’re younger are: there’s not enough time, there are kids in the house, there’s no privacy, you’re tired. When retirement occurs, besides traveling, what else is there to do but have great sex?”
Since pregnancy is no longer a factor, seniors are less likely to use condoms during intercourse. However, their participation in unprotected sex thus leaves them increasingly vulnerable to STDs.
Floridians over the age of 40 reportedly had the “fastest growing rate of Chlamydia cases” in the last decade, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Health officials have apparently noticed an increase in the rate of seniors infected with herpes, gonorrhea, HIV and AIDS as well.
Dr. Whelihan admitted her patients commonly tend to disregard advice to use condoms. Nonetheless, she advised sexually active seniors to undergo routine screening for potential STDs as a precaution.
For more information on how to spot and treat sexually transmitted diseases, individuals are urged to refer to the Florida Department of Health’s Bureau of STD Prevention and Control Web site.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/vulnerable.htm
MCauch
SageHealth Network
May 22, 2010
------------------------------
Florida Health Study: Sexually Active Seniors Particularly Vulnerable to STDs
By Sandra Quinlan, JusticeNewsFlash.com
May 11, 2010
Teenagers and young adults have long been urged to practice safe sex as a means of preventing the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases. On the other hand, experts are beginning to acknowledge a different generation of STD-susceptible individuals: senior citizens. Specialists have even deemed unprotected sex to be a rising trend amongst Floridian retirees, according to an MSNBC report.
West Palm Beach gynecologist and sexual health specialist Dr. Maureen Whelihan noted, “The population over 60 is having a lot of sex… Some of the barriers to sex when you’re younger are: there’s not enough time, there are kids in the house, there’s no privacy, you’re tired. When retirement occurs, besides traveling, what else is there to do but have great sex?”
Since pregnancy is no longer a factor, seniors are less likely to use condoms during intercourse. However, their participation in unprotected sex thus leaves them increasingly vulnerable to STDs.
Floridians over the age of 40 reportedly had the “fastest growing rate of Chlamydia cases” in the last decade, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Health officials have apparently noticed an increase in the rate of seniors infected with herpes, gonorrhea, HIV and AIDS as well.
Dr. Whelihan admitted her patients commonly tend to disregard advice to use condoms. Nonetheless, she advised sexually active seniors to undergo routine screening for potential STDs as a precaution.
For more information on how to spot and treat sexually transmitted diseases, individuals are urged to refer to the Florida Department of Health’s Bureau of STD Prevention and Control Web site.
Original source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/vulnerable.htm
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Cougars-R-Us: The New World of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
Diana Kirschner
Examiner, April 15
MSNBC April 13, 2010, Here is a report from EntertainmentAndShowbiz.com: “Demi Moore says that she wants to have a baby with husband Ashton Kutcher! That is something new. This new revelation has come as a good sign from the couple… she has married someone who is her junior and she is aware of it. So let her enjoy her family life. She says that she has observed it over the years that he is a good father to her daughters from previous marriage to actor Bruce Willis. She says ‘He’s an amazing father to my daughters already, so I have no doubt that if it’s meant to happen, it would be another incredible part of our journey together.’ … She further says “We talk about it and it’s something that we would like.” The couple married in 2005 and has been quite famous ever since then. The only thing is that they have a huge age gap …. Hope the good news comes in no time and we can call someone Ashton junior.”
Starting with the character of forty-something Samantha and her young boyfriend on Sex and The City, the media has helped in recent years to open up a whole new role model: “the cougar,” an older woman who dates or marries a younger guy. There now is an online cougar dating site called Cougared.com. And OnSpeedDating.com has cougar/boy toy speed dating, among many other older women/younger guy speed dating events. And there is also a popular TV show called Cougar Town.
Younger guys are often extremely attracted to cougars, who sometimes known as MILFs, according to the Urban dictionary, a MILF is “a sexy mom, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physically attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them.” MILFs are viewed as being attractive because they are sexually savvy, careful about birth control and can be great teachers for less experienced men.
In this new Demi-Ashton world, many 45+ women have happily broadened their dating choices to include younger guys. But for them it is not just sexual: the rules have changed according to a recent study of 100 self-proclaimed cougars. The dated stereotype of the older man-eating woman, a la Stifler's mom from 'American Pie,' no longer applies. These days it is not about a sugar mama having a boy toy fling. It’s about finding a new form of lasting and fulfilling love, just as Demi has.
Most of these new cougars say they are not simply looking for a casual encounter, but rather a long-term relationship with a younger guy. They filter out the gold diggers and expect the guy to pay his way—to cover dinner or split the check. These women want the full experience of dating someone who is romantic, chivalrous and, best of all, relatively free of the emotional baggage of past relationships. 52% of the cougars in the study were in their 40s and their ideal guy is aged 24-27. 45% were ‘lifestyle cougars’ who have dated more than five younger men. Over-40 women are redefining the rules and roles of cougar dating. They know what they want in love relationships and are opening doors to new possibilities for themselves. And the younger guys are now hunting cougars!
Diana Kirschner Ph.D.’s bestselling dating advice book “Love in 90 Days” is just out in paperback with a chapter on Dating Games Men Play --plus a special section on successful dating for women over 45. Dr. Diana is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show. Connect with Dr. Diana and get her Free Relationship and Dating Advice E-course.
Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-29255-NY-Dating-Over40-Examiner~y2010m4d15-CougarsRUs-The-New-World-of-Demi-Moore-and-Ashton-Kutcher
Saturday, April 17, 2010
HIV, AIDS Cases Rise Sharply for N.J. Senior Citizens in Recent Years
By Barry Carter, The Star-Ledger
March 31, 2010
In New Jersey, one out of three people living with HIV is a female.
And one of them could be your grandmother.
Consider a 76-year-old grandmother from Irvington. The man she dated for years tiptoed outside their relationship seven years ago and turned her life upside down. She began to feel weak but had no idea what was wrong, why she didn’t have an appetite, why she felt sick all the time.
"I sure didn’t think I had long to live," she said. "I was fixin’ to leave this place."
Our elders are living longer these days and staying vibrant longer. They are a generation that never dreamed it would be vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. We didn’t think they were in danger, either.
"It all stems from people thinking that seniors are not sexually active,’’ said Caitlyn Flynn, program coordinator of the New Jersey Women & Aids Network. Consequently, doctors do not look for AIDS symptoms. "We are not asking them questions as if they are sexually active and not giving them the information they need."
As of December 2008, state health officials said, there were 1,282 people age 65 and older living with HIV/AIDs — 32 percent of them are women. Seniors have the fastest rate of increase of HIV/AIDS cases in the past few years.
Between 2007 and 2008, people 65 and over with HIV/AIDS grew 17.5 percent, said Marilyn Riley, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health and Senior Services. Much of the problem, she said, is education and seniors not believing they are at risk. They’ve been in long-term relationships, thinking their partner is not out there creeping. That’s what young people do, right?
Our Irvington grandmother lost over 60 pounds in a year, dropping from 160 to 96 pounds before doctors at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey in Newark tested her for the HIV/AIDS virus. The woman asked to remain anonymous for this column because she wants her condition to remain private.
She said she was embarrassed by her illness, which is an additional reason seniors with AIDS are a hidden population. The woman said only two of her children know. None of her friends do, and it’s going to stay that way.
"I have several patients, women in their late 50s who can’t tell their children," said Sally L. Hodder, executive vice chair and director of HIV Programs at the UMDNJ-New Jersey Medical School in Newark. "They wouldn’t know how to explain it."
The Irvington grandmother is better. Her T-cells, the ones that protect the body from infection, are up. So is her weight at 146 pounds. Vegetables never tasted better. She hopes seniors use protection, something she doesn’t worry about anymore. She’s finished with intimacy.
"I’m all by myself now,’’ she said.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/HIVJersey.htm
March 31, 2010
In New Jersey, one out of three people living with HIV is a female.
And one of them could be your grandmother.
Consider a 76-year-old grandmother from Irvington. The man she dated for years tiptoed outside their relationship seven years ago and turned her life upside down. She began to feel weak but had no idea what was wrong, why she didn’t have an appetite, why she felt sick all the time.
"I sure didn’t think I had long to live," she said. "I was fixin’ to leave this place."
Our elders are living longer these days and staying vibrant longer. They are a generation that never dreamed it would be vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. We didn’t think they were in danger, either.
"It all stems from people thinking that seniors are not sexually active,’’ said Caitlyn Flynn, program coordinator of the New Jersey Women & Aids Network. Consequently, doctors do not look for AIDS symptoms. "We are not asking them questions as if they are sexually active and not giving them the information they need."
As of December 2008, state health officials said, there were 1,282 people age 65 and older living with HIV/AIDs — 32 percent of them are women. Seniors have the fastest rate of increase of HIV/AIDS cases in the past few years.
Between 2007 and 2008, people 65 and over with HIV/AIDS grew 17.5 percent, said Marilyn Riley, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health and Senior Services. Much of the problem, she said, is education and seniors not believing they are at risk. They’ve been in long-term relationships, thinking their partner is not out there creeping. That’s what young people do, right?
Our Irvington grandmother lost over 60 pounds in a year, dropping from 160 to 96 pounds before doctors at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey in Newark tested her for the HIV/AIDS virus. The woman asked to remain anonymous for this column because she wants her condition to remain private.
She said she was embarrassed by her illness, which is an additional reason seniors with AIDS are a hidden population. The woman said only two of her children know. None of her friends do, and it’s going to stay that way.
"I have several patients, women in their late 50s who can’t tell their children," said Sally L. Hodder, executive vice chair and director of HIV Programs at the UMDNJ-New Jersey Medical School in Newark. "They wouldn’t know how to explain it."
The Irvington grandmother is better. Her T-cells, the ones that protect the body from infection, are up. So is her weight at 146 pounds. Vegetables never tasted better. She hopes seniors use protection, something she doesn’t worry about anymore. She’s finished with intimacy.
"I’m all by myself now,’’ she said.
Source: http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/2010/HIVJersey.htm
Feeling Lonely Adds to Rate of Blood Pressure Increase in People 50 Years Old and Older
It's not a surprise to hear loneliness is a common problem in older adults and seniors. However, this article addresses how high blood pressure can be a result of loneliness and lack of satisfying relationships. Silver Sparks Speed Dating for seniors was developed to address the issue of loneliness and companionship among older adults and seniors. The opportunity for social network is an exciting, innovative way to meet new people and establish friendships and enhance social and mental wellbeing.
MCauch
SageHealth Network
---------------------
University of Chicago
March 17, 2010
Chronic feelings of loneliness take a toll on blood pressure over time, causing a marked increase after four years, according to a new study at the University of Chicago.
A new study shows, for the first time, a direct relation between loneliness and larger increases in blood pressure four years later—a link that is independent of age and other factors that could cause blood pressure to rise, including body-mass index, smoking, alcohol use and demographic differences such as race and income.
The researchers also looked at the possibility that depression and stress might account for the increase but found that those factors did not fully explain the increase in blood pressure among lonely people 50 years and older.
"Loneliness behaved as though it is a unique health-risk factor in its own right," wrote researcher Louise Hawkley in an article, "Loneliness Predicts Increased Blood Pressure," published in the current issue of the journal Psychology and Aging.
Hawkley, Senior Research Scientist with the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, is part of a University of Chicago research team that has been doing pioneering work on the impact of loneliness on health and quality of life issues. It includes Ronald Thisted, Chairman of Health Studies; Christopher Masi, Assistant Professor in Medicine; and John Cacioppo, the Tiffany & Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology.
High blood pressure, often called a silent threat as it has few symptoms, undermines health in many ways. It increases the risk for heart attack and stroke and impairs kidney function. A systolic blood pressure measurement greater than 140 mm, also called hypertension, is the most common primary diagnosis in the United States and is the primary or contributing cause of about 18 percent of deaths in this country. It is estimated to cost $73.4 billion per year. However, any measurement greater than 115 mm increases risk for cardiovascular disease, according to a 2003 report by the Joint National Committee on Prevention, Detection, Evaluation and Treatment of High Blood Pressure.
Like blood pressure, loneliness is sometimes not easy to detect. People who have many friends and a social network can feel lonely if they find their relationships unsatisfying, Hawkley said. Conversely, people who live rather solitary lives may not be lonely if their few relationships are meaningful and rewarding.
The team based its research on a study of 229 people aged 50 to 68. The randomly chosen group included whites, African Americans and Latinos who were part of a long-term study on aging. Members of the group were asked a series of questions to determine if they perceived themselves as lonely. They were asked to rate connections with others through a series of topics, such as "I have a lot in common with the people around me," "My social relationships are superficial" and "I can find companionship when I want it."
During the five-year study, Hawkley found a clear connection between feelings of loneliness reported at the beginning of the study and rising blood pressure over that period. "The increase associated with loneliness wasn't observable until two years into the study, but then continued to increase until four years later," she said.
Even people with modest levels of loneliness were impacted. Among all the people in the sample, the loneliest people saw their blood pressure go up by 14.4 mm more than the blood pressure of their most socially contented counterparts over the four-year study period.
Lonely people's apprehension about social connections may underlie the blood pressure increase.
"Loneliness is characterized by a motivational impulse to connect with others but also a fear of negative evaluation, rejection and disappointment," Hawkley said. "We hypothesize that threats to one's sense of safety and security with others are toxic components of loneliness, and that hypervigilance for social threat may contribute to alterations in physiological functioning, including elevated blood pressure."
Contact: William Harms
w-harms@uchicago.edu
773-702-8356 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 773-702-8356 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
University of Chicago
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/Lonely.htm
MCauch
SageHealth Network
---------------------
University of Chicago
March 17, 2010
Chronic feelings of loneliness take a toll on blood pressure over time, causing a marked increase after four years, according to a new study at the University of Chicago.
A new study shows, for the first time, a direct relation between loneliness and larger increases in blood pressure four years later—a link that is independent of age and other factors that could cause blood pressure to rise, including body-mass index, smoking, alcohol use and demographic differences such as race and income.
The researchers also looked at the possibility that depression and stress might account for the increase but found that those factors did not fully explain the increase in blood pressure among lonely people 50 years and older.
"Loneliness behaved as though it is a unique health-risk factor in its own right," wrote researcher Louise Hawkley in an article, "Loneliness Predicts Increased Blood Pressure," published in the current issue of the journal Psychology and Aging.
Hawkley, Senior Research Scientist with the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, is part of a University of Chicago research team that has been doing pioneering work on the impact of loneliness on health and quality of life issues. It includes Ronald Thisted, Chairman of Health Studies; Christopher Masi, Assistant Professor in Medicine; and John Cacioppo, the Tiffany & Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology.
High blood pressure, often called a silent threat as it has few symptoms, undermines health in many ways. It increases the risk for heart attack and stroke and impairs kidney function. A systolic blood pressure measurement greater than 140 mm, also called hypertension, is the most common primary diagnosis in the United States and is the primary or contributing cause of about 18 percent of deaths in this country. It is estimated to cost $73.4 billion per year. However, any measurement greater than 115 mm increases risk for cardiovascular disease, according to a 2003 report by the Joint National Committee on Prevention, Detection, Evaluation and Treatment of High Blood Pressure.
Like blood pressure, loneliness is sometimes not easy to detect. People who have many friends and a social network can feel lonely if they find their relationships unsatisfying, Hawkley said. Conversely, people who live rather solitary lives may not be lonely if their few relationships are meaningful and rewarding.
The team based its research on a study of 229 people aged 50 to 68. The randomly chosen group included whites, African Americans and Latinos who were part of a long-term study on aging. Members of the group were asked a series of questions to determine if they perceived themselves as lonely. They were asked to rate connections with others through a series of topics, such as "I have a lot in common with the people around me," "My social relationships are superficial" and "I can find companionship when I want it."
During the five-year study, Hawkley found a clear connection between feelings of loneliness reported at the beginning of the study and rising blood pressure over that period. "The increase associated with loneliness wasn't observable until two years into the study, but then continued to increase until four years later," she said.
Even people with modest levels of loneliness were impacted. Among all the people in the sample, the loneliest people saw their blood pressure go up by 14.4 mm more than the blood pressure of their most socially contented counterparts over the four-year study period.
Lonely people's apprehension about social connections may underlie the blood pressure increase.
"Loneliness is characterized by a motivational impulse to connect with others but also a fear of negative evaluation, rejection and disappointment," Hawkley said. "We hypothesize that threats to one's sense of safety and security with others are toxic components of loneliness, and that hypervigilance for social threat may contribute to alterations in physiological functioning, including elevated blood pressure."
Contact: William Harms
w-harms@uchicago.edu
773-702-8356 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 773-702-8356 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
University of Chicago
Original link: http://www.globalaging.org/health/us/2010/Lonely.htm
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Seniors and STDs on Scrubs
I've been searching for this video clip-- an old episode from 2008--from the TV show, Scrubs. I was so impressed that the writers of this show actually address this subject and educate viewers on some important facts on aging and sexuality. It's a great example of how sexually transmitted diseases in the elderly can be misdiagnosed and also undiagnosed. Physicians may not address the issue of sexuality with their older patients due to embarrassment on their part and for their patients, and myths that seniors are asexual. As Dr. Cox so eloquently puts it, "the one thing they damn sure can do is have sex until they croak. The fact of the matter is thanks to a variety of male enhancement drugs, stds have increased among the elderly by 300%" Eliot's comment that "old people sex is disgusting!" sadly, is an attitude that is common among many health care professionals due to long held sterotypes of the elderly.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Helen Mirren edging out Megan Fox for Sexiest Woman Alive title
Believe it or not, 63-year-old Helen Mirren is beating out hottie Megan Fox in Esquire's annual poll.
By Joanna Douglas
It's time again for Esquire's annual Sexiest Woman Alive, only this year the magazine is allowing readers to weigh in by voting through March Madness-style brackets.
The voting began last week, pitting 22-year-old Megan Fox against 63-year-old Helen Mirren. With Fox getting covered in motor oil in "Transformers" and playing a lesbian vampire in "Jennifer's Body" you'd think she'd be a shoo-in for the Esquire title, but such is not the case. And we're so glad.
Don't get us wrong, we actually kind of like Megan Fox for her interview candor, and there's no denying her sex appeal, but how completely awesome is it that the still gorgeous Mirren, 41 years her senior, has taken 59% of the vote?!
Esquire's ballot refers to Fox as "a bombshell who doesn't play coy," while they commend Mirren for her "great rack, and eyes that can cut a bombshell in half." Ha!
The magazine asked Mirren what she thought about the results thus far. "I was surprised and flattered to be included at all," she said. "Personally I think Ms. Fox is one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere. I am gobsmacked." Cast your vote here.
(Photo credit: Getty Images)
Original link: http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/fashion-beauty/articles/archive/yahoolifestyle/yahoolifestyle-helen_mirren_edging_out_megan_fox_for_sexiest_woman_alive_title
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Companion Connections Speed Dating for 55+
(Scarborough, ON): St. Paul’s L’Amoreaux Centre is set to host another Companion Connections, a social networking event designed for adults 55 years and older on Saturday, April 17th from 2:00-5:00 pm. Promoted across the GTA, Companion Connections is a unique experience that enables participants to meet new people and make social connections.
A strong network of family and friends pro¬motes healthy aging physically, emotionally and mentally. As people get older, it becomes more challenging to expand social networks and meet new people. Single men in particular gain many positive health benefits from social events and community engagement. Companion Connections is a fun, relaxed, and safe environment to meet other single mature adults.
Companion Connections is modeled on a typical speed dating framework in which participants are given time to get to know each other in a relaxed conversation. Icebreaker questions are available for those who are nervous or shy. Men rotate seats every 6 minutes while women remain seated. If an individual is interested in their conversation partner, he or she will check off the person’s name on their score sheet. Contact information will only be given if both parties have checked off each other’s name.
Companion Connections is a collaboration among several community agencies, seniors’ centres, and business partners across the GTA.
Registration will be on a first come, first served basis. St. Paul’s will not be reserving spaces. The last day to register for this event is Friday, April 2, 2010. For more information, please call 416-493-3333 ext 271 or visit our website at www.splc.ca
A strong network of family and friends pro¬motes healthy aging physically, emotionally and mentally. As people get older, it becomes more challenging to expand social networks and meet new people. Single men in particular gain many positive health benefits from social events and community engagement. Companion Connections is a fun, relaxed, and safe environment to meet other single mature adults.
Companion Connections is modeled on a typical speed dating framework in which participants are given time to get to know each other in a relaxed conversation. Icebreaker questions are available for those who are nervous or shy. Men rotate seats every 6 minutes while women remain seated. If an individual is interested in their conversation partner, he or she will check off the person’s name on their score sheet. Contact information will only be given if both parties have checked off each other’s name.
Companion Connections is a collaboration among several community agencies, seniors’ centres, and business partners across the GTA.
Registration will be on a first come, first served basis. St. Paul’s will not be reserving spaces. The last day to register for this event is Friday, April 2, 2010. For more information, please call 416-493-3333 ext 271 or visit our website at www.splc.ca
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